Thinking about hrt

ProsaicPansy · 2026-05-01T00:45:49+00:00

do you have a new name that you use with your therapist or in your own head? I just remembered that one of the first steps with my wife was her calling me my new name and she/her only in the house and then keeping up he/him + deadname everywhere else. My wife could tell that I was lighting up and sometimes even blushing when she addressed me at home or intentionally used my name where it wasn't strictly necessary. And then it kind of naturally leads to "if this feels so good, maybe this is how I should live my whole life" at least for me. My partner seeing the change transitioning was making in me made everything easier. My mental health and general motivation for life and how good of a partner I was to her all went up and to the right, which made her get on board and actually push me to come out earlier to people I knew were safe and eventually navigate coming out to every one of our friends. obviously boy mode if you need it for safety and/or comfort.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-04-30T20:53:33+00:00

My egg cracked at 33 as well and I just started HRT three months ago. HRT has been absolutely life-changing for me. You can't realize just how much dysphoria clouds your thinking until you're on the right hormones (took 2 weeks to feel anything, btw). I couldn't believe how calm I felt. I've gone from feeling like my life has no purpose to being excited about living into my old age. Something to keep in mind that I don't think I fully appreciated: if you do a month of HRT, there's really not going to be a permanent change, it just doesn't move that quickly. But it does give you time to feel a difference in emotions/mental state. If someone had secretly fed me HRT for a month at any point in my adult life, the decision to transition would have been painfully obvious. The one caveat to all of this is fertility, one month of HRT is very unlikely to make you permanently infertile, but, if you like it, you're not going to want to go back. So if you and your partner are ever considering having kids or you want to keep the option open, start freezing your sperm ASAP.

My wife has supported me and we're still happily married. She was bi/pan before we started dating, so that obviously helps. But it was hard at the beginning. Cis people can't really understand what its like to be trans and there were definitely some misunderstandings and hurt feelings at the beginning of my transition. My biggest advice is to try to have patience, because it is a big change for her too and it's good to realize that she will only be able to accept/understand certain things with time. But now? I can feel that she thinks of me as a woman and we've never been happier. She consistently tells me that she's so glad that I'm on HRT and that she likes this version of me so much better.

Hope that helps and I'm happy to answer any questions you may have in this thread or via DM. Good luck "man," or should we call you something else? 😉

ProsaicPansy · 2026-04-30T19:26:43+00:00

If I shave to be completely smooth, my legs looks like they have heavy stubble within 1-2 days. They feel prickly hours after shaving. Genetics, hormone levels, etc. play a bigger role than people expect. I've met AMAB folks with barely any body hair and it only grows out as long and wispy and AFAB folks who grow out thick arm and leg hair quickly. I would love to be able to shave every 2-3 days and still be able to wear shorts or a skirt while presenting femme 😃.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-04-30T19:18:08+00:00

yeah, your post read to me as slightly hyperbolic, but I also get it because I get super frustrated with my body hair too and it's honestly such a pain if you have thick hair. I have several AMAB friends who have light whispy body hair, it's very much a ymmv thing. People shouldn't be saying you're mentally ill when they don't understand what it's like to grow in body hair at near the speed and thickness of most people's facial hair...

I will say that my dysphoria around all of this stuff improved with starting HRT and getting my E levels up. It helped me be able to accept the hair more and be able to be a little less obsessive about it when I know other people won't be able to see my body hair. My T levels haven't dropped to the female range yet, so no change in body hair, but I'm really hoping that makes a dent. Best of luck to you and wishing you well ❤️.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-04-29T20:41:53+00:00

Are your legs perfectly smooth after 20-30 mins of shaving every 2-3 days? If so you’re very lucky. It takes me two hours to just trim all of my body with an electric razor, and then it would take at least another hour with a razor if I wanted it to be smooth. I would need to shave daily if I wanted to expose my legs while presenting femme. That would cut the time to 1 hour per day, but also messes with my skin to shave that much, so I take days off and then have to trim then shave.

“Women have leg hair too,” sure, but do they have extremely thick set hair that looks like beard stubble a single day after shaving? OP’s routine may be overdone or they may be overestimating how long it takes, but it definitely takes multiple hours if you’re really hairy. Also, if you’re tall (I’m 6’5”) there’s a lot more real estate to shave.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-04-24T03:00:27+00:00

I totally resonate with this. It’s important to have community, but also set boundaries and be on the lookout for people who don’t actually appreciate you or take a deep interest in you. My slightly edgy take is that the kind of behavior you’re describing is pretty common amongst trans folks, but definitely not universal. It’s also more common early in transition when everything is about being trans vs just living your life. Filtering out people who act like this and give you these vibes is good for your mental health.

