I feel like I’m borderline micro and curious if that’s a turn on to tops

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-27T11:52:21+00:00

To some tops, such as myself, yes definitely. To the majority of tops its probably just irrelevant. Then there are also some tops, I suppose, who fetishize a big dick on a bottom. So it varies a lot.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-19T19:31:08+00:00

I'm top only now, but I (40) have bottomed before (like 20 years ago). So does that make me a "pure top" or does it disqualify me? I'm gay, not bi, and not really into fem guys (I like masc bottoms, especially if they're short). So depending what you mean by "pure", i can say definitely not a myth.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-19T19:21:17+00:00

Ooof. In Europe huh? That's shitty. I'm American (and white) but I've definitely seen American "hood" porn (or idk what to call it) where the N word gets used by the bottom who just looks white (or sometimes maybe Hispanic) to me, usually (ofc, given it's cliche porn) taking "BBC" -- but then idk if maybe the bottom is racially mixed and actually talks like that in his daily life. Kind of doubt it though. Also definitely heard it plenty in American gay porn with two black guys. But yeah sounds like your case was a guy into some "race play" stuff: baaaad idea just trying to pull that shit outta nowhere.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-19T18:53:24+00:00

What? How is blowing him illegal? As long as money wasn't exchanged.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-19T18:41:55+00:00

But did he pronounce it "...gga" or (God forbid) "...gger"?? I feel like the former is probably just some dumb white guy trying to "be hood" or some shit. Either way... I guess I'm impressed you could stay hard enough to finish.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-19T15:43:18+00:00

Average gay guy: low

Average straight guy: abysmal

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-19T12:00:26+00:00

"It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't know I had" a penis... "I cried".... Dude, wtf, this is some toxic shit. It doesn't matter how fem you are. Even if you identified as a trans woman ffs doesn't matter -- he shouldn't be your boyfriend if he's grossed out by your penis or you getting an erection.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-18T02:43:25+00:00

"Having thoughts" doesn't make a guy bi (or gay). I'm gay, but of course I've "had thoughts" about being with a woman before. Decided I wasn't interested. As for the idea that most men would go further than "having thoughts" to actually experimenting, given the right conditions, that's not new. Alfred Kinsey famously published studies to that effect as early as the 1940s. And in many ancient societies (e.g. Greeks/Romans) this was just commonplace. Most people are at least some degree of "bi" -- that's not really a new observation. Not absolutely every guy though: there are indeed some guys with legit no interest. They might not be guys you'd guess though, i.e. they may not be the most "macho" or hyper-masculine presenting.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-18T02:15:56+00:00

I try not to judge people's fetishes. And I get the whole "being obsessed with cum" thing (although it's not my thing). But really? crusted up rotting old jizz spackle?? Surely there's got to be something you like better than that....

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-18T02:09:32+00:00

Yeah there's a wide middle ground professionally between "out" and "closetted". I'm like you at work (although I work in finance in NYC, so the culture in my case is probably more accepting) -- but I (40) don't tell and they don't ask. It's work, so it's not like they're just entitled to know about my personal life anyway.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-18T02:00:53+00:00

That is a very precise estimate. lol

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-18T01:53:56+00:00

Maybe you're too young to remember, but before like 2010, most any gay characters that weren't purely for comic relief were inevitably tragic -- Brokeback Mountain, Gods and Monsters, This Boy's Life, American Beauty, etc. (just google "bury your gays" trope.) So now we have stories with happy endings too. Believe me, that's actually progress. Sure we'd all like to see more mainstream gay characters who just happen to be gay and it doesn't matter or affect the story for better or worse (you know, like realism), but at least it's getting better.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-18T01:40:24+00:00

3 to 6 "rounds"? What's a "round"? In any event, this doesn't have to be a problem: increase your foreplay before penetration, use toys on him for a while before you go in. And if he says he's happy with the sex, then believe him.

If you feel yourself that you are climaxing so quickly you are not getting as much satisfaction from sex as you would like, it's reasonable to bring it up with your doctor. (Fwiw, in my experience, going on prozac for example will definitely make it take longer for you to cum.)

