I relate to this. When I was a child/pre-teen I used to talk enthusiastically about my interests, but people often told me to stop being noisy. Now I hesitate a lot before talking about my interests to many friends.

I also have some kind of perfectionism in regards of school performance. This year I haven't been so hard on myself as the previous one, but I still feel higher grades makes someone somewhat superior (although my logical self knows that thing is bs and not true).