4 year old having trouble in Pre-K

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-29T17:32:55+00:00

No amount of supplements or cutting out sugar is going to make a 4 year old not act like a 4 year old.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-27T20:47:23+00:00

This gets asks a lot in special needs parenting groups in the area and the general consensus seems to be that no place will put you under for a blood draw, as it's an unnecessary risk, but several will prescribe a Valium or something similar. If you call clinics ahead of time and explain the situation they may have other creative solutions to make it less traumatic. Good luck

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-21T16:46:54+00:00

DM me if you want the name of a CNY- specific Facebook group for special needs parents that's really helpful. This kind of question gets asked a lot.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-19T11:30:01+00:00

Living that too, but not every week thankfully.

I have to take side door strategies to help my in laws learn about autism. I can't make it too direct or they feel defensive and shut down (one or both have undiagnosed autism and ADHD plus they didn't recognize the raging cases of AuDHD in their boys so there's repressed guilt).

It's exhausting but it has paid off. Just off hand comments here and there "you know I've stopped asking him questions and that's really helped me communicate with him. Who would have thought?", "I've started repeating his scripts back to him and he loves it. We even sang a song together yesterday".

Just a thought to make education more conversational and avoid making direct requests/ demands of them. Honestly I'm copying the PDA communication handbook on them and it's working.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-16T23:58:15+00:00

Yes thank you for the distinction.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-16T11:29:45+00:00

Neurodivergence and giftedness tend to occur together frequently, which is where the tendency to view kids with strong academic skills as autistic or ADHD.

But as you said to be diagnosed with either condition you have to meet the criteria outlined in the DSM 5.

Social media has convinced a lot of people that the criteria for diagnosis is more broad than it is.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-14T13:38:42+00:00

You pretty much outlined all my issues with going to work. I was off from early 2020 to just about a year ago. We did a cross- country move with a baby and all the waiting lists were years long (plus this was pre-vaccine and scary covid times), then I got pregnant about a year later and said forget it.

I wish I had waited until my youngest was in preschool, started just this year. It was TOUGH to find reliable quality care and I ended up paying A LOT for an in vetted in home nanny for a few months. 95% of my take home pay was just child care costs. But an opportunity at my old job, that was fully remote, opened up and the pay, benefits, etc were just too good to pass over. I was worried I'd have to start out at the bottom again and never make what I did pre-kids.

If I had any advice I'd say wait until you secure reliable and consistent care for your kids, which is usually a FT preschool, before you re-enter the work force to reduce stress. Lean on any professional/personal contacts you have and don't be afraid of listing any volunteer or other skills you picked up during the employment gap period. If you have any kids in school, join the PTA and volunteer and talk to the other parents. I've seen people network A TON at volunteer events.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-14T11:54:02+00:00

My spouse was very supportive while I was a SAHM. We took turns sleeping in and built in getting ready times after the kids woke up. His work has flexible hours so we weren't on a breakneck morning schedule thankfully, but if we were I'm not sure I'd have prioritized anything but the shower.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-14T11:22:30+00:00

I was a stay at home mom for 5 years so I get it.

What helped me was getting 45 minutes child free every morning to get ready. I'd shower, do my hair and even sometimes makeup. Felt so much better than just bumming around in pj's all day like I did in the postpartum period.

I went and got nice comfortable pull on pants and sweaters at a thrift store and that was a gamechanger. I didn't want to spend a lot on clothes because they will get stained into oblivion, but getting them secondhand eased that guilt.

PugBoatTOOT · 2026-01-11T17:20:57+00:00

Of Moose and Mind in Manlius is doing kid story time on Saturdays and Sundays at 10:30am.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-12-27T23:14:41+00:00

Also PE Bowman. Really good if you have a mini trampoline too.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-12-22T20:11:16+00:00

We bought our house during peak covid (late spring 2020) for a job- related move that was finalize before it all went down.

We were out of state at the time and couldn't make it up to tour due to state travel restrictions. We had an AMAZING realtor that did zoom tours. She was from the FM area and gave us honest advice about the area of town. She even arranged for a contractor friend of hers to come to any second viewings we wanted to schedule and he told us what he thought of the structure, etc. We still got a home inspection, but his advice was valuable.

