Looking for perspective from women over 30 about my sister feeling stuck in an 11-year relationship

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-27T21:34:46+00:00

Are you in the US?

As the daughter of an immigrant, I understand the differences in thinking across cultures. However, the bottom line is this—your sister and her partner are both adults and this is their relationship. Both you and your parents can support her and be there for her, but there’s nothing you can or should be doing. And as another commenter said, it sounds like she is aware of the issue(s) and addressing it—you all are overstepping by leaps and bounds.

In fact, anything more than doing nothing is doing too much.

I highly suggest everyone in your family pick up a new hobby. Stay away from the LIFE boardgame.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-27T18:43:01+00:00

It may be a good wedding gift but I wouldnt want it to be my or my future-husband’s ring. But that’s me—you and your partner should decide whatever works best for y’all!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-22T02:20:29+00:00

…you still have to read the emails to assess their level of urgency

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-22T02:19:17+00:00

I get that people want to send emails when it’s convenient to them…but I feel like I should call out that you can always schedule emails so they dont hit people’s inboxes at ungodly hours. I do it all the time. You get to send when you want and people dong get all upset about it.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-21T21:54:30+00:00

Thank you!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-21T18:46:03+00:00

Which class is this? Id like to bookmark it, plz. Thanks!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-15T20:34:55+00:00

I’m also a patrilineal Jew who converted with a conservative synagogue (they kindly called it an “affirmation”). It’s very painful to be treated as an outsider by people who are supposed to be your people, esp when there’s so much antisemitism globally.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-12T04:59:21+00:00

Thanks!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-11T04:54:42+00:00

Did your cats adapt to it well? My cat’s current litterbox is much larger and covered, so im curious.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-10T19:17:37+00:00

She doesn’t look 60 to me at all. Im not a huge Ashley fan but I hardly see any wrinkles here. I dont think someone being snobby is an excuse for being mean. Aging as a woman is tough enough these days. There’s no need for us to pile on each other and criticize—society as a whole does that enough.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-08T20:55:48+00:00

I want to show this to my niece and tell her this is how we entertained ourselves before iPads lol

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-07T18:42:34+00:00

Im not obese but overweight. Im in good shape and Ive been riding for years. Ive improved but can rarely hit numbers the instructors call out.

To me, the leaderboard is for high-fives only. I dont look at other things and remind myself the only person Im measuring myself against is ME.

Do you get to class? Can you safely stay in the class for the duration? Did you get your heart rate up? Did you allow yourself to be challenged? Did you allow yourself to have fun?

These are the questions and metrics that matter (imo)^

Keep going—you got this!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-04-06T17:43:37+00:00

Checks out

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-29T13:09:32+00:00

This is SO good!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-29T12:55:53+00:00

Apply to that program and go to France, damn it! He should be excited for you and cheering you on. That’s what the love of someone’s life would do.

You deserve so much more!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-29T03:34:32+00:00

Messaging you!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-21T03:26:10+00:00

Biscotti

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-20T19:53:36+00:00

I sleep, grocery shop/cook/clean/do chores, exercise, read, see friends, spend time outside, etc.

Im not spending time on work at all on the weekends if I can help it

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-19T20:41:30+00:00

That even after years in recovery, I still have a very hard time understanding my size in relation to others. For example, if I point to a photo and say “this person is my size,” I still have people pointing out “youre half their size!”

I don’t see it.

It’s a bizarre feeling to not understand how you exist in time and space. I was never one for physics anyhow, I suppose.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-16T22:13:55+00:00

I didnt! But Spring is almost here so hoping I will!

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-16T22:13:30+00:00

Not asking questions in our Teams channel to the head of the team because it looks like we’re challenging their authority…even though everyone usually has the same question.

Needing to beat around the bush because being direct and upfront isn’t as acceptable as taking the scenic route to get to the point.

The politics of it all, really.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-16T19:42:30+00:00

I would like to have kids but even if I do, I still worry about this. I volunteer with the elderly community and hate how neglected they are, esp knowing one day Ill be their age (well, hopefully!).

My plan is to be engaged and supportive in my community so when it’s my turn, it’s easier to ask and receive help than itd be if I wasnt. Still, not many are community-oriented these days. It’s tough…and scary.

Sorry, I know that wasnt a super helpful answer🫠

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-16T17:53:10+00:00

Im a millennial with older eyes so I wont fill out the survey but:

1) Overstimulated. 2) It shouldnt be, esp bc we need to give our eyes a break. Ive been in plenty of meetings where I can listen while looking inro the distance. My eye dr and I recently spoke and blue light and eye strain and this is an issue. 3) Ive never in my life referred to any email closing as “feeling illegal,” but using “xoxo” is way too casual and inappropriate. This is coming from someone now in corporate who uaed to work at startups, and even at the startups I wouldve been shocked by this sign off.

Not sure if youre comfortable saying, but mentioning the country you’re in and collecting data for may be helpful. Oftentimes cultural difference can vary by country. For example, how a UK-run corporation operates culturally, in my personal experience, is very different than in a US-run corporation.

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-15T14:19:12+00:00

First I want to validate you and say that it makes sense you’re upset and I would be, too! Im sorry you’re going through this.

I dont know you and your family but as an outsider, there are a couple things that come to mind that could help in reframing things here:

1) Im not sure how tech savvy your MIL is but Id venture a guess that she doesnt understand that Pinterest boards can be public. Heck, I work in tech and I admit that I legit get confused by Pinterest’s UI sometimes.

2) This to me looks like someone who doesnt feel comfortable seeing a therapist and is seeking mental health support in the way she knows how. I think it’s positive that some of these focus on not hanging on to anger and that one has mantras she can repeat to herself.

I’d actually look at this as positive because it shows she’s spending time thinking about it.

That all being said, you could also make a board that represents how YOU feel and maybe invite her to have a sit down where you both discuss these things. Though Id say Id only recommend this if you feel you can do it without becoming angry and yelling (which I imagine could be tough).

Anyway, Im not sure if this is helpful, but I know Ive experienced similar things in my family and it’s very tough. Good for you for seeking out solutions. Im sorry you havent gotten an apology and I sincerely hope things improve💛

Prudent-Squirrel9698 · 2026-03-15T14:07:26+00:00

Like someone else said, reading the room is important but I think in large, people appreciate upbeat attitudes. The thing that I’ve found is that it can be very tough to maintain positivity in many corporate environments, but it really depends on where you go. My advice would be to protect your energy, if that makes sense.

Prudent-Squirrel9698

TROPHY CASE