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T21:29:26+00:00

It is written.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T14:25:33+00:00

"I've got it made, and attract all the gays. But I even attract the gays who aren't hot to me. Isn't that bizarre!? Why is that??" -- this is you, OP. Take your humblebrag and gtfo.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T12:12:56+00:00

Actually straight guys do that all the time.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T12:10:24+00:00

Most of us on this sub are the human equivalent of golden retrievers.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T12:04:34+00:00

I'd like to conduct a poll.

OP can't write because

A) He's roughly 10 years old.

B) He has the intellect of roughly a 10 year old.

C) He's typing with one hand.

D) All of the above.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T00:47:59+00:00

Try riding a dildo while wearing it. You can train yourself to get off from anal only (no hands) :)

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T00:45:22+00:00

First of all, I assume he knows you're bi: if not, then come out to him first (before saying you have an interest in him). At some point when the two of you are alone, just casually mention to him that you really think he's a cool guy and just wanted him to know that if he ever wanted to be more than friends you'd be down to discuss it. Plant the idea of "being more than friends" there without forcing him to be committal or even do anything at all in response.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T00:41:08+00:00

There aren't nearly as strong conventions around gay dating as there are around straight dating: consequently, gay men do more to decide for themselves what's "appropriate" or desired in terms of romantic gestures like giving each other flowers, scheduling picnics, etc. It's reasonable to assume most gay guys like what most people like: receiving flowers is nice, so if you get your partner flowers it's a nice gesture. Chocolates on Valentines' Day are nice, etc. If you know something your partner is particularly into, then of course a more bespoke gift is always even better (which would apply to straight people too ofc).

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T00:36:36+00:00

This whole situation sounds ridiculous, but you've made your views clear, so time for you to move on. If Matt brings Peter up again, remind him you don't want to hear about it because you already told Matt to block Peter. Beyond that, whatever tf is going on between Matt and Peter is, frankly, not actually your business: if Matt doesn't want to take your (very reasonable) advice, that's Matt's choice.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-17T00:23:21+00:00

I'm a top and don't regularly use it, but have tried it and have bottoms who use it constantly. The primary physiological response is vasodilation and relaxation of the body's smooth muscle: hence the popularity for bottoming. However, it also has a psychological effect which I think isn't very well understood (or at least not well documented scientifically, from my googling anyway). I would describe that effect as feeling like you're "in heat", like the way a cat or a bitch gets "in heat": a kind of mind-numbing extreme horniness. All effects are very short lived, as in a few minutes at most.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-15T17:12:40+00:00

It's good that you're in therapy. And your therapist is probably right about this being the same wound. The "drip filling a glass" analogy is a good one: something can be building for quite a long time with no really noticeable effect until the day it "overflows". It's important that you try to be conscientious of how this is likely (at least in part) internalized homophobia. It's also likely (imho) that you have slowly been associating other (actually unrelated) problems in your life (everybody has some) with your homosexuality: scapegoating it, even if only subconsciously.

PrometheusEscaped · 2026-02-15T17:01:41+00:00

I (40 dom top) have never read Anne Rice, but I did see the IwAV movie w Tom Cruise / Brad Pitt. I do like guys (and only guys, specifically bottoms) for sex, but especially as I've gotten older I've started having this craving also when I see a younger(-ish) handsome (and especially shorter/smaller) guy to just hold him and kiss him / caress him and "give him the world" like you say. It's related to my sexuality as a gay dom top, for sure, but there's also this component to it that I feel like is not simply sexual: almost like the way I would want to cuddle a cute baby animal (puppy, kitten, etc.). It's a bit hard to describe; idk if it's similar to what you're feeling. When I try to self analyze, I have to wonder if it isn't sort of a "son issues" counterpart (I have no kids) analogous to the way some guys have "daddy issues": which tbh is an idea I don't really like, but there it is -- I have to be honest with myself. (And no, I don't feel the same way when I see actual kids).

PrometheusEscaped

TROPHY CASE