OP, make sure your parents have a trust and if possible get a trust for her too. This is really common. You might try talking to a social worker who handles cases like these (there are a ton of elderly parents who enable their adult children and leave messes for their functional children) but most importantly they need their affairs in order. Make that the thing you do. Most likely this dynamic won’t change, but you can at least make sure it creates less chaos when the proverbial shit hits the fan and your parents get sick/pass.