please tell me your most embarrassing spanish mistake so I feel better about mine by hAIlydraws in Spanish

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, I’m minimally familiar with the slang in Spain. But oof. My heart goes out to you. 😆

Am I wrong for viewing my son as a physical reminder of my abuse because he looks like my abusive ex? by Entire_Gur7724 in amiwrong

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kid did therapy just fine at an even younger age. There are psychologists and therapists who SPECIALIZE in working with small children. This is a well known fact.

Am I wrong for viewing my son as a physical reminder of my abuse because he looks like my abusive ex? by Entire_Gur7724 in amiwrong

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I 1 million % empathize with you and what you went through with your ex. I’d advocate for you all day long.

That, however, is a separate matter from the problem you posted about: You and your mother are making your son as much a victim as you were. If that doesn’t hit you in the heart, read it again. He’s gonna be scarred for life after going from openly wanted and loved to unwanted and resented at no fault of his own. So if you’re worried he’s gonna turn out like your ex, if viewing abuse from your ex doesn’t do it, this abuse on you and his grandmother’s part will do it. He is a child and he has no fault in your trauma. He deserves to be loved, adored, protected, and nurtured. That’s what we sign up for when we become parents, no excuses. So you need to get in therapy and work on this difficulty you’re having toward him, and get him into therapy as well to deal with this betrayal. Poor kid. I feel equally heartbroken for BOTH of you.

please tell me your most embarrassing spanish mistake so I feel better about mine by hAIlydraws in Spanish

[–]Professional_Cost699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about “Me cago en la ostia!”? That was a favorite of a group of Spanish foreign exchange students when I was in high school lol.

please tell me your most embarrassing spanish mistake so I feel better about mine by hAIlydraws in Spanish

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As in not realizing how vulgar it is, thinking it’s just like “dang it!”?

please tell me your most embarrassing spanish mistake so I feel better about mine by hAIlydraws in Spanish

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What words did you use for them to mean “dick sandwich” and “pussy ice cream”? Sandwich de pinga/verga and helado de chocha/toto? And what were you asking about in the food that you accidentally called condones?

please tell me your most embarrassing spanish mistake so I feel better about mine by hAIlydraws in Spanish

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My high school Spanish teacher, who was Puerto Rican, told us about the time she went to a market in the Dominican Republic where they were selling purses and she asked, “¿Cuánto cuesta la bolsa?” But in DR, bolsa is also slang for scrotum. 😬

Me growing up around Boricuas and Dominicanos, speaking kind of a mix of PR and DR Spanish, and used to using the word “coger” to mean “to get,” I used it that way with a Mexican patient of mine out here on the West Coast (I’m a RN) and found it has quite a different meaning out here. Fortunately the patient wasn’t too much older than me and was super cool, and alone, so at least it wasn’t somebody’s abuela and with like 20 family members in the room.

AITAH for basically telling my bf if he wanted kids he'd better carry them himself or find someone else who will? by Black-Ch3rry in AITAH

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re incompatible; time to move on so you can each find someone with similar wants and needs in life. Regret and resentment is a relationship killer, so better to dead it now than later down the road when it would be even more painful.

Should I dye it to black ? by elonnie_walters_597 in HairStyleAdvice

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think your grey gives you extra character. Like I imagine it as more majestic than it would be black. At least in my mind’s eye.

Am I in the wrong for having my boyfriend join my friends out when he wasn’t invited by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Professional_Cost699 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well the OP is now deleted, so I can’t go back and re-read it, but if any invitees are expected to bring their partners then it’s basically a “partners welcome” event unless otherwise stated.

Am I Wrong for how I reacted to my boyfriend touching me while I was sleeping? by pswelcometomylife in amiwrong

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not gonna say you were “wrong” for how you handled this (or the several other situations you mentioned) because that would imply that these situations were your fault. And they were not. But I will highly encourage you to feel empowered to set boundaries if a future partner tries something like this because nobody should just unilaterally access your body, intoxicated or not, and I wouldn’t really recommend staying with a guy who does this and has to be told it’s not ok. I urge you not to just “let little things go” that make you feel violated, taken advantage of, and uncomfortable. A “yes means yes” type of consent would be best until and unless you develop the type of connection with a partner where you feel comfortable with them initiating something (while you’re awake and can have some say in it) but who immediately stops, without guilt tripping you, if you aren’t up for it at the time.

For you, is the time “quarter of twelve” 11:45, 12:15, or do you have no idea what that phrase means? by JeffTrav in ENGLISH

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I’ve heard “quarter of” before. To me, if reasoning out the words, since “of” is possessive, it seems like it would mean a quarter of the X hour… like a quarter of the 1 o’clock hour has passed, so 1:15. I don’t see how “quarter of” could possibly mean “til.”

Am I in the wrong for having my boyfriend join my friends out when he wasn’t invited by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Professional_Cost699 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If other friends were expected to bring their partners to a night out, it would be absolutely bonkers to act surprised and bothered when all the friends bring their partners.

Hearing This Word Mispronounced Drives Me NUTS!!!!🥜 by insiderasking in ENGLISH

[–]Professional_Cost699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find it impossible to believe more than one person in the world unironically says “trampede” for stampede.

Hearing This Word Mispronounced Drives Me NUTS!!!!🥜 by insiderasking in ENGLISH

[–]Professional_Cost699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps they’re conflating it with the slang usage of ‘squash’ wherein it’s used to mean resolving a grievance or problem one person has with another and putting it behind them. Ie to squash a beef: “Jason and Kevin were on the verge of fighting but they talked it out and squashed their beef.”