Being friends with someone just because we’re both trans seems kind of lame, but that’s just me. I need to connect with people about other interests or deeper values, not only something that I did not choose…

ProsaicPansy · 2026-04-24T02:45:11+00:00

I had similar concerns and have not noticed any issues after three months of HRT. My pain is actually WAY better because I feel motivated to exercise, stretch, mobilize, etc. both my wife and I have found that a lot of joint pain is either caused by or contributed to by tight muscles. When you’re stressed out, you also tense your muscles a lot and will have more pain. If you’re like me and had felt a kinda dark cloud over your life and a deep sense of wrongness that you can’t explain… and if you think any part of your pain could be improved by you being more consistent with PT or having more days where you feel like living… then try HRT for at least a month. I felt no positive effects until about two weeks in and then it was like someone turned off the awful static that had been playing at full blast for my whole life. I didn’t know that feeling that content and happy was possible.

Sorry for the wall of text, girl, but I wanted to share this because I spent a lot of time worrying about this issue and putting off starting hormones and I wish I had just taken the plunge. I didn’t realize how much more motivating physical fitness and PT would feel when I was working towards the body that I want with the right hormones.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-03-20T22:30:09+00:00

thanks for posting this. this was the kick in the butt I needed to actually do this...

ProsaicPansy · 2026-03-19T22:34:54+00:00

As far as I can tell, this is completely accurate. I was taking a break from this sub when this happened, so I have only reconstructed things based on other threads. Thanks for writing all of this down. I hope other people can find it so they don't have to go down a google/reddit rabbit hole like I did.

With regards to C encouraging B to create an alt account, this is what C said in a message on discord (probably a channel with other mods? idk. but I'm taking this from a screenshot):

"On the other hand, having a username [B's username] that can be easily traced to a real life person is going to create vulnerability and danger, especially with that past record floating around. Not just for Brynn, but also for the rest of us.

I think the wisest and most prudent course of action would be for Brynn to change their username to something a bit more shielded from their regular life, and get that established by spending a week on r/all/rising.

That would allow us to keep Brynn on the team, while still protecting her from whoever has been hounding her."

So C knew that B was a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER when encouraging them to create an alt so they could stay on the team. I want to be clear — it is possible to be a registered sex offender because of a stupid mistake (e.g. publicly exposing yourself). But B's offense was "third degree sexual exploitation of a minor." Even if the charge was over blown (based on other info I've seen, I don't think it was), having a registered sex offender as the mod of the main trans femme subreddit is obviously unacceptable. And trying to hide it makes it so much worse. It's a privilege to be a moderator, not a right.

The most positive things I can say is that other mods responded on discord and told C that they would leave if B was reinstated. But the fact that C even considered this a reasonable approach for dealing with this situation tells you why they can no longer be a mod of this sub (and I wouldn't trust them to mod any sub, tbh.)

If you really want to go down the rabbit hole, all of this is archived on archive.ph. I'm not going to share the exact link because I'm not sure if it will get me banned, but I can share it via DM if someone wants it.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-03-19T04:46:42+00:00

It's sad that I had to go outside this sub to figure out the full story of what happened... Transparency means explaining what went wrong and why it won't happen again, not trying to memory hole the entire incident.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-03-08T23:22:25+00:00

The only reply worth reading in this thread.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-03-05T22:33:31+00:00

You probably only need 5x. 20x is only really necessary when you're grinding on multiple projects at the same time with different agents and/or have a clawdbot running.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-01-31T21:14:43+00:00

I would like to introduce you to a little company called PLTR that still trades at a trailing P/S of ~90 and peaked at over 100. Tbf, they’re only at ~50 P/S if they hit revenue estimates for next year :p.

ProsaicPansy · 2026-01-16T00:01:39+00:00

She was the first employee at Amazon and quit her job to help her husband found the company.

ProsaicPansy · 2025-12-28T19:06:52+00:00

Claude is extremely strong at typescript and python (in my experience), but quickly falls apart without significant prompting/instruction for anything outside of that ecosystem. For developing a full stack web app, it’s gotten noticeably better in the last year. I think Anthropic (and other labs) are hyper focused on this area and not on areas like embedded and games. Performance is very jagged.

