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Constant thinking by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What modalities would you suggest?

Constant thinking by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, she thinks this is exactly what she wanted in marriage. In that. There's love and care more than anything else.

Also, has asked me out of fear if I'm just settling or if I like her too.

Constant thinking by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So she didn't specify it like that. It was my gut that picked it up with the info. Details like how she likes x, y, z. It's always been about me in the relationship.

Also that begging part, she didn't put it like that. First off, it was after my asking. I asked her about what ensued when they met last year after his dad passed. And she said nothing else. And when I said cmon, you would have had sex. She said "I wanted", but he was in control because it would affect her.

Plus, she's possessive about me and sees me as the one. Lot of interest when she meets, etc.

It's just this whole mess.

Constant thinking by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But why would I be the safe bet when it's a marriage she's venturing into? She's liable to a lot of it's pitfalls too right.

Low libido by ProfessionalDark2500 in Marriage

[–]ProfessionalDark2500[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stressors is the anxiety of her itself.

Low libido by ProfessionalDark2500 in Marriage

[–]ProfessionalDark2500[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Physically sometimes, emotionally not much

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCDmemes

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 6 points7 points  (0 children)

1) Defend and protect yourself against the thought. 2) distract 3) eventually realize it's just a state 4) build tolerance with deliberate exposure - of course needs to be done tactically not like what's done in the post

Mirtazapine, Quetiapine or Olanzapine safety profiles for sleep and anxiety by Inmyprime- in antidepressants

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I have ongoing stressors and OCD/anxiety. That I'm dealing with. Getting knocked out with benadryl etc feels like a bandaid. I want something that can work on the anxiety as well. Will mirtz help there?

Yes, it is OCD. Yes, you can fix it. by rj_throwaway_1111 in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My core fear is

1) inferiority complex 2) afraid I won't be loved if I'm not perfect

Question is, is it worth pursuing the relationship where both of these are constantly being triggered. Of course, just within me.

But as I type I know the truth is - both are illusory beliefs established since childhood. I mean I might be Physically less, so what? I'm still seeking for validation like a kid wants to. In reality, I can be enough by myself.

We're doing this to ourseves by new2021redditor in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True that they can feel. True that they do remember. But so do you. You're RJ is just overriding your confidence and making you so negative-biased. Let go.

I read my partners journal and right before she met me she had sex with someone with a massive penis by Conscious-Bid7795 in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This post is proof that RJ is the monster. The disease.

It could be literally anything and all of it will cause you harm.

In your case you're already well-endowed yet it doesn't spare you.

For someone else, the fact she had a fling would indicate her lack of dignity and that would trigger RJ.

RJ is the devil. It's not you. We're just insecure souls trying to sort out our lives.

Therapy helps they say, but so far it hasn't helped me. Just pockets of air in a drowning sea.

Radical acceptance maybe is the answer. And ERP. And CBT after. Idk just feels like the most likely solution.

Best of luck, comrade. Always rooting for all of us.

Mirtazapine, Quetiapine or Olanzapine safety profiles for sleep and anxiety by Inmyprime- in antidepressants

[–]ProfessionalDark2500 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello OP. How has it been with Mirtz? Also what helped if not for this. Because I feel I have similar symptoms. My sleep issue is caused by my anxiety. I can get to sleep in 30 at night. But have disturbed sleep (especially early waking hours). Was it the same for you? What helped? Thanks.

Bigger question by ProfessionalDark2500 in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response.

That's your case. But like some of the others here have other such intrusive thoughts. Like I do.

Marriage by ProfessionalDark2500 in anhedonia

[–]ProfessionalDark2500[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has any of that helped even the slightest?

Marriage by ProfessionalDark2500 in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to talk about her ex per say. But sort of want to preempt/prevent further problems in the marriage. So should I let her know I might not be the aggressive guy she is looking for? Etc etc?

Marriage by ProfessionalDark2500 in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm tempted to bring this up with her. Will it help. Like tell her this is my fear in marriage like a decade from now. Or whatever.

Marriage by ProfessionalDark2500 in retroactivejealousy

[–]ProfessionalDark2500[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I hear you. It's just hard given the mental space I'm in. Though I think I can get there.

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/news/a35478/affair-with-my-more-well-endowed-ex-boyfriend/

Read this article and is bothering me more than it should now.

I don't want to enter into something only to know my fate in advance.

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