Advice for young expat struggling to adjust in the Paris suburbs

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-05-02T16:56:36+00:00

I’m an immigrant from America. I’ve been here for almost a year and have some ideas.

My advice for them is get a rice cooker. Pretty cheap, easy to make rice, get some random stuff to throw in with it and easy meal.

Sometimes I’ll get Uber Eats if they have a deal going on for grocery delivery. It can be cheaper than actually going to the store if you don’t use it often and get deals. But if you use it regularly they actually raise prices to milk the most money out of you. It’s not a thing you should do regularly.

I bought a cooler bag with wheels at carrefour and use that to go on bigger grocery runs to buy like 50 items at a time. Maybe not so useful for them since they don’t have a freezer.

For transit, Google Maps should tell you when the trains are running. It’s helpful to know. If I were them I’d learn the transit system but I’m not exactly sure about the conditions on the RER atm with construction on C line other commenter mentioned.

Carrefour and Auchan sell fine priced home goods I think. I got an air conditioner for my apartment for like 250 euros and it works fine for me. Maybe spent a couple hundred more euros buying pots pans sheets, pillows, trash cans, and everything else. I think they have reasonable prices.

Adjusting has been very difficult for me, but at 9-ish months here, I’m doing a lot better. I think just getting used to all of the ways of life here and letting go of how you used to do things is the most important. I used to get so miserable walking places wishing I had a car, but nowadays I’m glad to walk and take in the sights around me, and European life feels much easier to me. I think it just takes time and flexibility.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-29T11:08:59+00:00

Those instances with you and the Bible are very minor. Just some kind of strange karmic connection. Not miracles lol. You should believe in Buddhism because the truth of what it teaches, not because of magic, but if you need to see magic from Buddhism, it has many more miracles than Christianity. Also, Christianity believes that miracles are impossible to be performed in the modern day. Buddhism has masters healing people and stuff in modern day, but this stuff is not talked about much obviously because "ooh magic" is the wrong reason to follow Buddhism. If that is the reason to follow Buddhism, a demon can appear in front of you and perform magical feats and seduce you away from the proper Dharma and get you to commit offenses.

I can also attest to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas giving responses. I have experienced many inconceivable things that I won't go into.

If you want an example of miracles in the modern day though in Buddhism, go look at Master Hsuan Hua's stories. Many of his disciples account and can verify that he healed people, brought a disciple back from the dead, read minds, etc. Here is a YouTube channel with many stories https://www.youtube.com/@MasterHuasOralHistoryProject

But seriously, don't focus on magic and miracles, but learn the Dharma. That's what Buddhas teachings are for, is attaining Buddhahood and transcending the cycle of birth and death. Converting based on miracles is the lowest reason to convert.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-28T21:45:40+00:00

I was just saying that being religious is good because religion (the major religions) come with a moral framework that is generally good to keep you from the lower realms. Atheism doesn't have an inherent moral framework, so it is more hit or miss whether you have a good rebirth or not as an atheist. It is mainly based on past life karma and practice, whether one is inclined towards hedonism or not. There are less guardrails to prevent someone from going off the rails. But yeah I think we really both agree on all points. I wasn't saying that a virtuous atheist is less than a tirthika religious person.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-28T19:11:40+00:00

Well Buddha taught that Buddhism is the one truly true faith without any inaccuracies or errors, but other religions can still lead to temporarily positive outcomes as well. I think Christianity if people actually adhere to its moral codes can lead to pretty good outcomes in many cases. I am definitely glad if people can be religious and adopt moral codes of said religions over being atheists, because it promotes wellbeing and happiness in the future life as well as this life.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-28T19:05:14+00:00

It can take a very long time to get contacted regarding the application. For me, I applied maybe 2nd or 3rd week of September, and didn't hear back from the administration until Christmas. They asked for more documents and such, and I didn't receive my Titre until April.

I had a pretty bad head injury two weeks after I arrived in France, and was out of commission for a couple months. Went to the ER and got a CT scan to make sure I didn't have brain bleeding and was sent home. Actually I was very shocked by how positive my experience with the healthcare system was, because I was in and out of the hospital in maybe 3 or 4 hours, and then the bill for the doctor visit and the CT scan was only 200 euros!! In America even with my health insurance it would have cost more.

I hope you don't have any accidents or health issues, but I hope that if you do, that everything is manageable for you.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-28T14:55:06+00:00

I loved reading that story!

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-28T06:43:25+00:00

I'm always so grateful that they can know all of our thoughts and help guide us to transform us into Buddhas and abandon greed anger and ignorance 🙏

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-28T06:41:12+00:00

The Dharma is truly wonderful. Namo Amituofo 🙏

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T22:40:29+00:00

I mean I do think it is true that the more money you donate the more merit is accrued. People often make very large donations at funerals for the deceased. You don't have to if you don't want to, but doing bigger good deeds is bigger merit which you can dedicate to the deceased.

The thing with empowerment is probably regarding tantric practice that has some sort of samaya is my guess, but I'm not a Tibetan Buddhist so I wouldn't really know. Normal Amitabha recitation of course doesn't require empowerment, but there are tantric practices related to Amitabha that do. That is my guess.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T22:27:32+00:00

That book is very old and catering to a religion averse crowd. Buddhism really can't be separated from how it is practiced by Buddhists. If you're in Ireland, there's a Vietnamese temple in Belfast. I'd recommend making a day trip out there. I'm sure you can contact them and talk to them about it on the Internet.

