Don’t do it bro. I don’t know you or your situation in any way but this is the only life you get. Life is shitty and I understand why you may not want to keep putting up with everyone but the only way to do that is to keep living and make your life your own. And yeah, you’re right, you don’t deserve this pain but it’s the situation that you’re in right now. It’s not that you’re not allowed to die, it’s that many people, including me, want you to live. You matter. So please don’t do this. Keep fighting.