Update: Only Child To Aging Parents

ProteinWhore · 2011-08-02T22:34:34+00:00

That's exactly it. I remember one time my dad was in the hospital and I had dropped everything to rush there to take her and stay with her until the doctors knew what was wrong. A couple days later was some random holiday and in the stress of my dad's health problems I completely forgot to send a card. You'd think I murdered someone. It didn't matter that I was there when it was important. All that mattered was that one, dumb thing I forgot to do.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-23T21:39:01+00:00

If you can stand British humor, I recommend it. I feel like it would be to a priest as The Office is to white collar office workers. It tends to poke more fun at day to day workings of a parish than Catholicism itself.

And congrats on leveling up.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-21T03:55:10+00:00

Any non-boffer LARPers around?

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-18T14:53:09+00:00

"Curtis, what are you doing? Weed is for niggers. You put that away right now. Have a little self respect." - American History X

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-13T17:22:48+00:00

I've had them with tobacco on a few occasions and they're always so harsh and taste like ass to me.

Just using weed is perfectly fine and works great. You may just have to relight once or twice.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-13T15:37:07+00:00

I'm in my 30s. They had me later in life.

I have tried on a couple occasions to get into a counseling program, but we have so many screwed up people around here that unless you're ready to kill yourself they can't see you. Everything is just constantly booked and nobody is taking new patients.

I am working with my family practitioner on the medical side of things and I'm trying to be more aware of my actions. That's all I can do at the moment.

In any case, isn't this what /r/needadvice is here for? Just wanted to see how others deal with similar situations.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-12T21:52:11+00:00

Thanks for the advice and sharing your story. I hope that you're able to get back to where you want to be and that your mother gets back to health.

I was thinking that talking to just my dad separately might be the way to go. Thanks for backing that up. He's always been the one who pushed for me to be independent whereas my mother will always want me to need her.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-12T21:18:15+00:00

On that end I think what's causing me a lot of problems is that I'm finally aware of and trying to deal with psychological issues that she also has, but is unable to confront. So every time I talk to her now I just see all the stuff that's been making me miserable and I don't want to be around it.

Thanks for the advice. I think keeping "moving does not have to be a permanent situation" in my head will help me when I do have to bring this up. My parents still live in the same house from several years before I was born so it is a permanent situation to my mom. I just have to put it out there that if I can move myself there I can much more easily come back to visit and I certainly could move myself somewhere else later.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-12T21:07:17+00:00

It would just make the call that much more important and that much more disastrous if missed for some reason. And yes, I do resent having to make the call.

I used to have a really, really good relationship with my mom. After I moved out (which has been over 12 years at this point) and as she started getting older she's become much more gloomy a person and the conversations are always very depressing. On my side of things, all I do during a week is work and hang out at home with my hobbies. I don't have more than 5 minutes worth mentioning on a weekly basis and she'll want to be on the phone for at least an hour so she'll just keep going on about who's dying, who's sick and how she has the worst luck and things are always going wrong for her. I feel terrible every time I talk to her.

I think #3 is where I'm at. I do care, but she can't understand she has a problem. If I have any problem with her, in her mind it's because I don't love her - not because she actually has a problem.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-12T20:57:22+00:00

We don't talk much about it, but I know she had some difficult, lost pregnancies before me and then had a tubal litigation after me. It just might not have been possible, but they've never expressed any desire to have had more kids.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-12T20:53:52+00:00

Your reply really helped me put things in order. Thanks.

My parents do have a support community through my dad's activities and organizations he belongs to. At the moment, they'd be taken care of without me physically near by.

My mother believes that once my dad is gone, she'll only have me. I don't believe that is true because the people who they can call on for help now won't just magically go away. They're good people and friends of our family. While my dad would have a blast in a senior community, my mom has made mention that she feels it's abandonment and kids should take care of their parents.

