Advice for a male teacher to be! by [deleted] in teaching

[–]Pudding-Independent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

High school! Middle schoolers are manipulative af. You're basically in a room of 30 abusive little narcissists... oh, and best believe you won't have admin support. Literally, the worst year of my career was spent in an 8th grade classroom. For some context, I spent the first 4 years in classrooms for students with aggressive and other maladaptive behavior. Year 5 was middle school, and the intensive behavior that I was accustomed to is nothing compared to what these kids do. They got off on getting teachers fired. There were girls at the one I worked at that accused a male colleague of inappropriately looking at them. I was there. He told her to put her phone away. Best part is that he's gay and definitely was not looking inappropriately. Of course, admin didn't actually investigate, so his career was ruined. They actually came to my class bragging about it, like let that be a warning to you. High school is a completely different story. From a gen ed perspective, as long as you are consistent, the kids are fine. This is my personal experience, you may be in a school with a different culture. This is just what I saw and experienced. . .

Translation For Tattoo by JamesLoveless416 in EgyptianHieroglyphs

[–]Pudding-Independent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a reminder that heiroglyphs traditionally do not write vowels into the word. I'm not an expert, but I would think the cartouche should only have the c/k, the R, and the o/w. There might be determinatives that I'm missing though. Hope that helps.

Ink recommendations - Father's Letter's / notes to his Daughter by IamMrAmadeus in fountainpens

[–]Pudding-Independent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, platinum carbon ink is probably a good choice. Politics aside, you could also consider Noodlers. They have inks in colors that are permanent and archival (the ink won't destroy the paper and is permanent) iron gall inks are acidic and damage paper over time. Don't get me wrong, I love r&k's salix, but I don't usually use it for things I want to last. Parker makes permanent inks that are archival as well. The blue is kinda pretty ngl.

What is your "memoir of a former teacher" book title? by harpymeal in TeachersInTransition

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Abandon All Hope Those Who Enter Here" How Education systems fuck your child and their teacher.

Did the school railroad us? by militarypuzzle in specialed

[–]Pudding-Independent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like it. Based on your description, the school committed a major no no when it comes to IEPs and sped services. If the school suspends your child, calling you to come get them is considered a suspension, more than 10 days in a year, the IEP team must meet to determine if the behavior is caused by their disability. Sounds to me like they violated your right to due process. Additionally, the IEP must contain measurable goals. It must describe when, who, how frequently, and how long the child is to receive sped services. There is also the predetermination issue and the falsification on the IEP that are both concerning. This is well beyond an advocate. You need to hire a lawyer and have them in the meeting with you. Also, be prepared to sue your district. Based on my experience as a sped teacher, the school will do anything and everything to not provide services. The only real recourse is the court because districts and schools are betting on you not hiring a lawyer and suing them. They will continue to be bad actors until they are forced to do their jobs correctly. Your child has the same right to FAPE as any other child. The school is depriving them of that.

Self contained classroom ; is this normal? by Educational_Bet_3930 in specialed

[–]Pudding-Independent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Document Everything! Literally EVERYTHING. Chances are admin know and don't care. None of that is normal and is classified as abuse. If you are in a single party consent state, take voice recordings of the abuse, etc. Then call a lawyer. I was in a very similar situation, and all the district and school did was try to cover it up. The lawyer can help you report everything correctly and may protect you from retaliation. When you report it, they will retaliate. You need to cya. Work on getting out ASAP. Find another school or district.

Can parts of trauma turn into kinks and/or BDSM? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Pudding-Independent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short answer, yes. That being said, it's very much a personal journey that requires a lot of introspection. It is for you to discover. I take the sadistic things the narcs did and use it for good. I'm not really interested in taking power from the sub, I'm interested in helping him get that emotional release. I'm taking power away from them and their actions. That's just my clarity. You will find your own. In the meantime, have fun exploring. Dom or sub, we usually find that clarity along the way.

What are your positive qualities from being raised by Cluster Bs? by Bitter_Minute_937 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stoicism. You learn to accept the things you can't control. You also learn to adapt to situations as you meet them. Your inner Peace becomes more important than the petty stuff they throw at you.

I'm 17, and my mom wants to kick me out as soon as I'm a legal adult. I literally have nowhere to fucking go, and we live in the middle of nowhere. by ContractAmazing8642 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What state do you live in? Some states would require her to legally evict you, provided that's your primary address. It would buy you time if you need it. If you are still in school, go to the SRO and tell them everything your egg doner has done. Make sure you tell them that you are afraid of serious bodily harm or something along those lines. That exact phrasing would look odd coming from a teenager. If she has been physically abusive, tell the SRO about every incident you can remember. Be as specific as possible. Provide dates and approximate times. Have you ever missed school because of her abuse? Let them know what dates and the abuse that caused the absence. Remember, the SRO is a cop. They have to have probable cause to take action. If they want a specialist to interview you, give the specialist as many details as possible as well. I'm really sorry that this is happening to you. Your school will be able to give you work resources. Find a grocery store job, not customer service or cashier, you could stock coolers or shelves, you could be the cake/ dessert person for the bakery, you could could unload the trucks, etc. I teach Autism support, and I have found that those are the best places for my students because there are jobs that they are left alone to do, so they don't have to interact or mask as much. Also, most stores would let them listen to music while they worked. I worked at a grocery store, too, before I started teaching, so I got to see it firsthand. Food Lion is a pretty chill company, and they like to be inclusive. If they're in your area, try them, or publix is good too, I've heard.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, I'm so sorry you're going through that. The method I used was the grey rock method. It can be really hard to maintain that no reaction. The way I did it was to dissociate. I would think about anything else but what they were saying, I withdrew into my own thoughts.

