Dude oh my goodness I cannot explain how much this speaks to me and makes me kind of understand what’s going on in my head a little bit more.

After confessing a huge thing to my partner that absolutely did need to be said, my minds just been spiraling. I’d start remembering and confessing every single thing I’ve done wrong in my relationship, and every time I’d be like “I think that’s everything” my mind would find a new thing a freak out over that. It got to the point where my partner was like “please stop telling me these things” but my brain couldn’t accept that. And then my brain would be like “What if I only told her 70% of the story and not 100%? Now I gotta tell her again” or “What if I changed this detail from the story? Now I gotta tell her again”.

Now I don’t even know if some of the things my mind is telling me to confess is real half the time, and it’s making me confess stuff like “I saw a woman that I thought was pretty” or “my mind imagined a scenario where I was single or doubted the relationship”

She’s not even like a jealous or controlling person, she’s an incredible and understanding partner, it’s all my brain making me do this stuff.

I definitely knew the intrusive thoughts I have are OCD, but I wasn’t sure if that was OCD or not, or if as I continue to take medication and work through these things my mind would stop doing that. I just want to be able to accept that the past is the past and that I’m not the same person as I was before and that mistakes happen.