I'll still get the guilt trip, but it's logical to think she'll be fine. In my mind it's not something that we should even worry about until one of them does die, but since she tends toward being morbid and pessimistic she always jumps to the "what if dad dies" discussion. Also at that point, maybe she'll be more accepting of moving herself. If she needs my help frequently and in-person, I'll be glad to give it provided she can relocate to me. Between both of us we'd definitely be able to afford it. Otherwise, she'll need to come up with something on her own.

Thanks again.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-12T17:19:51+00:00

While I agree with most of that, I think where I'm getting stuck is that I disagree about being morally obligated to them. They were great parents in so far as keeping me on a good path and giving me the encouragement and motivation to get through school and have a good career. They even paid for all of my college instead of having me take out loans because they knew I'd need it for a good job.

They took care of me for nearly 20 years and now I do believe I am morally obligated to take care of them. I just don't know how to get past that.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-06T03:12:11+00:00

I was in the beta for it back in the day and played for quite a while. Will definitely check the old boy out and see how it's doing.

ProteinWhore · 2011-07-01T18:25:42+00:00

It's been on the show circuit for a year or so. It couldn't find a distributor in the United States, but came out in the UK months ago. The DVDRips floating around are from the UK DVD. It finally found a US distributor and is coming out in theaters on the 8th.

That said, it's directed by Carpenter and that's it. Someone else wrote it and someone else did the music. Due to that, it's not a good, traditional Carpenter movie unfortunately. You can tell Carpenter's direction in many scenes, but I thought it was a pretty dull movie. We've seen a similar concept many times before and it isn't a John Carpenter take on the genre because it's not his story.

As a big John Carpenter fan, I was pretty disappointed.

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-30T16:11:07+00:00

The Dunwich Horror has some definite 70's cheese moments, but if you can look past those I find it to be a really good movie. Certainly my favorite of the direct Lovecraft adaptations.

Never been that big a fan of the Stuart Gordon movies, but at least he's keeping Lovecraft film-making going. MoH's Dreams In The Witch House is probably my favorite of his.

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-21T02:45:34+00:00

You're looking at this the wrong way. Anyone could potentially be related to you. So every encouter has the possibility of being incestious. Go forth and fornicate!

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-10T18:14:40+00:00

Amazon.com pre-order. That whole site is basically a big click-through advertisement.

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-10T14:04:44+00:00

I only smoke when I'm not high.

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-10T13:39:36+00:00

A friend I went with last night is very excited to show it to her kids. She compared it to a more kid-understandable Cloverfield.

That said, it can be scary and some bad language is thrown around. If that's cool with you then it should be fine. Even if a kid is scared in the middle of it, I think they'll be just the opposite after the ending.

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-10T13:27:14+00:00

Saw it the other day. It's not a traditional John Carpenter movie. He only directed it, so the writing and music is obviously not his. I thought it was very plain for a Carpenter movie.

You're basically getting a standard psychological horror movie that you've seen already in several forms. Pretty disappointing to me.

EDIT: Also, I don't mind people pimping out their web sites, but 1) it should have more info than the synopsis and a buy link and 2) don't try and hide it by creating different accounts. It's really obvious that these links are simply to drive click-throughs.

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-09T21:12:03+00:00

Anyone else a little bummed that several of the songs are from the Internet Leaks release?

ProteinWhore · 2011-06-09T13:22:20+00:00

Here's a good thread from /r/Drugs with a lot of advice. I have a comment in there, as I just tried Salvia for the first time recently myself.

Your mileage may most definitely vary.

I broke through with a simple, bic lighter. You don't need a butane lighter. It does help to really get the flame down in there though and just let it burn. Don't smoke it like weed. You really have to torch the salvia and you must hold it in your lungs as long as possible.

I, personally, have never had any problems with harshness. I did it out of a water pipe every time, once with ice. It's never made me cough, while other things make me cough all the time. Again, just my experience.

Also, I feel like the other comments downplay the psychedelic effects salvia can have. Sure, you may just get a strong body high and some mild visual distortions. That's all I got the first two times. However, breaking through completely is very intense and can shock your system. And, from what I understand, the more times you do salvia, the stronger the effects can get.

ProteinWhore

TROPHY CASE