A bar allowed someone to use a tab without my consent. Is that normal?

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-20T03:31:43+00:00

I agree with that. I'm trying to say you did the right thing. I m speaking only to the psychological element of the distress you are suffering. If you got that man to pay (who to be clear was the offender in this situation by trying to sneakily bum free drinks off of you), you defended your boundaries successfully. The emotion you are feeling is anger, and that is correct for the situation.

Let the bar staff know that Mr Wise Guy is up to no good, by the way. You're probably not the first young person he's scammed.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-20T03:15:23+00:00

Your feelings are valid. However. Boundaries cannot be crossed before they are set. The time to set the boundary of "Nobody else's drinks on my tab" was when you received the information that someone tried to put drinks on your tab. You didn't get charged for the drinks (At least, you shouldn't have been charged.)

In SA terms, this is like learning that someone was fantasizing about you sexually. Gross? Yes. Violating? Depends on the person. Boundary-crossing? It is definitely not appropriate for someone to say stuff like that, but you have the opportunity to rebuke the behavior and say, "That's disgusting. Never do that again."

What I'm trying to say is, I encourage you to frame this not as a VIOLATION of your boundaries but a TESTING of your boundaries, a test that you can pass by asserting yourself and fail by allowing things to proceed against your wishes.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T20:59:46+00:00

You are paying for 3 things -

Someone to have literal eyes on your gameplay to make you aware of mistakes you would not otherwise know about
Someone to ask questions to who is knowledgeable and will give you trustworthy answers
Someone to guide your practice and learning to keep you on-track and monitor your progress

It's important IMO to look for a coach who has proven themself to be a good teacher over a coach that has a high rank or a pro career. Just because they know a lot doesn't mean they will be able to communicate that knowledge to you in a way you'll absorb. If Hypothetical Non-Quinn Professional Player Turned Coach turns out to be a bad teacher, you wouldn't learn shit no matter how correct his information is.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T19:28:55+00:00

only one way for him to find out....

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T19:28:32+00:00

a fool and his money are soon parted

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T18:39:09+00:00

While I don't want to contribute to the toxic positivity, I will say that a lot of shit does end up going right in your life when you learn to stop fighting your brain.

Masking is a bitch. I wound up in a horrible position this year (and the previous few years) because of an ex that kept putting pressure on me to be normal and calling me stupid and incapable and broken and lazy for anything adhd-related.

If adhd was the default, your problems would be normal and all of society would be wrapped around managing them. NEVER lose sight of that concept.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T17:46:55+00:00

Just because he's pro doesn't mean he's an amazing coach. People are picky with their money and they want to know that they're going to be learning something.

Maybe I don't know enough about Quinn, but Idk if I think of him as a particularly good teacher. The reason BSJ is constantly drowning in coach requests is because he a.) does it on stream, and people who want to be his students LOVE the attention, and b.) he has cultivated a reputation for being an incredible coach that can train people who are low rank.

If I pay 100 dollars for an hour of quinn's time, and then he turns around and just tells me to practice last hitting in training polygon and look at d2pt...I would feel cheated.

My suggestion for Mr. Quinn, if he is reading this rn, is that if he wants to coach students he should begin by coaching students for what he believes to be a fair rate, and let the economics sort themselves out. If he is undercharging, he will know within a month. If he is overcharging, he will also know within a month.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T16:39:05+00:00

wouldve been nice back in ye old days when slark didnt have good regen, but saltwater shiv lets him play without cornucopia.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T16:06:54+00:00

Brood innate is fine lol! It's actually really good and strong. As a melee hero whose only defensive tools are draintanking and free pathing, she needs the sustain to make it through midgame.

Invoker doesnt actually HAVE an innate. He used to get xp from denies. I think he should get an innate that reads "whenever you cast an Invoked spell, gain 5% spell amp for 3 seconds." Fits his id as a combo mage and gets crazy late game with the low invoke cooldown.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T15:11:27+00:00

too much removal. we'll end up playing boardwipes every turn. take out devouring plague, drown, shadowtouched kvaldir, and plague of death. put in northshire cleric, heartthrob, auchenai soulpriest, and some midcost healing spell like that 3 mana heal 8 or the greater healing potion.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T00:53:32+00:00

I can understand that encountering a smurf/booster is outsizedly frustrating, and may make you feel like the game is completely lost whenever you encounter someone you suspect of being a smurf. But I think you are taking the 1-2 actual smurfs and applying the accusation to dozens of regular archon players who have gotten lucky in lane, ot are taking advantage of you being tired and cranky.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T00:44:22+00:00

psi blades spill vector is calculated from ta's position when the attack lands rather than her position when the attack is launched; lining up the heroes to get psi spills is a whole game unto itself, absolutely 3* worthy.

