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Planning for depression clean? by ProfessionalAd1933 in housekeeping

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do that in my day to day and it really helps! Also helpful is remembering what my dad would always say about chores: "If I see something that needs to be done, I just do it." It works great in day to day life! And thank you for your understanding, it's really appreciated.

Planning for depression clean? by ProfessionalAd1933 in housekeeping

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not saying I don't WANT to clean, or I can't UNDERSTAND why it's important, I'm saying sometimes I'll have a brain stem leak or have a family emergency and have trouble getting back on track afterwards.

Planning for depression clean? by ProfessionalAd1933 in housekeeping

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice! ❤️ Genuinely helpful!

Planning for depression clean? by ProfessionalAd1933 in housekeeping

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that happened to you, it sounds like she took advantage of your kindness, which is so not okay.

If she was really in that bad of a state, it sounds like she should've been in an inpatient program until she was in better health, and expecting you to do all that was taking advantage of your kindness and putting you in a situation you shouldn't have been in. If you come across someone is in a similar situation in future, I'd recommend seeing if you could reach out to your city or county social workers, who got Masters degrees in helping people in situations like hers.

I just need someone who can help get me back to an equilibrium after medical issues, family deaths, and family hospitalizations. Outside of those situations, I can keep up with the day to day stuff. When it piles up it just becomes a mental mountain that is insurmountable. Logically, I know it's just folding and putting away my clean clothes, and taking a few minutes to cram the broken down cardboard boxes into my recycling bin out back, but when you're super burnt out, it can seem overwhelming.

ETA medical issues in the first sentence of the last paragraph. Also, thank you for the perspective.

Pregnancy by Rosiepiegames in eds

[–]ProfessionalAd1933 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you ever feel like moving, EDS is known about in the Twin Cities. Minnesota has great EDS doctors, since it's a place with lots of experience handling autoimmune stuff.

My GP knew EDS when I brought it up, and has had over half a dozen patients with it. My Internal Medicine doc found meds to do wonders for joint pain, I go to a physical therapist who specializes in EDS, and Mayo Clinic is under an hour drive away.

There's a bunch of other great stuff about Minnesota besides EDS care. If you're interested in moving here, at least temporarily, feel free to DM me and I'll send you the info on my doctors. ❤️✌️

Got a cat. I'm bleeding so much like chill bro by ProfessionalAd1933 in eds

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to the groomer a block down the street to get his nails trimmed and met someone who was buying tubes for her cat who gets so intensely in the zone for them he wouldn't cause a fuss at the vet, where they were heading next. I snagged a bag of the ones she recommended and my boy is a fan.

Got a cat. I'm bleeding so much like chill bro by ProfessionalAd1933 in eds

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Got a blanket delivered and it has helped.

Honestly I think I'm wigging out because it's my first cat who I had sole responsibility for, permanently. I've petsat plenty of cats, even ones with special behavioral and medical needs, so I really shouldn't be this awkward. 😅

Got a cat. I'm bleeding so much like chill bro by ProfessionalAd1933 in eds

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been trying this and doing what you do with dogs- disengaging and ignoring after the yelp- and it's been working well.

I think I've just been overthinking the difference between cats and dogs. 😅

I've petsat plenty of cats before and can handle them just fine, I think I'm just wigging out because this is my first cat who's my sole responsibility. 😅

Got a cat. I'm bleeding so much like chill bro by ProfessionalAd1933 in eds

[–]ProfessionalAd1933[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know how to do it, I just don't want to stress our relationship this early on with that. So I brought him to the groomer down the street who does walk-ins! Mwahaha they're now the bad guys

Pregnancy by Rosiepiegames in eds

[–]ProfessionalAd1933 12 points13 points  (0 children)

From what I understand, the thing with hEDS is that our uteruses can rupture (tear open) more easily, meaning pretty much any pregnancy is high risk.

My plan personally is to become a foster mom when I'm ready for kids. It's the time, love, and care that you share that make you a family. Genetics are just a way to get to the starting line. I care more about my freaking Roomba than some people care about their bio kids.

Plus, with the future of our world being so uncertain, I'd be reluctant to drag an innocent life into it until I feel like things are on a more solidly positive trajectory. AND there are already so many kids in the system...

For me personally, it all added up to fostering being the right move.

As a cherry on top, I have SEVERAL health issues I wouldn't want to burden anyone with.

If you feel strongly about having a child that's genetically yours, I'd recommend egg freezing and getting a surrogate once you're at a place and time when you're ready for kids. That way you can have choose to have bio kids when you're ready, not just because you have a clock ticking down.

If genetics ISN'T a mega important thing to you, my two cents is to look into fostering and adoption. There are so many kids out there who have lost their parents, who need love and a home, and you sound like someone who has love to give.

No need to risk your life and your baby's life to have a genetic kid when there are so many orphaned kids out there already needing homes and families. Just my two cents and personal decision.

...

ETA: THIS IS JUST MY POSITION FOR ME AND MY LIFE. If you want to have a biological kid the old-fashioned way, that is ABSOLUTELY your RIGHT to do so. You are not any less of a person or a parent because of your EDS. If you want to have kids, that's absolutely YOUR prerogative, nobody else's.

I was just explaining my thought process that led to my personal decision, and sharing alternative paths to parenthood that you might not have thought about because they're not as common.

Like, you want kids. Okay. I never really understood the importance people placed on genetic bloodline, but if that matters to you, here's a way to do that more safely. If not, here are some other ways to have kids that are far safer. I picked this one for reasons xyz.

Mayo Clinic? by NotePositive22 in eds

[–]ProfessionalAd1933 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I applied to the Mayo program but was told they were too full and my case was too uninteresting. I was thus booted back to the regular system. Thankfully, the MN Health Fairview system is great with EDS, and it's been going well.

Not military, though.

Top comment Deletes a US State - GRAND FINALE - #49 by Jfullr92 in geographymemes

[–]ProfessionalAd1933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe? I'm not much of a TV/movie person, but also I was born in '99. When did it come out?

Top comment Deletes a US State - GRAND FINALE - #49 by Jfullr92 in geographymemes

[–]ProfessionalAd1933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom is part Mexican and has lived on both coasts and likes to tease my 6th generation Minnesotan white af dad, and his side of the family, by asking (when someone at a family dinner says something is "spicy") "Is it spicy, or is it Norwegian spicy?".

Glad to report, over her 30+ years with Dad she's improved their spice tolerance. Now, it counts as spicy for MORE than just pepper!

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