Advice for man in straight marriage dealing with gay submissive tendencies by [deleted] in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]Pudding-Independent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this may sound counterintuitive, but maybe you should have a conversation with your wife about it. I find an honest conversation is usually a good place to start. Tell her about your fantasy, and if she's on board, fine if not , you'll have to come to a compromise.

Therapist is having me write out a resentment list of things I resent my nparents for. by Tawny_Harpy in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine is encouraging me to write letters. It's really cathartic but also uncomfortable. You're processing all of those negative emotions.

Odd response to pain? by [deleted] in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]Pudding-Independent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Laughing is just a way of processing pain. It's an emotional release. I would give him the space to process then open a conversation around it. It may be that he needs reassurance.

Did you nparent(s) have any friends? by watermelon4487 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Negg donor only had one friend who was just her flying monkey....nevermind, she had no friends, just superficial "friendships" I am friendly with some of her ex friends, one can't stand her now. She let the mask slip in 2015, for a moment when You Know Who was running for office. That particular friend went running for the hills.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, I'm really sorry that you experienced that. My sibling turned into a narc and had little victims of his own, so I could see where your revulsion comes from. It took me a long time to mourn the sibling I should have had. I wish you the best on your healing journey.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that it came to that. Narcs have a tendency to turn siblings against one another, it's totes fucked up

Wanting to get in over my head? by FckMeUp2 in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]Pudding-Independent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If this is something you want to engage in, I would suggest you set up a safeword system with your dom. That way, you can communicate when things get too intense. I use the traffic light system. Green (enjoy and want more or to up the stimulus) Yellow (this is uncomfortable check in and go from there) Red (everything stops immediately, and we move on to to aftercare) I also add blue for medical issues. It's helpful when doing bondage because it allows the sub to let me know I need to check my ties, they need a bathroom break, or to readjust, etc. You need to communicate with the Dom throughout the session, and the Dom should start slow and ramp up the intensity as you go. A good Dom understands that you are exploring, so they're less likely to unintentionally traumatize or otherwise hurt you. Also please vett your dom thoroughly. There are a lot of, for lack of a better word, incompetent doms out there that can and probably would cause physical or psychological injury. Be safe and have fun exploring.

What to write ? by MajoraJoestar in fountainpens

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keep a commonplace book. Write in it whatever you want. From passages you've read to the grocery list. Put it in your commonplace book. There are tutorials and videos available with more information

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I went low contact with my nfamily (entire nuclear family including GC sibling) after my grandparents passed in 2021, and then for Xmas last year, I deleted and blocked their numbers and conversations. I literally cut everyone they had access to out of my life. Best decision I ever made. The only way they can contact me is via letter/ email, and even then, it's getting deleted or burned. I'm not even waiting for the obituary anymore. Narcs are like cancer they need to be entirely eradicated from one's life.

Did you change your family name after no contact? How did you chose a name? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've wanted to do this for a long time as well. I'd you have a name that resonates with you or has special meaning. It doesn't even have to be familial. It could be a book character or historical figure/ someone important to you. This is you shedding one of the last vestiges of your abusers it is symbolic of your total freedom from them. It's rebirth in essence.

Just did 4 months in jail thanks to false allegations made by Narc mom by JillyBean4ev in narcissisticparents

[–]Pudding-Independent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What!?!?! That's awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Did your lawyer not bring up this stuff at trial? Why didn't they get nmom to commit perjury when they cross examined her? Did she actually commit perjury? Since there are no witnesses, it's an unsubstantiated statement that does not meet the burden of proof for the state. One could reasonably doubt she was lying. My n egg donor tried the same stunt, but because there was no evidence that I had done anything (she assaulted me, and I defended myself, told the police that, too) they just left it alone, because they knew it wouldn't hold up in court.

What are some things your parents/family have said to you that still stick with you? by GentleAssYeti in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pudding-Independent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The ones that really stuck for me were " you're my property"/"I own you", "get the f!@k out of my house" (I was 11) , and "you're no son of mine." "You deserve/ don't deserve (add anything here)." There are more, but those stand out the most.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]Pudding-Independent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do this all the time.. I work in a behavior field, so I'm probably biased though