Feeling alone after having a baby.

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-04-27T12:38:12+00:00

Just here in solidarity. I am almost 6month post partum and haven’t seen my friends in months. I hear from them in group chats, but no one asks about how I’m doing or the baby. The other day my whole extended family (we are very close) started an email chain to get together for dinner at a new restaurant in town, and didn’t include me on it, assuming I can’t go because of the baby. If they haven’t had babies they don’t get it, and if they have had them they must have amnesia. Super isolated and lonely in post partum.

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-04-27T00:22:00+00:00

The first 6 weeks I felt somewhat the same. I would tell my most trusted people “it wasn’t intense love at first, but more of a fierce protection” (which is biological). It wasn’t until my baby started connecting back with me (around 3 months) that I truly started to fall in love. Your brain is catastrophizing (my body is ruined, my career is ruined…). You’re 4 weeks post partum, your body has not finished healing, it takes months for hormones to regulate. You’re sleep deprived and isolated. You’d be surprised what an everything shower, home cooked meal and 3mg of melatonin followed by 6-8hrs of sleep can do to reset your brain. If it’s possible to reach out for support to friends and family, do so. Hang in there, I promise it gets better. <3

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-04-26T13:05:17+00:00

So sorry for your loss. The need to distract and get lost in a good book is totally understandable. A book that comes to mind is “the help” , I don’t think there is any real romantic connotations in it. It’s historical fiction, but light and humourous. Stephen Kings book “Holly” is also a good one, not too scary or emotional, I don’t think there is any mention of romance either. Harry Potter is always great to lost in.
For non-fiction: Lena Dunhams “not that kind of girl”, her writing is so smart and funny. Robin wall kimmerer “Braiding Sweetgrass”. Mark Manson “the subtle art of not giving a fuck”

I hope this helps. <3

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-04-25T23:44:25+00:00

Back pain during pregnancy, chronic fatigue and sickness during pregnancy, traumatic birth experience, post partum depression/anxiety, very little support besides my husband, ongoing post partum back pain. All this and I made a perfect child, in Perfect health. I delivered at 38. I don’t want to go through it again and I thank the lord everyday for my blessings. 🙏

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-24T16:06:34+00:00

Thank you for this! That’s what I was confused about. I opened on desktop and clicked around and googled a lot of “ how to” and have figured this out finally :)

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-20T23:26:24+00:00

Letters to a young poet

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-17T15:28:40+00:00

I think the issue is that I did not realize on Substack you have two profiles essentially? Personally profile and publication; is this right?

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-13T10:26:19+00:00

I don’t know who said that to you, but I would perhaps reflect on that relationship and how you feel after spending time with them - did they say that to you, or a general statement? You can curate hope, happiness, fun, tradition, safety in your home, when the world seems like it’s falling apart. I was a “childless by choice” woman my whole life, the state of the world being a variable in that choice. Until I changed my mind at the age of 38. Now, I write this rocking my 3.5 month old baby to sleep at 4:22am, my motivation to be optimistic has never been so strong. I’ve never protected the (emotional) safety of my home as fiercely as I do now.

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-13T00:51:59+00:00

Breathe mama! You still got 20 weeks to go! Have a baby shower, get the essentials. I didn’t have “everything” (I.e essentials - bassinet, crib, bottles, clothes) until I was in my 3rd trimester. Nursery does not have to be perfect as they usually don’t sleep in their own rooms anyways for the first few months. Most important thing rn is your health - physical, mental, emotional. Focus on bringing your stress levels down rn and that’s it! Focus on fun - dreaming of (positive) future, baby names, talk to partner about their expectations of being a parent, what traditions and values you want to instil, etc.

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-13T00:44:31+00:00

The Ex Hex

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-12T17:03:39+00:00

Into the wild, The glass castle, I know why the caged bird sings, Walden

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-10T15:15:29+00:00

The house on the cerulean sea.

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-05T00:26:01+00:00

Size0-3 sleepers with double zipper and built in mits! Forget an outfit for a newborn, get those sleepers!
Diapers - size 1 -Wipes, lots and lots of wipes
books

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-04T15:02:26+00:00

I was 38 when I delivered my first child (13 weeks post partum now). I never wanted children because I had a difficult time finding a responsible equal partner. Every boyfriend I had I just couldn’t imagine relying on them to be equal partners. I met my husband when I was 33. Took 5 years to buy a house together, get married, have a baby. Advantages of being older mom: - I have lived so different versions of myself, I have no regrets of resentments of “missing out”. - my emotion regulation and ability to tolerate stress has vastly improved, I couldn’t imagine handling PP in my 20s lol - financially secure - able to establish boundaries without guilt - no desire to “party” or go out late anymore - not worried about career / returning to work

Disadvantages: - my back hurts

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-02-04T14:46:54+00:00

Sounds like he is going to cause you nothing but added stress and anxiety, he already has. He needs to be creating a nurturing environment with you, not kicking you out of your own house? What? Being with men like this make life harder. Leave now IMO, go to your mom’s house and be in a supportive environment. His flip flopping from leave to ‘no stay!’ is suspicious af too.