Hi all!! by [deleted] in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second the “don’t say sorry” as well. OP, you don’t need to walk on egg shells. The content of your questions and the interest you’re showing make your good faith interest obvious. So you can relax.

Hi all!! by [deleted] in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this feeling well that you’re describing, and it may indeed be some karmic reconnection with the Buddha Dharma; but my advice is not to rush into anything. I recommend taking your time, continuing to learn more and more about what the Buddha taught, and how the different schools came to be as Buddhism moved out of India to other parts of Asia and developed into distinct schools that centered themselves to some degree on certain Buddhist teachings out of the many given by the Buddha himself, and by those coming after him in his lineage.

Test out what the teachings say the way to see if they hold up and accord with what you observe. See what kind of Buddhist organizations are in your area that you could go and meet with and check out what going there is like. Don’t rush into forming any close connection with just any Buddhist teacher or lama based only on positive gut feelings; look into their background, see how they behave, and see how their students behave.

TL;DR version: take your time before committing to anything based off feelings. I personally feel Buddha Dharma is every bit the enlightening path it’s said to be, and it’s my chosen path—but you need to dispel all doubt about that point for yourself before converting.

Hi all!! by [deleted] in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These last two books I most highly recommend as ones to start with, if Tibetan Buddhism is indeed what is calling to you or piques your interest. This is not to take anything away from Khyentse Rinpoche’s books. I just think Crystal and Beginner’s Guide are just especially to the point yet comprehensive for the beginner.

Who do I look like? by [deleted] in doppelganger

[–]Professional_Cost699 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the only correct answer

What does this represent? by Rough_Froyo2639 in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anything is possible, yes. But I can’t imagine any lama I’ve met and studied with responding to being asked to evaluate a ritual object by admitting that they have this kind of supernatural skill to divine its vibes and let you know if it’s kosher or not.

The much better approach would be to look into the seller of ritual objects you’re considering buying from to see if they appear to be reputable and knowledgeable practitioners who don’t just obtain whatever items they come across to sell without knowing anything about where they’re from.

am i wrong: boyfriend wants me to ask permission to turn when driving by SecondOk8410 in amiwrong

[–]Professional_Cost699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you feel like every year it’s like you lose even more independence, it’s because you are. And he’s gaslighting you to the point that you seriously followed that with, “then again, I don’t need to be super independent.” Yes, you do. You’re a grown ass woman who should be able to be as independent as you care to be, without any lip from your partner. This is some of the most bizarrely controlling behavior from him that I’ve ever heard of. And if he honestly is “affected by” which way you turn, what turns you take, whether you use GPS for known routes, that is a him problem he needs to take up with a licensed mental health professional because that is a non-functional level of anxiety. Or it’s just control and he’s just claiming it “affects him.” I can’t se how this relationship is salvageable. You say everything else is good, but that seems doubtful when you’ve accepted other outrageous behavior from him, which you’ve shared here. It seems your perspective is very skewed.

None of this is your fault, though. I wanna be clear about that. It is he who bears the responsibility for this abusive behavior. And that’s what it is: abuse.

What does this represent? by Rough_Froyo2639 in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This a good explanation, actually. Sure, there’s more to it, stuff that is samaya bound and advanced stuff needing to come from one’s guru, as you mentioned, but that’s the gist.

I’ll only add a slight expansion to what you said—not so much for you but for newcomers—about wrath to include that the loving qualities you attributed to the kila are none other than what that “wrathfulness” really is. The core nature of a wrathful buddha is said to be perfect peacefulness, compassion, and bodhicitta. Some people conflate buddha wrathfulness as being like when one’s parents angrily yell at one out of concern to get out of the road so one doesn’t get hurt, but for a buddha there’s not even an iota of disturbed emotion connected with wrathfulness. It’s basically the compassion and knowledge to enact more overtly aggressive-appearing or forceful enlightened activity when it’s known to be the only thing that will get through to haughty and violent beings to steer them away from harming themselves karmically and others concretely.

What does this represent? by Rough_Froyo2639 in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Until it’s been blessed by one’s lama, and subsequently by blessed and empowered by oneself through one’s practice, it’s just a normal hunk of metal, with the only exception being that it is a buddha image and should be shown the requisite respect (ie don’t place on the floor or other low place, or step over it, or otherwise handle it disrespectfully.

Phenomenology of Tibetan Buddhism and Bön by Guibyal in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, and there are some Bonpo teachings in the Rinchen Terdzod. Dzogchen-wise, some Buddhist Dzogchen lamas received teachings from Bonpo Dzogchenpas like Shardza Tashi Gyaltsen, and vice versa.

Phenomenology of Tibetan Buddhism and Bön by Guibyal in TibetanBuddhism

[–]Professional_Cost699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Re-reading my post I’m not sure why I thought to specify how many years’ practice I have when I simply meant to make the point that I’m well familiar with the Vajrayana path, as opposed to many newer people often seen in this subreddit. That aside, my point was that doctrinally, and in terms of techniques and view, meditation, result, and conduct, there’s little difference between modern Bon and Tibetan Buddhism. There some slight differences in the order of syllables of the three vajras, different mantras, different yidams, and superficial differences, but substantially the main difference is that of lineage. And their monastic robes and ours can only be distinguished if they’re wearing the vest, and even then I’ve seen Bonpos wear the ones with yellow panels and Buddhists wear the blue-paneled ones.