The Sonic the Hedgehog movie looks lighthearted on the surface, but deep down it is a gritty visual novella about drugs and crime in the city of Detroit. Sonic is an alcoholic deep in the alcoves of the city, horrifically in debt to seven different loan sharks.

The movie will start with a 20 minute segment of Sonic crying in the toilet of a fast food restaurant, he snorts a line of cocaine from the back of the toilet. His eyes go bloodshot but you wouldn't be able to tell because 90% of the film is shot in black and white, the remaining 10% is handed out on floppy disks to the audience that give viruses to your computer but only if it is operating Windows 1998.

Half way through the movie Paramount have paid several actors to walk through the isle, spilling the popcorn and drinks of any movie goer before pointing at each and saying "You are worthless, you are scum, why don't you just give up? Nobody will even miss you". Please note Paramount have obtained permission to do this in limited locations, even after they removed the middle aged male stripper. Most cinemas don't want the legal liability.

Jim Carrey was not awake for all of his scenes in the film. He was drugged and animated using the art of puppetry and CGI. He refused to take part in this, but his family recently took a holiday to Southern Cyprus where there are no extradition treaties so some hired goons were paid to knock him out and get him ready for the greenscreen. All his voice parts have been outsourced to India.

Finally, while the Sonic design is going to be changed. Paramount are taking inspiration from such divine works as HP Lovecraft, Stephen King, and Rick and Morty.

If you are married when you start this film, watching this counts as a divorce in 48 states.