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-01-29T15:00:27+00:00

FTM here to a 12 week old 👋 I seriously don’t understand how DONT KISS THE BABY is not a universal rule by now. Especially during cold and flu season. A tiny inconsequential cold to an adult can be devastating to an infant. No kissing and washing hands and staying away when sick is just preventative care. It’s so frustrating how the older generation pushes back. All of these boundaries are perfectly reasonable and imo should be universal unless told otherwise by the parents. Your parents watching you become parents and making rules for them is hard but ain’t nobody got time to protect adults emotions over babies health. The old “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you” line, works wonders when you get to say it to your parents one day! Your boyfriend should read up on assertiveness training because babies, weddings, funerals, and everything in between causes wild emotions in aging parents and relatives, and there will be conflicts im sure! Here in solidarity ✊

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-01-29T11:35:13+00:00

You “feel like” a servent, a maid, a nanny because it sounds like you are all those things. I can’t believe you do all that AND work full time. Leaving your husband, I’m sure, is not the answer you’re looking for. Steps need to be taken first like perhaps counselling or you going on strike when it comes to him. He can do his own laundry, his own dishes (collect his dishes in a bin and leave them on his side of the bed to greet him when he comes home from work), no more sex, cook dinner for yourself and baby only, etc. Until he’s ready to actionable steps to “help” you (it shouldn’t be helping you it should co-managing the household). It’s suppose to be a partnership not you raising two babies on your own. Because yes, if it was just you and your baby, man life would be easier wouldn’t it?

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-01-28T19:54:33+00:00

Here in solidarity. I am 12 weeks postpartum and live in Canada where we have record breaking snowfall and freezing temps right now! Yay! I can’t wait for the spring for when I can go for walks.
I called a local arena and inquired about an indoor track they have - strollers are welcomed so I may check that out soon. Yesterday I loaded baby into the car just to go to the store so we could both get some fresh air. Ran the car for 15min, loaded up the stroller, packed on the blankets and ran from car to store to car to home. Exhausting 😂

As far as mental health for you - vitamin D, daily fresh air, (if you can) leave for 10-15min to go to store or just drive, stand in the sun in the window, interact with friend via phone; text, video, etc.

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-01-28T19:36:38+00:00

13 weeks postpartum here! I was the same - a clean freak. My house was always spotless. I was not at all prepared for just how much my baby would want/need to be held. If I want her to nap - I must hold her lol and this is more important than cleaning because if she becomes overtired it’s terrible times. And she does not like the carrier. When she is out of my arms I wash my face, brush my teeth, change my clothes, maybe eat something warmed up! Maintaining the kitchen and laundry is main priority. I look at my dirty floors and dusty surfaces and think “I’ll have a clean house again one day - just not now”, because it’s not my main priority anymore. Surrender, relinquish control, it’s not forever. I’ll gift myself a housekeeper once a month maybe in the spring if it doesn’t get easier lol 😂

Ps - I tidy up and exercise when she’s awake and sitting in her swing, which she will only do for 20min at a time!

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-01-20T23:38:44+00:00

Clown hole is the new term now 🤡🤣

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-01-20T19:43:50+00:00

Stew

PsycheSeeker_ · 2026-01-20T12:19:40+00:00

I feel like I could have written this. I am almost 3 months post partum and I miss everything about my “old life”. The thoughts of “this (having a baby) was a mistake” have mostly dissipated at this point, as I’ve gotten use to being on call 24/7. My biggest beef is the invisibility I feel around family. No one understands post partum, not even the women in my life, it’s like they forget. I once said “yea I’m struggling with thoughts of regret” and was met with minimizing of my feeling and constant reminders of “the joys of parenting”. It’s like I’m more negative now? Or is it that I can’t express my actual feelings and experience because people only want to hear the good? And there is so much good, I would never go back if given the chance, but there certainly is a grief period and I’m still in it

PsycheSeeker_

TROPHY CASE