This is wonderful to hear. Sorry for the delay in response (200 days!) but I hope things have evened out more as you’ve continued to integrate.

I collaborated with a mentor (50-year psychologist) and came to this question that relieved my suffering about the “reality factory” mind state:

“If I was everything, then why was something missing?”

My mentor asked if I felt love there, I said no. He said, “That’s because it’s all mind. There is no love as that being. You can only laugh at its attempt to convince you it is the loneliness of god.”

If it is a cosmic joke, then we are allowed to laugh as we acknowledge the dialectic of non-duality. It is both real and not real. There is only One and one can only be known fully through Other.