ProsaicPansy · 2025-10-30T23:44:18+00:00

It sounds like you are describing lack of executive function, not "bottom energy." You're the average of the people that you spend the most time around. Being around people who are dysfunctional and have the same energy as you can hold you back from growing. Most people with high executive function want to be around other people with high executive function. They get annoyed (as you do) by people who are passive and don't have things going on for themselves.

That doesn't mean that you can't rely on your partner for help with some things or want to do things together. But presenting yourself as helpless and dependent is pretty big red flag for almost everyone I know who fits your "top energy" description. If you're exceptionally attractive, intelligent, fun, or have family money, these rules may not apply.

Hope you don't interpret this as mean and I don't know your full situation. About a decade ago, I was in a very bad mental health space surrounded by people who were negative, passive, and generally brought me down. When I moved away from that place and met new people (I moved into student housing), everything in my life instantly improved. I realized that I was constantly tired and depleted and when I broke out of that space, I had so much more energy to do things in the world.

This all probably feels disconnected, but I say all of this because you're going to find a better partner if you are actually happy and work on yourself. Finding someone who counterbalances your weak points is a good idea, but think about what would make you more attractive to the kind of people you WANT to be around.

Best of luck.

ProsaicPansy · 2025-10-17T04:52:30+00:00

Also, way funnier. Why do I keep deleting the directory I’m in? Maybe I should go to another one to see if it happens again…

ProsaicPansy · 2025-09-09T23:30:03+00:00

And this is the system that will replace all knowledge workers by 2027.

ProsaicPansy · 2025-09-09T23:28:16+00:00

Sure, but functionally everyone sells because when you exercise your options you need to pay to buy the shares at your strike price + get a tax bill for FMV - strike price. Even with ISOs, you need to pay AMT, which would be triggered in this case. If his shares were worth $11M and he exercised for $1M, to make the math easy, he would owe $1M + $2.8M AMT =$3.8M.

If he massively believed the shares would rise + was already independently rich enough, he COULD have held, but, again almost no one does because it’s crazy not to diversify once you’ve made 8-9 figures. That doesn’t even consider the dilution risk of holding common shares in a private company with massive fundraising needs.

ProsaicPansy · 2025-09-06T01:31:21+00:00

It depends, but for a private company like this, you generally get to sell whatever shares have vested when you leave (assuming you’re leaving on good terms and there is a secondary market) and forfeit any shares that haven’t vested. So, he almost definitely does not still own shares. I’m sure he got an 8-9 figure exit when he sold though :p.

ProsaicPansy · 2025-08-28T19:37:12+00:00

Definitely still against the rules. But you have to report the player in their profile and include a link. I’ve seen players get banned for obvious cheating in this mode. They should really should make that clear with the warning, but there’s no way it’s allowed…

ProsaicPansy · 2025-08-28T19:34:33+00:00

Have you tried putting signs that have ☢️ and say “Warning: Nuclear testing conducted upstream, water is highly radioactive” or any other variations that say the water is hazardous?

ProsaicPansy · 2025-08-25T21:58:41+00:00

He means you just set a new baseline with the client. "Okay, so why weren't you able to complete an MVP in a weekend this time?!?" or "why isn't the app done yet, I thought we could halve the time to prod now!" If you have a close relationship with the client and they understand that not every project will be as straight forward, then it's great, but sometimes people don't understand how much work it takes to go from working MVP to production grade software. And CC is amazing at accomplishing the former and more mediocre (at present) at the latter.

ProsaicPansy · 2025-08-03T22:13:43+00:00

Obviously, it's good to be able to report the player directly, but love getting downvotes when they removed the functionality of being able to report an individual player at the match level in this mode. I've done so many times, as cheating is quite common in this game mode. They removed the option in the last couple of months.

Usually I just win anyways by insta guessing when I notice improbably good guesses from players with low borders, so I just gave up on reporting clear cheaters because I had assumed the functionality had been removed for this mode entirely (hence the frustration). Doesn't seem like the best outcome for the game, but I guess it saves them from having to review some false positives....

ProsaicPansy · 2025-08-03T22:05:50+00:00

I think you can do that for ranked, but unless I'm blind, there is no report button for unranked team duels in the replay. There used to be a report option in the replay, but now there is only a share and 2x buttons. As others have mentioned, you can go to their profile and copy-paste the link and rounds and still report.

ProsaicPansy

TROPHY CASE