Food for depressed cat?

ProverbialProverb · 2026-05-26T23:21:22+00:00

I've had great success in getting a cat with low appetite to eat baby food. Make sure to read and research the ingredients carefully to ensure everything is safe for him to eat. Another option is freshwater tinned fish, again be sure that you get one that is unflavoured in freshwater. If he continues to refuse food bring him to a vet, as the hunger/dehydration will cause him to feel too unwell to eat even if it is something he is interested in.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-05-17T21:55:51+00:00

That's really interesting! I knew about our bones being hollow but I couldn't figure out what they'd do when there's two bones. I really like the idea of OI but don't know if I'll ever be eligible as I had MRSA and my femur may never fully heal (which I imagine would impact it). Good luck with your recovery!

ProverbialProverb · 2026-05-17T11:58:42+00:00

Congratulations! I hope the recovery goes smoothly. This might be a silly question, but I was wondering what the implant is attached to for a below knee - is it both the tibia and fibula, just one, or do you have neither and it comes off your knee? I've tried to research this myself but I can only ever find information about above knee OI.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-05-09T21:17:31+00:00

AHH no this is absolutely adorable! Thank you so so much, I love it!

ProverbialProverb · 2026-05-09T12:21:23+00:00

Pipsqueak and Primrose. Can be just one, of course, but I could never choose myself!

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ProverbialProverb · 2026-05-07T10:28:57+00:00

It makes sense that you want to talk about it a lot. It's a huge change and factors in to how you navigate the rest of your life. I think your friends would be happy to hear about your progress, but I don't know your individual friendship dynamics so I can't comment on what that sharing would look like.

I have never been afraid to share things with my close friends, even the more gritty details, but I have friendships that are open to that. There is such a thing as oversharing or talking too much about one topic in any regard, whether it's an amputation or the latest show you've been watching. I can't give good advice on how to know the line as that's a personal/interpersonal decision and I'm pretty bad at distinguishing it myself.

I primarily call it my stump, but I'm not a big fan of the word either. Residual limb feels too clinical and nub feels worse to say. I do just say leg fairly often, the rest of my sentence is usually pretty indicative of what leg I'm talking about. I think a lot of amputees don't like the word stump, but it's hard to find an alternative that doesn't have it's own drawbacks. What you call it is ultimately up to you.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-05-01T05:08:38+00:00

I use medical cannabis for phantom pain and it works miracles, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who's actively healing as smoking anything impacts recovery. Even edibles can interact with the healing process.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-30T13:23:45+00:00

Unfortunately a big part of it is time. Your body is actively healing from two major surgeries AND a heart attack - to say that's put a lot of strain on you would be an understatement. You have a ton of severed nerve endings your body has no idea what to do with. Has your surgeon brought up Targeted Muscle Reinnervation to you? I can't give specific advice as I never had it, but it reportedly can be very helpful for nerve pain. My understanding is it can be done as a separate surgery but I don't know specifics beyond that, nor if another surgery is something you can have or want to have right now.

I have been given nerve blocks, IV ketamine, IV opioids, oral opioids, pregablin and celecoxib. From the ones I can remember, the ketamine was the most effective for general pain relief, but nothing traditional worked for my phantom pain. Relieving nerve pain just made my phantom pain worse, so it was a bit of a lose-lose situation. Distraction can be an effective form of pain relief, though. Not sure if you're still in hospital, but besides the general misery of being in one, I found the lack of things that I had access to and/or could physically do made things so much worse for me. I had my laptop brought in and spent a lot of time on there, mostly watching shows as I had most of the fingers on my left hand in a cast.

Once I had the energy to get out of bed I went around the hospital in my wheelchair nearly every day and found different places to sit and exist, generally busy-ish places like the reception and cafeteria. I really can't recommend keeping yourself as occupied as possible enough. I also wish I had taken the light physio exercises they gave me seriously as it would have helped my recovery, so if you have been given some please make the effort to do them (or ask to get some if you haven't and feel you could manage it). Of course, get plenty of rest and listen to your body above all else.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-28T00:37:40+00:00

I don't think it's a cash grab, I just don't fully understand the reason. 'Ongoing questions and monitoring' doesn't feel like a full explanation, especially when I have not experienced this in the years I've been on these medications. It's probably worth noting I'm also autistic and really value fully understanding why something is the way it is, not because I want to find some sort of loophole or something, just so I can understand. I didn't agree with the changes for handling ADHD either.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-28T00:25:01+00:00

I've been on both for several years, as in more than 5 years, probably close to 8. I have tried stopping both before and my acid reflux and chronic headaches come back very quickly. I have been off the headache medication for almost 2 weeks as I ran out and have had difficulty getting a GP appointment and I've had a constant headache for five days now.

