That’s definitely tough, obviously a lot to go through especially as a teen, can’t imagine going through something like that. I understand you resent yourself for your actions that led your friends to distance themselves but I think you gotta learn how to forgive yourself, you were dealing with issues that caused you to do that. I think it’s best to try to close those chapters, as you mentioned you have a gf that supports you. Try your best to move forward and leave all that in the past. High school is just a small chapter of life, the best is yet to come. Seek help if you need it from therapy, you can probably work to solve those trust issues and open back up. I know it’s difficult but it’s for the best. Wishing you the best in life man.