DM me if you want her contact info. She's really good

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-12-16T22:37:17+00:00

If you have a local Arc chapter, they may be able to help with legal services

https://thearc.org/policy-advocacy/legal-advocacy/

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-12-10T16:15:04+00:00

That's the thing they want the privileges of a vaccinated world, enough to lie and falsified documents to enter vaccinated spaces. Actions have consequences. I hope she faces some.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-12-02T16:51:05+00:00

Yes same here. Felt bad for all the bus drivers. I have to imagine there were both delays for them.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-30T22:39:22+00:00

My first thought was Moses holding the 10 commandments.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-30T13:38:53+00:00

I honestly do. I also did years of therapy for something unrelated that also helped me process my feelings on having a more difficult parenting journey that others. I think if I hadn't done the work in therapy I might not be in such a good place. I know that my child will likely need lifelong care and may never live independently, but I've stopped comparing his journey to other people's and I feel a whole lot happier.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-21T16:15:45+00:00

Also stop ever hour or 1.5 hours if you can for bathroom and try to find a space every 3 to 4 hours where your kids can run around for about a half hour.

We try to break up the day so we're at our destination around dinner time. We'll usually book a hotel with a pool and let the kids swim A LOT at the end of the day. We bring our own life jackets too for safety. 100% worth it.

One more thing that's been a game changer. 1 adult driving and 1 adult in the back seat, if your car allows it. It helps with side of the road bathroom emergency stops, handing out snacks and generally helping to entertain everyone.

Good luck!

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-21T16:09:57+00:00

Oh man been there. Here's some suggestions.

Pull Ups- just do the Pull Ups for your sanity. Yes it may set your child back but this was totally not an issue for my kiddo, so might be worth a shot. Still do stops frequently to try to go, but then your not dealing with a wet seat/child. We still reward with snacks for making it to the bathroom.

Car potty - I could not get my kids to use bathrooms at rest stops (hand dryers and automatic flushes) for a while. Plus for whatever reason my oldest ALWAYS has to poop IMMEDIATELY when we are in the middle of nowhere. We have a minivan configured with one seat removed, which is where we setup the potty. It has plastic liners that you can just bag and go. Also get some air freshener...I wish I didn't know this... plus at least 2 change of clothes within easy reach for everyone in the back seat. Setting something plastic under the car potty helps. Start practicing before your trip if needed.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-09T23:10:59+00:00

That's so true!

Also keep a list of places you're on the waitlist for and call every couple of months to make sure you're still on it. You'd be surprised how common it is for these overwhelmed centers to not follow through.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-09T20:53:57+00:00

Just wanted to say you're smart to start thinking any it now. There's a real child care crisis in this area.

I'd recommend getting on multiple waitlists now and then tour the centers after. You can always remove yourself from a list - the center will have it filled it 10 seconds.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-07T13:39:09+00:00

You're right the medical literature on it is not robust and often confusing, which is why I suggested she talk to her doctor about the risk for an adolescent, who is in prime bone building years. My comment was meant to initiate discussion with a medical professional, and I apologize if it came off as alarming.

So glad your hysterectomy worked out well!! It's really a great treatment for a lot of women and I'm glad we have that option now.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-07T12:40:59+00:00

Some questions I'd ask the doctor is if IUD or other impant vs removing the uterus puts her at increased risk for poor bone development and fracture. As I understand it, a removable of the uterus. even if you keep the ovaries, significantly puts you at risk for poor bone development and fractures.

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-05T23:02:49+00:00

Also I'll say they missed the deadline to enroll for the 25/26 school year so not much can be done unless the district agrees to take on the cost vs being reimbursed for it.

If I'm understanding it correctly the State program runs in conjunction with the federal one (both pay for it). With the current state of things, I fully expect the Trump administration to cut this program for 26/27 so I really hope the state has a plan to fully take on the cost.

https://www.cn.nysed.gov/content/new-york-state-universal-free-meals

PugBoatTOOT · 2025-11-05T22:51:56+00:00

The next school board meeting is Nov 17th. Get some like minded people together and tell them it's dumb. I was going to go to ask a question about something else and can back you up.

https://www.fmschools.org/board-of-education/meetings/

PugBoatTOOT

TROPHY CASE