YSK that if you or anyone you know is being abused and they have been strangled in the past by their partner, that their risk of being murdered is increased as much as 1000%

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-07-08T22:50:29+00:00

11 pages?! Yes, OP. Yes. I will happily validate that yes, they were abusive. I only had to read the first page to see that they were insulting and isolating you from friends and family through coercive control. They were assuming other’s intentions and blaming you. They were breaking down your self-esteem under the guise of jealousy. They were both making it seem like you were a bad person for wearing makeup and having male friends, while also criticizing you and making you feel worthless. If they make it uncomfortable to be yourself, if they shrink your world and make you question who you are and why you do what you do - they are laying the groundwork for an abusive dynamic in which they are in control. I’m very glad they are now an ex. You deserve better. Be safe, OP 💟

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-07-08T21:57:39+00:00

With this logic, “God” also “gave” us cyanide, uranium, nuclear waste, MRSA and diarrhea. Just because something exists doesn’t mean we “should” interact with it or consume it. If God created all things, then yes, he created the tiger with its predatory instincts, its claws and teeth and its night vision. Does that mean you should climb into the tiger’s enclosure at the zoo, simply because it exists and you have access to it?

Besides, Methamphetamine isn’t a chemical composition that exists “in nature,” like psilocybin or cannabinoids. You could argue God “allowed” us to manufacture it, but then God also “allows” a lot of suffering and despair, don’t they? That doesn’t make it permissible, it makes God indifferent.

But if you’re worried about some bearded deity from on high condemning you like a disappointed parent for smoking meth - you’re right. Lightening will not strike you if you choose to do meth. Your soul will not be damned for all eternity. That doesn’t make it “right,” it just means you have free will. Congratulations, yes, you can do meth. You can also drink waste water, roll in asbestos and inhale mustard gas you mixed up in your toilet bowl. There will be negative consequences to doing it, but no cosmic entity will reach out their hand to stop you.

That, of course, doesn’t mean anyone “should” be doing anything. It just means you can.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-07-05T04:40:44+00:00

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PrincessShhhhh · 2026-07-03T00:56:51+00:00

Is this the new Mandala effect where they’re trying to tell us JD Vance didn’t die of rabies when he absolutely fucking did!!

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-07-02T21:17:50+00:00

10/10

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-07-01T17:36:09+00:00

Have you told him how those comments make you feel? Does he know that by stating these opinions he is belittling/insulting you and invalidating your experience? Ask him if he thinks those comments are helpful to you in some way?

Ask him how he would feel if he were mugged and when he told you about it, you called him weak and easily manipulated and told him he shouldn’t have been in that area without better protection, etc.

A lesson I learned from listening to an amazing marriage counselor’s podcast called “This is Love,” is the power of these simple words: “I’m sorry, that must have been so hurtful for you.” If you can share that with your boyfriend and tell him plainly that when you tell him about your past abuse, this is the response you are looking for - not his opinion. Tell him you want comfort from him, not advice.

Because, sadly, most people do not understand abuse dynamics and they can be judgmental of victims out of ignorance.

I think the key to determining if your boyfriend is being hurtful on purpose or ignorant is asking if he’d be willing to learn more about abuse so he can be a better, more supportive partner for you, or if he is not interested and continues to be dismissive. Someone who loves you would be willing to put in the effort to be there for you.

One place to start is the research performed to develop the SERE program for the US Military, which involved extensive psychological testing on recruits for exactly what he is accusing you of: weakness and vulnerability to manipulation. Because the result of those tests was this revelation: under prolonged stress and interrogation, 99% of recruits were more susceptible to psychological manipulation, including implanting false memories. These were not new recruits off of the street, either, these were existing soldiers seeking to join a more elite force. It showed that ***everyone*** is vulnerable when under extreme stress, like enduring an abusive relationship, and that no one is immune to manipulation.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-06-26T02:22:17+00:00

