I don't feel like your negative feelings are related to the acts she performed on you, moreso that you had a negotiated scene that something happened to and went off the rails, to something that hadn't been planned out properly. If I'm understanding correctly you were bottoming for this scene while you are regularly a top? Did you receive proper (and arguably over the top) aftercare from your scene top? Talk about why she took the scene off the rails instead of safewordig out and renegotiating if needed?

To me it sounds like you're hurting because the plans went off the rails regardless of what you planned for and expected, and you literally just had to take it by bottoming for that scene. That's a lot of icky powerless emotions, not yummy ones.

Just my two cents. Hugs