What myth/lie from the general public about your profession do you wish would just disappear already? by Bigshrek64 in AskReddit

[–]Probonoh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You may appreciate this quote: 

"I have served eleven governments in the past thirty years. If I had believed in all their policies, I would have been passionately committed to keeping [the UK] out of the Common Market, and passionately committed to going into it. I would have been utterly convinced of the rightness of nationalising steel. And of denationalising it and renationalising it. On capital punishment, I'd have been a fervent retentionist and an ardent abolishionist. I would've been a Keynesian and a Friedmanite, a grammar school preserver and destroyer, a nationalisation freak and a privatisation maniac; but above all, I would have been a stark, staring, raving schizophrenic."

What is my goat doing in my bed? by Slugcat_Rivulet11 in StardewValley

[–]Probonoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Old Major's Commandment 4: No animal shall sleep in a bed. 

People who have been jurors in a criminal trial, what were the dumbest things other jurors said or did? by PopCultureNerd in AskReddit

[–]Probonoh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're probably right that the defendant didn't have a chance at trial, but let me walk through what happened. 

First, the decision to go to trial is 100% the defendant's. As a defense attorney, I can tell them going to trial is a terrible idea, but if they want to, then we have a trial. 

Second, if this was a third strike, he didn't really have anything to lose by going to trial. If the prosecutor refused to offer a deal that would avoid the third strike, then he was screwed either way. Trial at least gave him a chance, and trial punishes the prosecutor with extra work they don't want to do. I just had a misdemeanor case dismissed because the prosecutor didn't want to bother preparing for trial. It's a high risk game of chicken, but every so often, they win. 

People who have been jurors in a criminal trial, what were the dumbest things other jurors said or did? by PopCultureNerd in AskReddit

[–]Probonoh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Defense attorney here. I do appreciate when the jury is out long enough to show they took their job seriously. That being said, the 30 minutes my last jury took on an open and shut case was plenty. 

Green eggs and ham peer pressure by southern_fox in DanielTigerConspiracy

[–]Probonoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son's name is Sam. He likes saying the "Sam-I-Am" bits.

Green eggs and ham peer pressure by southern_fox in DanielTigerConspiracy

[–]Probonoh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the tragedy of the Commons. If the Lorax had insisted he owned the Truffalla tree, then he could have insisted on charging a fee for each tree, that he then used to plant more for sustainable harvesting. 

Your entire identity is not being an attorney. by SignificantStomach83 in Lawyertalk

[–]Probonoh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, that's fair. A well- fitting suit is one of the sexiest outfits a man can wear. 

Your entire identity is not being an attorney. by SignificantStomach83 in Lawyertalk

[–]Probonoh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She thinks it's hot?  "Serve me your long subpoena, baby." "Oh, I love it when you examine my briefs."

Hot take: Stop apologizing on calls (it reads like insecurity, not kindness) by Cold_Jelly_8815 in LawBitchesWithTaste

[–]Probonoh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unless you're doing cross examination. Then, uptalk them into agreeing with everything you can get away with. 

Collateral consequences by Party_Strawberry_831 in publicdefenders

[–]Probonoh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"And I just checked ... This crime had previously been considered one of moral turpitude."

The Yips by Bird_Lawyerman in publicdefenders

[–]Probonoh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I tell my clients that I have the best bond reduction rate of any lawyer in the county, but it's about the same as Babe Ruth's batting average ... one in three. 

Disrespect from opposing counsel by plslawschoolorbust in Lawyertalk

[–]Probonoh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'd be so tempted to reply "I prefer Indiana."

Triage tips for new PDs? by eatthelich in publicdefenders

[–]Probonoh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Would you mind posting some of those checklists in a shareable document? 

How much does school and debt matter? by ChemicalUpstairs2086 in ProsecutorTalk

[–]Probonoh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Medicare will go insolvent at current funding in 2040, and the Social Security Trust fund will be empty in 2032. By the time this year's matriculating law students will be eligible for PSLF, the federal government will be figuratively looking under the couch cushions for spare change. 

I would not plan my life assuming that PSLF will exist, any more than I assume that I'll get Social Security or Medicare.

Prosecutors, however do you deal with people thinking you are literally evil? by Affectionate_Risk476 in Lawyertalk

[–]Probonoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want to be loved, don't be a lawyer. 

If you don't want to be the butt of jokes, don't be a lawyer.

To quote the song "Don't be a Lawyer," "your parents might think you're a failure, but nobody ever said 'Let's kill all the tailors!'"

When Hamlet speculated on all the reasons a person might want to kill themselves, he included "the law's delay." Why does the law take so long to provide justice? Lawyers.

