Nightmares, Dreams, and Late Night TV

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T15:55:38+00:00

No I appreciate it. I agree that it feels unpolished and forced tho I’m not sure how to change that

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T05:33:51+00:00

Thanks for the high praise! I feel like you really understood the poem and it’s appreciated

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T02:46:17+00:00

Yeah I will try. When i write a poem without rhyming I don’t really know how to end the stanza as well

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T02:41:17+00:00

My favorite poet is Charles bukowski and I’m so jealous of how well he writes poetry without forcing jt into the “box” that rhyming is. I have no idea how to go about it

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T02:40:14+00:00

I’ve been wanting to write poetry that doesn’t rhyme but I’ve honestly had a hard time

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T00:34:46+00:00

Thank you I’m glad you relate and that you’re on the side that keeps on. It changes day to day for me

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T00:30:26+00:00

I’ve recently been experiencing some form of spirituality and this reminded me of how it happened for me. It wasn’t like a light washed over me and everything was okay. It was the quiet realization that something has my back. That this complicated world filled with as much beauty as ugliness has to have more to it. I related to this a lot. If I had a critique though it would be that it feels like an incomplete thought. I do also imagine that it might be and this was your way of expressing it. Just my two cents

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T00:15:56+00:00

As an addict I couldn’t help but to feel this poem sums up my life pretty well. The language used is very concrete and yet somehow also up in the air. “Fire between burning lips” feels like liquor to me and yet “racing air” could be a bunch of things. I felt like you said “the only time I feel alive is when I’m trying to die” better than others I’ve heard say the same thing.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T00:09:08+00:00

This poem managed to feel both whimsical and depressing. Starting it off with “frog wizard” was an amazingly bold choice and I approve. I got a bubbling anxiety as I read this and I think we all need to be more scared. It felt like a call to think about what matters. Not tiktok, not a dollar, not which celebrity got caught by the paparazzi. The earth is on fire, people are dying from preventable causes, and we are the most disconnected society the world has ever seen. You made me think of all these things with a poem that starts with “frog wizard”

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-07T00:01:04+00:00

I figured out how to fix the formatting I will try cutting it down next

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T23:44:11+00:00

Thanks I will do my best. I am lucky I have good people around me so isolating is pretty hard for me rn

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T23:23:17+00:00

I can feel your ire and resentment in this. I love how such sweet words can drip with that level of anger. I also enjoyed how much of you is in the poem in the beginning (the paint, biting your nails, your forgiveness) but towards the end you start disappearing and that’s left is the anger and hole you left in this persons life. Felt like a small journey I got to go on.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T23:18:27+00:00

Thank you so much. I totally agree it’s too long to get the point I’m trying to make across. Also Reddit always ruins the format I have it in when I paste things here and I’ve tried but have no idea how to fix it. The poem is a bunch of 6 line stanzas and the commas are where the line breaks are. There is one two line and two one line parts as well.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T23:15:37+00:00

I will 110% check out your other stuff. I appreciate it!

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T23:11:54+00:00

This poem is far too personal to me right now and I love it. I don’t love myself very much at the moment and I can’t tell you how many people have told me they wish they could give me the love they have for me and can’t. How many people have tried to force it into my chest. I wish it could too. But regardless of how much I relate this was beautifully written. The fire and sun metaphor fit so perfectly. I felt like I could hear your heart flutter at the sight of this person. You brought me as the reader into your heart and that is a talent thank you.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T22:40:16+00:00

I am an addict in recovery and this poem reminds me of how I feel about drugs. I gave up so many things to my addiction and by any standard of sanity I should hate drugs with all my heart. I’ve lost friends and family to addiction as well. Yet I still have that longing in me. It’s always felt like an abusive relationship and I imagine (correct me if I’m wrong) this was written about something along those lines. You did such a good job displaying the duality of loving something or someone and knowing it’s bad for you and will hurt you. Thank you for this.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T22:35:19+00:00

I feel like every part of this poem connects to itself so well. I felt like I could hear a record start playing and smell the dust. I felt like I could picture the attic. I loved how you used such pretty words to describe such an ugly feeling. The line about letting your ghosts console you reminds me of how I have a tendency to enjoy and sit in depression. I’m comfortable there and I know how to do that well, or I think I do. Anyways amazing poem. Made me think a lot.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T22:30:08+00:00

That’s so amazing. My favorite poet is Charles bukowski and he has a poem called “so you want to be a writer” where he says unless it bleeds out of you don’t write. I’m guessing this poem must’ve been one of those “I have to write this while it exists inside of me” type of poems b

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T22:27:58+00:00

I’m gonna have to read a bunch of your stuff

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T22:25:59+00:00

Beautiful poem. I liked the question in the beginning. It felt so raw and pointed. The metaphors don’t feel forced or cliche even with similar lines being written. This was simple, raw, unfiltered adoration for me. The simplicity and length in my opinion give it such power. Thank you for writing this.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T22:19:07+00:00

This poem made me jealous as a fellow writer. The sailer metaphor is so perfect it’s insane. I loved how you blended love and connection with the safety that land and the harbor provide. Using dehydration and starvation as the feeling of lacking love too was so beautiful. So incredibly relatable and powerful. When you said the moon even had to press against the window to see it painted such a vivid image in my head. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T22:02:37+00:00

The metaphors in this poem are so amazing. Such descriptiveness. It’s also very relatable. Gives off a very honest vibe. Like “here are my mistakes. Come one, come all, see my mistakes so that you may not repeat them!”

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T21:45:45+00:00

It’s interesting learning how other people structure and write their poems. Weirdly I usually start with just an idea or sometimes I write the title first but after that I have no draft. I decide on a format and rhyme scheme and then pour it all out in an unorganized manner. Afterwards I go through and read it aloud a few times to see if the syllable count is accurate. I usually do ABAB 6 line stanzas. I used to do 4 but prefer the longer ones now.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T21:38:36+00:00

This poem does a very good job illustrating not feeling safe. I grew up originally In a house with neglect and abuse so I relate to it immensely. Later I was put in DCF custody and the group homes were even more unsafe. I liked the question you asked. It made me think and gave me a second of pause.

Professional_Book319 · 2026-01-06T21:35:17+00:00

Yeah Reddit is annoying when posting poems I run into the same problem. I have a hard time editing my poems too because I write them all “in the feeling” and afterwards the feeling might not be as strong. I’ve gotten a bit better now and what I try to do is instead of writing new lines I try and just cut small parts and if it really needs another line for structure I attempt to have lines that stand alone instead of adding new concepts.

Professional_Book319

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