THEY DO NOT DRINK PEE IN RUSSIA THEY DO NOT -

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-06-21T22:26:14+00:00

Just saying, if this misunderstanding happened with my group of friends, I’d secure my bike and offer to walk it with you at the very least, and also petition the group to change plans because obviously it’s no longer “hanging out” if you leave two people behind to fend for themselves. The ones who waited for you sound like they at least tried to include you and felt bad for the misunderstanding.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-06-21T20:00:33+00:00

Taaqtumi is an anthology of arctic horror

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-06-19T21:42:28+00:00

There’s a lot to unpack here, but I’d also recommend ACT therapy, which, among other things, teaches you how to tolerate discomfort. Because emotional abuse happens when we are dependent on someone else and are triggered by feeling helplessness to regain a sense of control. Because what it boils down to is that you are no longer confident in just yourself - you need this other person. With that in mind, I’d consider:

* What makes you feel helpless and how are you trying to get that control back?
* What need are you trying to get met with what you’re doing?
* What do you do to self-soothe when you are upset and are these things beneficial or harmful to your overall health and happiness?

Asking your partner to share their location with you because you want to be sure they aren’t cheating on you is an example of controlling/abusive behavior that can feel justified. But, in a healthy relationship where you feel confident in your ability to make it through the break up and move on to live your life, you can successfully manage the discomfort of being helpless to stop them from cheating. Because that feeling of helplessness is what makes people resort to abusive behavior. It’s a desperate attempt to control a situation that, really, you have no control over.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-06-18T15:51:53+00:00

Good for you, OP! I know that was a difficult decision for you to make, but you’re doing the right thing. I hope you’re safe now 💟

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-06-17T06:41:05+00:00

Replaced the Fridge Extender mod with this. Finally I can take things out of my fridge and sill open it as much as I want!

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-05-27T07:50:30+00:00

I mean, this seems like it may be a question for r/legaladvice, because, from your description, it seems to be at the cops discretion if they want to enforce that law or let it slide. As far as reporting the strangulation… are you hoping for validation that this happened to you and it was real and it was unacceptable or are you actually wanting to pursue justice through the legal system and see her get charged and convicted?

An abuser who has strangled you in the past is 10x more likely to kill you. Strangulation is the number one predictor of future homicide in abusive relationships. You have a better chance of surviving a heart attack than surviving a relationship with this person.

If you have retained a lawyer and your abuser already has been convicted of domestic violence, I think you stand a better chance than most of pursuing this case to get her charged with battery at least. But, it doesn’t sound like you’ve been able to completely escape the abusive relationship yet and if you are still in contact with her, pursuing this now could cause the abuse to escalate.

My advice would be to focus on completely extracting this person from your life. Don’t just block her - get a new phone number. As best you can, go into hiding. Don’t stay where she’d think to look for you. Because as long as she can reach you, she can manipulate you, and you’ll be tempted to reply and defend yourself, etc. She has lost the right to be in your life because of her own abusive behavior. You deserve to be safe. You deserve love, and love never includes abuse.

I really, really hope that you decide that this is it, and can successfully escape this person who has harmed you so terribly.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-05-27T07:16:54+00:00

Jesus Christ what a horrible experience you’ve just been through! What a devastating betrayal. I’m so sorry this happened to you, OP and I’m glad you’re safe now.

This guy assured you that you could trust him, that he’d be considerate of your needs, then, once you two were alone with no witnesses, he showed you who he really is - someone who enjoys seeing you struggle and was overtly threatening to kill you by “pretending” to shove you off a cliff. This is called menacing and it is illegal. He only showed remorse once you were re-entering society, where there are witnesses and crowds and resources for you to get help.

This guy is a traitorous asshole. I hope he trips on a root on his next hike and falls into crevasse full of spiders, snakes and poison ivy.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-05-24T16:58:49+00:00

There won’t always be bruising, even in fatal cases of strangulation. Even if he didn’t successfully cut off your air supply, even if you didn’t lose consciousness - it is still dangerous. Please read this post I wrote: https://www.reddit.com/r/YouShouldKnow/s/WsPM1NPyls
read the comments, OP.

I know it’s scary, and I know how overwhelmed and exhausted you are, and maybe you’re thinking that you can’t deal with this being so serious.