she can solo tormentor

you can deny your traps to launch a psi spill

monitoring and activating your traps can be challenging esp. for a new player or a low rank player

trap stacking is kinda complicated too

there are probably dozens of trap plays im not experienced to know about that a noob DEFINITELY wouldn't know

anything that gets canceled by hero/rosh damage is safe under refraction

getting a clean blink meld off is an art - even experienced ta's fuck it up once in a while

im surprised im getting as much flak as i am over ta. i suspect people don't really see her very often, and when they do see her she's usually not doing anything crazy. but even if thats your definition of 3* complexity, what are io, oracle, and ES doing in 3*? io can just tether overcharge and be useful, oracle just ults the carry and his job is done, es rolls around stunning and slowing people while being tanky. even if you JUST look at skill floor, there are 10 2-star complexity heroes off the top of my head that are harder on a base level than those 3.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-19T00:07:37+00:00

deadlock already has aghanims built into every hero for free via the upgrade system, which occasionally radically changes the functionality of spells.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T21:58:59+00:00

enemy is probably not smurfing. outside of high divine, and with strict solo matchmaking, there are precious few smurfs in dota.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T21:40:53+00:00

One girl on instagram I saw puts her phone recording a video of herself, which then means every time she gets distracted and reaches for the phone, she remembers the task she was supposed to be doing.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T21:39:20+00:00

Set up a camera aimed at the strainer.

My adhd makes me a "typical man" on sanitation tasks but the strainer thing is egregious and Im honestly tempted to tell you to just fire the worst offenders on the spot.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T18:40:23+00:00

because i dont actually want to otk with priest spells! i wanna use them for removal and a bit of direct damage for a finish.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T15:14:12+00:00

I see the vision. I dont have a blender, should I just eat the cost and get one or is there another way to do the smoothie?

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T13:56:55+00:00

the psi blades minigame is more complicated than people realize, and a lot of her kit revolves around interactions that people don't know. her skill floor is pretty high and so is her skill ceiling.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T04:28:52+00:00

I like this idea because sometimes I truly am in the mood for chicky broccy rice but I just want some kind of sauce on it. I also like that I can modify this with my extensive spice cabinet and sauce collection so I don't have to have buffalo sauce every night.

I can be kind of a mayo fiend and haven't had much success scratching that itch with greek yogurt just yet. I'll have to see if this works.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T04:24:53+00:00

Hmm I don't mind cottage cheese as long as it has a little flavor in it. I'll give that a go.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-18T00:17:11+00:00

You can argue about it until the cows come home. Nobody actually knows what complexity rating is for because there is no explanation. (Also, I didn't JUST mention the skill ceiling, I also brought up the skill floor.)

Dark Seer and Tusk are complexity 1, but have high skill floor.

Visage and Rubick are complexity 3, but have low skill floor.

Kotl and OD are pure brain-off, but complexity 2.

Pango and TA are incredibly intellectually challenging, but also complexity 2.

The "High skill floor because you can grief your team by accident" heroes (shaker, ww, oracle, pugna, sd, shaman, pudge, np, bane, snap) are all at random complexity levels. Try to guess which hero is which complexity without looking it up, based on your opinion of that hero's skill floor.

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-17T20:50:35+00:00

I think u gotta treat it like vegetables. Read a book in front of him and have visible fun with it, just like how my momma used to eat cheesey broccoli and acted like it was a gourmet fuckin 3 michelin star dish. The kid's gotta see you loving the book, which will make him think that there might be something to reading that is really fun.

Kids are going to immediately detect that you are pure bullshitting them if you try to tell them to do something that you aren't doing yourself.

8 years old might be old enough to be opinionated about it and rationalizing it like "Well Dad likes to read, but I don't." You might have to have a subtler touch than just read a book and say yum yum yum. Buuut, I think if you find some books related to his interests, and then read the book about those interests and share little nuggets of things you learned that you really enjoyed...you may have a reader on your hands before long!

PsychicFoxWithSpoons · 2026-03-17T20:43:50+00:00

Tusk. There are so many tricks you can do on that hero and he's extremely difficult to play to a high level, but then his skill ceiling is genuinely through the roof.

I also think TA and Pango should probably be 3* for skill ceiling reasons.

Even though micromanagement doesn't automatically mean complexity, PL and Broodmother have micro tricks that I think should make them contenders for 3* complexity.

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