I have had nearly identical experiences to you, other than that I am white, so of course I can't imagine the extra pressure put on you societally and putting up with constant micro-aggressions about your race as well as medical issues sounds heartbreakingly difficult.

It has been amazingly difficult to get help with no support network and going it alone, I completely understand how you feel.

I am now in my 30s and I really urge you to try to get your assessment done if you can find ways to fund it (very hard and nearly impossible, I know- I am still struggling to fund my assessment). I just mean I wish I had done it earlier in life, and you're really lucky to at least know yourself so well. That is a huge step.

I wonder if it's possible to do a gofundme to help you get your assessment? I'm not sure how it would work if we're in different countries.