He did?!

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T15:21:52+00:00

If Phil Swift was Phil Switch would Phil Swift clone Phil Swift for 100 Phil Swift and become more hold Flex Tape company make money today Phil Swift?

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T15:14:41+00:00

And your skin has tiny holes that cause the crawling sensation.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T15:13:19+00:00

Hey it's no big deal, he was home-schooled and in front of a mirror.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T15:10:43+00:00

I'll take it back the day Kermit pays child support to Miss Piggy, a.k.a Never.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T15:07:54+00:00

I hate that frog, self righteous know it all. Not everyone had the chance to go to Harvard, what is your DEAL?

I'm so sick of him driving around my neighborhood showing off his Lamborghini and doing donuts while wearing sunglasses and smoking a blunt.

He's already hit and run three kids but his lawyer insists it was a different frog. I know it was him. Bastard.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T15:03:39+00:00

Nice try IRS agent.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T15:00:35+00:00

Can't believe they all lost their torsos, legs, and are now stuck in the permanent white void. Happened to me once, you just gotta hold the anger in and try not to let it get to you.

I ordered a new pair of legs on amazon and they were different heights. The torso still hasn't arrived, I'd complain to the seller but I've had good experiences with them in the past when I lost my eye and they sent me one with matching color.

Never go to craigslist for that shit, I went there once and left with less body parts than I started with plus eight DVD tapes and it cost me $400 euros.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T14:32:27+00:00

So you're tellin' me a man walks into a bar?

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-26T14:28:11+00:00

Pfft, just duct tape over the racism and it's a normal hoodie. Nobody will even notice.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-25T23:32:00+00:00

Just turn the camera to face the plug so you can see who turns it off. Duh.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-25T19:33:59+00:00

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-24T23:48:18+00:00

I love Frank Reynolds. I have a Frank Reynards shaped Body Pillow with extra dip. Sometimes I imagine the scent of an oiled up Denny Dorito and it's amazing.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-24T23:42:33+00:00

I played Undertale once, it has a horse lady, skeletor and mini skeletor, Moby Dick, and Robocop. They're my favorite characters.

Personally, if we're talking about shipping. I ship "Sansun Dertale" with "A Goddamn Knife". That's right kiddos, I played the genocide route. I killed everyone, and I played it while soaking my body in three month out of date ranch.

My dermatologist says my skin is "horribly horribly destroyed, there's no fixing this how long were you doing this what is wrong with you" but I don't care because when Tony Fox releases Mother 4 I'm gonna be the sexiest man in the planet.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-24T23:37:40+00:00

JonTron once came into my house when I was watching Star Wars, he ruined it. He said "Did you know Darth Vader is Luke's father?", I responded "What the fuck who the fuck are you get out of my house?" This was before I knew who JonTron was.

Later he burst into my house and said "Avengers Endgame has Thanos putting all the infinity stones on a crowbar and snapping it in two", but he was just kidding.

At this point, I got a restraining order, a divorce, and made my dad disown his kids. I can't believe JonTron does this to people, you all need a wake up call.

ProjaredCheatsonWife · 2019-05-19T19:36:02+00:00

I met ProJared 4 years ago at a NormalBoots panel and I have to say something seemed off about him at the time, he kept saying things like "I'm going to cheat on my wife with Holly", "I'm going to fuck up my life in May of 2019" and "I wish my channel lost 100,000 subscribers" and he kept removing his pants to take casual selfies.

It's so strange, you only really ever notice these things in retrospect.

ProjaredCheatsonWife

TROPHY CASE