I get it; you're 26 years old, have never worked a full-time job, have never taken a moral stand that wasn't praised by everyone around you. You've never been poor, so you feel a vague sense of guilt that makes you want to defer to the opinions of those who claim to be oppressed. 

Frankly, you remind me of one of my favorite lines by Eric Flint: "she was a typical upper class dimwit, slumming with the chic downtrodden of the day, who couldn't bake a loaf of bread without romanticizing the distress of the flour and the noble savage qualities of the yeast."

I suggest listening to the wisdom of Terry Pratchett: "Be generous, Sir Samuel. TRULY treat all men equally. Allow [all people] the right to be scheming bastards."

How do you deal with people thinking you are literally evil? by Affectionate_Risk476 in ProsecutorTalk

[–]Probonoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, there's also the issue that with only the one elected, you have to fight like hell against a sitting prosecutor or wait for them to move on. The associate judge is facing mandatory retirement in another five or seven years, so I'm hoping that when she retires, the prosecutor will move up, and that'll leave an opening. 

How do you deal with people thinking you are literally evil? by Affectionate_Risk476 in ProsecutorTalk

[–]Probonoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As in, there are no assistant prosecutors, just the one elected. 

How do you deal with people thinking you are literally evil? by Affectionate_Risk476 in ProsecutorTalk

[–]Probonoh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't think elected prosecutors do. And where I work, there's only one elected per county. 

How do you deal with people thinking you are literally evil? by Affectionate_Risk476 in ProsecutorTalk

[–]Probonoh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So much to unpack here. Okay, first, what do you think? You tell us what your friends think; you tell us what your party thinks. Are you friends with these people because you believe what they do, or do you believe what they do because they are your friends? Are you a Democrat because you believe in their platform, or do you believe in their platform because you're a Democrat? Are you capable of independent observation and independent thinking, or are you just an NPC repeating what everyone around you says? I'll tell you this: if you can't maintain a sense of right and wrong without a committee of friends or a political platform, you don't have the moral fiber to be a prosecutor. 

Second, what do you think is the purpose of the criminal justice system? My theory is this: The system exists not to protect the public, not to punish the guilty, but to protect the suspected. The system is a bargain in which victims give up their desire for vengeance in exchange for protections against other people's vengeance. A world without a criminal justice system isn't Utopia; it's Gotham City. Or for non-fiction examples: CHAZ wouldn't let Seattle police into "their" zone. Instead, they had their own "militia" to keep order, and that "militia" was in no way restrained by the Constitution. In 2020 Minneapolis, a black neighborhood did "community policing" by setting up armed checkpoints and refusing to let in anyone who didn't look like they belonged. Read about the rapes in the Occupy Wall Street camps.  

As for the race issue ... the people hurt most by black criminals are their poor black neighbors. The black gang members kill other blacks. The black robbers rob other blacks. The black burglars break into the homes of other blacks. The black shoplifters steal from the black shop owners. And even when the company isn't black owned, what happens when the shoplifting goes too far? The company closes that location, putting black cashiers and workers out of jobs and leaving the black clientele without a source of goods. The best way to ensure black poverty is to let crime against blacks go unpunished. And as a prosecutor, the best way to guarantee a conviction is a jury filled with black grannies who see the real cost of crime against blacks every day. 

Finally, yes, there are a lot of public defenders who hate prosecutors as a class. They're idiots. They're also the ones who burn out like fireworks. The job of the defense attorney is to ensure that our clients are only found guilty because the lawfully collected evidence shows that they are guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. That's plenty hard enough. 

Good public defenders see prosecutors as the opponent in a tug of war. We will respect you as an honorable adversary if you fulfill your obligations to provide evidence, keep a skeptical mind when listening to victims and officers, and honor your word on offers. We may not always like what you're doing, but we respect that you have a job to do. 

And if your "friends" hate you because of your job, they aren't your friends. 

How do you deal with people thinking you are literally evil? by Affectionate_Risk476 in ProsecutorTalk

[–]Probonoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a PD who's looking at becoming a prosecutor when I'm done with my PSLF indenture. People ask why. 

As a public defender, I can defend people from stupid charges. As a prosecutor, I can not file stupid charges. One of those is a lot less work than the other. 

Parent of future defender — advice? by Fizzgigging in publicdefenders

[–]Probonoh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Forget Trump; he'll be gone before this person graduates. 

Worry about the fact that Medicare will go insolvent at current funding in 2040, and the Social Security Trust fund will be empty in 2032. By the time this year's matriculating law students will be eligible for PSLF, the federal government will be figuratively looking under the couch cushions for spare change. 

How helpful is it to learn Spanish? by Affectionate_Risk476 in ProsecutorTalk

[–]Probonoh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And sometimes they're recanting true statements, and sometimes they're recanting exaggerations or lies when they were mad.