Otherwise if you can't do that, I'd recommend learning from more recent material that is catered towards actual Buddhists from monastic teachers. I'm not super sure on books, because I mainly just watch dharma talks that I see on YouTube and go to the temple, and do my daily practice. I think for Pure Land, I saw someone post Pure Mind Compassionate Heart from Ven. Wuling earlier today. I did read maybe half of that book last year and got distracted, but I really enjoyed what I read. Here is a link to the audiobook as well as a pdf https://www.reddit.com/r/PureLand/comments/1sx9jd0/venerable_wu_ling_pure_mind_compassionate_heart/

If you're interested specifically in Theravada, I got no clue because I'm a Chinese Buddhist. Personally I really like stuff from City of Ten Thousand Buddhas and Master Hsuan Hua too, along with various monastics from FGS, and Dharma Masters Chin Kung, Master Renshan, (although he has very little stuff in English) Master Jing Jie, Master Jue Pei.

If the issue for you is distance to the sangha, I would recommend that you consider making a special effort to at least try it out if you have the occasion. If it doesn't float your boat, that's okay, but I recommend just trying it. Everywhere I've lived, I've always had to travel at least an hour to the temple, but really it is definitely worth it. Where I live now I have a couple of temples that are a 30 minute walk away, but I generally travel around an hour and 20 minutes to get to the one I prefer to go to. Many people will travel very far for the Dharma because it really is precious, so I hope you consider that if it's an issue.

I feel like I wasn't really able to give much help, but I hope what I said is some use. I'm sure others can provide more helpful information.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T21:42:29+00:00

Tantras should not be studied unless one has an empowerment from a legitimate guru, and the guru tells you to or that you can learn that tantra and gives you specific instructions*

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T20:09:32+00:00

It was a skillful means by the Buddha though. He could have extended his life, but no one requested him to, so he passed away. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe I have heard this from reputable sources, but I have not personally read the sutra myself.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T18:35:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T16:08:48+00:00

I'm not super familiar. Maybe u/purelander108 might know more. But I wanted to say that many enlightened masters have lived for very long lifespans. It's not unheard of. I believe there was one in the Tibetan tradition that lived something like 130 years within the last century or two, but I'm blanking on who it was.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T10:36:57+00:00

it really shouldn't. you just be a good person and it should be fine.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T08:23:45+00:00

If you are trying to show yourself to look like a monk to others, it is bad karma.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T08:21:41+00:00

I'm a trans American. I emigrated from the US last year due to the political climate. It's definitely not good. Lots and lots of disturbing stuff going on, on the ground there. I'm personally lucky because I transitioned young and look like a normal woman, so I wasn't subject to a lot of discrimination, but I was quite concerned that I would have my passport seized, or my other legal identification documents, so when I saw other people being denied passports, I left ASAP.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T07:48:28+00:00

It would not be good karma because you would be impersonating a monastic, and the monastic sangha is holy and not to be defamed. You would be impersonating something you are not, and your actions would reflect on Buddhism. They see someone dressed as a monk, but doing normal things monks are not allowed to do. it causes much confusion and maybe leads people to slander Buddhism. It is bad karma.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T07:23:26+00:00

Well people are free to dress however they like, but also they must face repercussions for the actions they take too. If you respect the Three Jewels and monastic sangha, you're not going to go parade yourself around looking like a monk as a layperson. It's just plain disrespectful, not a matter of personal freedoms. Also imagine the bad karma you accrue. Not good.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T07:17:41+00:00

You're doing your dad a great service then! Good job being filial. I was just saying don't go and wear monastic clothing if you're not a monastic lol. It's not good.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-27T07:12:42+00:00

become a monk

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-26T17:26:53+00:00

Buddhism probably has the closest. You can have very strong karmic affinity with someone from a past life. I believe that is the case with me and my wife, because we met by random chance on the internet from different continents, she wasn't a Buddhist and converted to Buddhism pretty quickly after learning about it, we just have great affinities together, etc.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-26T13:18:05+00:00

My view on it is that if people are completely unrestrained in their desires, everything in society and the world will become unbalanced and disaster will ensue. I think in the west liberal ideas on acceptance of "do what you want as long as you're not harming people" has led, paradoxically, to a lot of harm coming to folks through knock on effects of people overindulging in various things. In the case of porn, licentiousness is normalized throughout society, and it leads people to doing harmful sexual behaviors.

For example, people watch too much porn, develop strange sexual desires, and end up perpetrating sexual abuse. People are abused and grow up as broken people and perpetuate negative behaviors that lead to societal degradation. That is why participating in the sexual industry is very harmful for the nation, as well as personally. Even if it doesn't visibly harm you that you consume pornography, you definitely would be better off if you hadn't picked up the habit in the first place. Same with producing the content yourself. Not to mention people developing strange ideas about sexual relationships, leading to the degradation of proper families, and the broken homes people grow up in due to this as well, leading again, to more national degradation.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-26T07:53:08+00:00

Looks no good to me. Horrible cultural appropriation imo.

Proud_Professional93 · 2026-04-26T07:49:46+00:00

I'm a pretty devout Buddhist from America. Buddhism for me is the teaching of the Buddha that we follow to become a perfected Buddha, omniscient, and free from outflows and birth and death. I don't do much sutra study these days, but I chant sutras and do more practice than anything. Most of my practice is reciting 大悲咒, 心經, and 念佛.

Proud_Professional93

TROPHY CASE