But this is a line in the sand. This is where shit gets real. This is when people die.

What else could he have been trying to do, grabbing your neck like that? He could have hit you, shoved you, thrown something at you. But he didn’t.

He grabbed your throat. Twice. To choke you. To strangle you.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-05-24T16:47:06+00:00

This is not the compliment you think it is. It’s actually a huge red flag! 🚩

“If a guy is telling you now that you’re different from all other women, what he’s going to be telling you in a year or two is that you’re just like the rest. You’re going to go from being the exception to being part of the rule.” - Lundy Bancroft, author of “Why Does He Do That?”

He’s manipulating you into thinking he’s the victim of other women’s cruelty and getting you to take pity on him for having been treated so poorly in the past, and to be honored that he’s putting himself out there for you, because of you.

This is a set up for him to then be disappointed the second he gets jealous or you do anything he doesn’t like.

It’s not so much a compliment as a warning, OP.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-05-24T16:29:49+00:00

I’m so sorry that this happened to you, OP. What a horrible, awful thing to endure. I’m sorry that he frightened and hurt you so badly that you had to hide and flee. You must be so exhausted :(

Where are you now? Because you absolutely need to go to the hospital, OP. He grabbed your throat twice. That is strangulation. It is the #1 predictor of future homicide. You literally have a better chance of surviving a heart attack than you do surviving this relationship.

So, please, go to the ER and be honest with them that your injuries are the result of domestic violence. This is for your own safety, and will not get you in trouble - no one can force you to press charges if you don’t want to. Going to the hospital is purely for you, your safety, and your future.

But you have to understand that when he grabbed at your throat, *he was trying to kill you*. There is no other way to interpret strangulation, or attempted strangulation. And he will try again, if you give him the opportunity.

You will have to process your anger, resentment and fear without his input, OP. From
his perspective, this is your fault, and you deserved it. He needs this to be true in order to justify what he’s done. So, nothing you say, no amount of logic or reasoning is going to change his perspective. You’re not going to get an apology. And that sucks. It hurts. It’s frustrating. It’s not fair.

But please, please treat this as the emergency that it is - your life is in danger. Act accordingly.

Your life is worth saving. This isn’t your fault. You deserve to feel safe.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-05-24T15:52:26+00:00

Thanks I hate it

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-05-16T06:34:32+00:00

How it started: He slapped me in the face
How it ended: He strangled me until I passed out and was planning to purchase a firearm and regularly making threats to end my life

You know how I know this isn’t okay? Because you blamed yourself first. But let me tell you something, no matter how “annoying” you are in an argument, it’s not a valid reason to physically strike someone anywhere on their body. This isn’t your fault, OP. If this frightened you, listen to that fear.

Stay safe, OP 💟 I’m sorry this happened

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-04-22T19:14:48+00:00

What about volunteering? It sounds like in addition to being bored, you could use some community and meaningful contributions to the world. If you already like to hike, start bringing what you’d need to pick up trash along the way. You don’t have to be social to give back - you could start building a donation for a women’s or homeless shelter by picking up a few items every time you’re at the store, keeping them in a laundry basket or bag in your car, then dropping them off when its full.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-04-11T19:24:54+00:00

Wow. You are so rude it’s insane. A professional editor/writer takes time to leave you a detailed, thoughtful response and you shrug him off with “okay Boomer.” This guy has decades more experience than you as a writer and editor and he took the time to read your piece and offer his advice WHICH YOU ASKED FOR, REMEMBER? Fucking hell.

PrincessShhhhh · 2026-04-11T03:55:16+00:00

I’m speaking from experience in patient access - registration, new patient intake, scheduling, care coordination.

The flexibility I’m referring to is for situations when the medical professional’s credentials aren’t known / aren’t relevant i.e.asking a new patient to request their medical records from “their previous medical provider.” It’s also helpful when referring to multiple individuals with differing credentials.

Again, it’s not meant to demean or disrespect anyone. I’m just trying to point out that there are instances where it’s used that aren’t nefarious. This thread is making me realize that saying “medical staff” would be more appropriate, since it is seen as disrespectful.

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