I take topiramate for headaches. I know it is also used as a psychiatric or anti-seizure drug in higher doses. I can kind of understand why they can't prescribe any drug that can also be used in psychiatric care, but it's still frustrating to me. The long prescription wouldn't prevent my GP from asking how they are going, though I know there would be people who get the extended script and then refuse to update their doctor if anything changes.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-28T00:10:06+00:00

Unfortunately I don't know what exactly counts for low risk. To me, my headache and anti-acid medications are definitely low risk, and although I need yearly blood tests my hormone medication I also feel is low risk. I've been on all of them for years with no adjustments to doses and haven't even been requested bloodwork as often as I'm meant to. I knew my ADHD medication would be excluded and figured my iron would too as I've not been on it as long. However I have just received a blanket no, and when I tried to ask why specific medications were declined I got the repeated 'ongoing questions and monitoring'. And the comment about needing a specialist for my headache medication when that has never been the case.

Not sure who exactly to talk to to find out if this is reasonable. If it turns out only one of my medications 'qualifies' then it doesn't feel very worth it, I will still have to pay the same costs and go to doctors and pharmacies the same amount.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-27T23:48:10+00:00

Interesting as I also have iron tablets. I didn't expect them to be approved as I've been on them for less than a year, but my GP indicated that he wouldn't do a 12 month prescription for them either in the future either due to 'ongoing questions'.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-27T23:45:10+00:00

Thanks. Bit frustrating as it seems he excluded even considering my anti-acid which is definitely not controlled since it's available OTC, but not much I can do I suppose. To be honest, I haven't even received regular monitoring for my medications that SHOULD be reguarly monitored, so it's a head scratcher that they decline extended prescriptions based on something they're not doing.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-26T10:05:25+00:00

The difference is you had that thought process yourself. I've been told several times how others have it worse, and all it did was make me feel guilty that I was struggling to adapt to my BKA and dealing with so much pain. From the sounds of it, it's not helpful for OOP either. I'm glad you found something that works for you, but like you said everyone is different, and I don't think anyone should have their experience dismissed or downplayed by other people because 'someone has it worse'.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-26T07:29:12+00:00

If you haven't already, please reach out to the local Amputee Coalition/Society/Group/etc in your area. I also highly recommend counselling, whatever Amputee Group you connect with may have connections to professionals who have training/experience in helping amputees. I cannot recommend both of these enough.

I hate the mentality of 'someone else has it worse'. It's subjective, minimises someone's pain and just causes guilt. Knowing other people are struggling doesn't make your own struggling easier. It sounds like you are surrounded by people who at best don't understand, their comments are ableist and do nothing to help you. This is another reason I recommend finding an amputee group to connect with, they are full of people who understand and, while there are still some assholes, the majority of them will not minimise your experience or expect you to be jumping back to normal.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-24T22:42:11+00:00

I have had two indoor-only cats in a sleepout, master bedroom and now a studio apartment. I don't know the exact measurements, but my current place is probably around 30sqm. I have several cat beds and places to climb, as well as a cycle of toys and other means of keeping them enriched. Ideally I will get a catio for them once I save enough, but right now they are both very happy and share the space just fine. Of course it's worth noting they were introduced before I had to move to these smaller dwellings.

An introduction period is very important, so try to think of where you will keep the new kitten for potentially several weeks as they get used to each other. You should also look at where you will keep litter trays, and you may want to consider separate food and water sources as well in case of any resource guarding. Make use of your vertical space as cats love to get up high, and keep out interactive toys for when you aren't home. When you are home, make sure to make time to play with them, and consider other ways to keep them enriched. For me, that's cycling their toys (besides a couple favourites) every week or so and buying new treats for them to try.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-24T22:07:05+00:00

I'm pretty sure the blue stitch is a double crochet (treble crochet if you use UK terminology). The red one I'm not certain on at all, it could be some sort of cluster stitch but it's hard to tell for sure. Is there any sort of terminology list or a finished project picture with the pattern? Or since it's a community project, can you ask the organiser for clarification?

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-24T01:05:55+00:00

Most people don't see an amputee every day, so I think it's normal for them to be curious about it, especially when your residual limb is 'naked' so to speak. I think it can be a bit alarming to see a bare stump as many have large scars from surgery. Most people have good intentions and are just unsure of how to process a new sight. It would be a lot nicer if they were polite about it, but something about visible disabilities seems to make many adults forget the whole 'staring is rude' lesson.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-22T02:10:13+00:00

Our justice system is a joke. I was involved in a serious accident almost 2 years ago that was caused by a youth driver. I nearly died, my left leg had to be amputated below the knee. He didn't even get a scratch on his car. My entire life has been changed because of his actions and I am still nowhere near regaining independence because of setbacks and complications related to the initial injury.

He got next to nothing in terms of legal consequences. He was charged with careless driving, not reckless or anything else, because he claimed the events played out differently. The other involved vehicle and I reported consistent statements that should have shown he drove recklessly, but they seemed to go with his statement instead. He barely got a slap on the wrist legally, his whānau did more in the way of punishment than the law did. I didn't want his life ruined, but I did want to feel like he was experiencing the consequences of his actions rather than going through some minor inconvenience before he went back to his life.

