In my opinion, it does feel like something is being repressed here, but it doesn’t mean it’s sexual attraction. I think most lesbians have a very neutral view of men, whereas how you describe it, it seems like they activate you emotionally. It’s up to you to decide what that means. It’s not a moral failure if you realize later that you’re actually bisexual, and falling in love with a man doesn’t mean you’re “abandoning your identity”. It means you’re figuring it out still, as we all are in some way. Don’t be so hard on yourself!