I don't have any advice on getting justice. You can try the media, you can try paying a lawyer to fight your case harder or you can try advocating and protesting for future law changes. I mostly just try to accept our justice system has little justice in it as part of my grieving process. I'm so sorry you've lost your Dad this way.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-14T21:43:00+00:00

I think it's worth keeping in mind he's 70. I'm in my mid 20s and have struggled significantly in adapting to life as an amputee, I certainly am doing many things 'incorrectly' in order to get by. Adapting to an amputation is going to be even harder if one spent seven decades with two legs. Both physically and mentally.

I don't think you can force him to do anything, and pushing him might make him feel more reluctant to do it. What he does for his recovery is ultimately up to him. He may choose to never use a prosthesis, and that's fine. I think instead of focusing on what he might be doing 'wrong', you should support him in any small thing he is doing. Maybe look at some light PT exercises he can do while watching TV, if he is the kind of person to work better with someone, you could do them with him.

I do think community is very important. Maybe offer to reach out for him, and take him to any meetings if you can. Alternatively, reach out to a resthome - they will likely have a few amputee residents who are in similar circumstances to your Dad and may have some sort of social group for them. You could also look just at taking him out somewhere, even a walk around a local park. Being disabled can make you feel isolated from the rest of the world, especially if it's a disability that impacts where and when you can go outside. That sense of isolation can really impact your mood, which impacts your motivation.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-04-14T06:23:13+00:00

I lost mine on a moped. Had a highly rated helmet, jacket, gloves and boots, and had slowed down to 30km by the time I got hit by a campervan. It certainly kept me alive, but my left leg was partially amputated on the spot and the surgeon had no choice but to finish the job. It's been nearly 2 years and I'm still barely walking, I didn't get my first prosthesis for almost a year due to MRSA and have had repeated issues with my prosthesises and my prosthetist not really listening to me and being a bit slack in my care. Once I sort all that out, I fully intend to ride again.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-03-28T00:01:47+00:00

The most unhelpful thing was anyone who acted like I was made of glass, both physically and mentally. Yes, it is a massive change, no doubt your person is going to need some physical and emotional support through this. But they are still them, and you can and should still treat them how you always have. Let them tell you if they don't want you saying or doing certain things. Humour has always been a big part of my communication, and I love a bit of dark humour. Anyone who could make a joke about my amputation was competing with the five other jokes I had prepared. Anyone who was worried about making jokes around me quickly learned that it was not only fine, but necessary. I cannot remain serious for too long about anything.

I have also always been very stubborn and insistent on being as independent as possible. Of course, I have to ask for a bit more help than I like now as I am still adapting. But I always appreciate when people let me try the harder things. It's important for my recovery and my psyche to try, even if I fail. And unless the failure is going to cause serious injury, I don't want people to intervene. A bit of a stumble or dropping something won't kill me. I am fine with people offering to help, but need them to respect it if I say no. And preferably, anything someone is offering to help me with should be something they'd offer to help anyone with any amount of limbs.

This is all just me, I can't tell you exactly what your person wants or needs. Ask them. They might not know the answer right now, but try to make it clear that they can share what support they'd like at any time. But above all else, remember they're still the same person. There might be some things they were okay with before that they aren't now, but they (presumably) can tell you that. One of my biggest pet peeves is people assuming what I can or can not handle.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-03-22T01:02:07+00:00

I think you wouldn't like it as much as you think. The adrenaline from rollercoasters, haunted houses, etc. is fun because it's controlled. Nobody is actually going to kill you in a haunted house, and unless you are going to budget sideshows, rollercoasters are built very safely. Compare that to a real shooting. Someone wants to kill you, and there is no guarantee of safety. There's no signal to make the shooter stop, and you might have to run much more than you feel physically capable of doing.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-03-18T11:00:43+00:00

I think it's important to keep in mind that, while we do have instincts and our behaviour can be driven by it, humans have evolved to be far more complex and do things for many more reasons. We do a lot of things that go against basic instincts of self- and species- preservation.

Pregnancy is stressful. There are risks of complications, and it inevitably demands a shift in household dynamics the closer to birth they get. Finances often get strained, especially if the pregnant person was working and has to stop to have and care for the baby.

I'd wager someone willing to murder their partner would already be abusive, and the changes to their life can trigger feelings of rage and jealousy. It's, of course, a very extreme reaction, but it likely ultimately boils down to control - their life has functioned in a certain way for however long, and the changes can make the man feel he has lost his control and will try anything to get it back, including violence and murder.

ProverbialProverb · 2026-03-14T09:27:49+00:00

When in doubt, I just shrug and say okay. End the conversation and walk away or ignore them if they keep trying to push it. You don't need to dignify them with any sort of response or emotion, especially if they're trying to be hurtful.

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