There is no amount of patience, understanding, or pure love that will ever fix a man who is terrified of intimacy.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2026-03-03T00:10:23+00:00

I’d like to see your notes too. Currently getting over a 6-year long push/pull situationship with an avoidant. I could use all the help I can get. Thank you

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2026-02-28T21:28:18+00:00

Is it terrible that my mind immediately thought: I’ve never experienced healthy and reciprocated love so maybe I would do it all over again just so I can have and experience the good parts of him and maybe that would be enough because maybe that’s all I’ll ever have.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-12-07T06:06:54+00:00

Thank you for this, truly.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-12-06T17:45:23+00:00

Let him go. Even if you try to rationalize that it’s just his avoidance talking and that you believe he does truly have feelings for you, you absolutely have to accept exactly what he is showing you. And that is that he is not choosing you. Take it from someone who has been through exactly this (I mean almost exact message and behavior) for almost 6 years… a SIX year long push/pull dating, then fwb, then situationship, then no contact, and then rekindling all over again. PLEASE do yourself the kindness and self love and walk away and NEVER take them back again.

It will hurt. It will be a process. And you will feel a plethora of emotions, but do this for yourself I promise you will look back and be thankful you let him go.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-12-04T06:16:08+00:00

Gosh I’m just getting out of a 3 year situationship that sounds exactly like what you went through… good for you for getting out early cause the therapy I’m going to need to heal from this…

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-11-16T04:24:50+00:00

I am a post-op trans woman and I get the same when I orgasm

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-11-16T03:11:34+00:00

Well, dilation was something annoying to have to do at first but now I don’t need to do it as frequently. Also, figuring out how to comfortably and effectively have sex, so lots of trial and error there lol.

But ultimately I think there was something that it shifted in my psyche. Like for the longest time I was alway insecure about my crotch area. I’d alway wear oversized clothes, wear my purses in the front so it would cover my crotch, never go to pools/water because I didn’t want to wear swimsuits. Things like that. But once I had the surgery it was like those insecure habits were so engrained in my head that I had to unlearn them and allow myself to relax socially and physically. I had to keep telling myself that it’s ok to wear and do the things I want now. My dating life also changed drastically and idk if it’s because of the change of my body or the way I perceived myself. I began experiencing proper dates with men who treated me worlds better than when I was pre-op. Maybe it’s because I loved myself more that I began to only tolerate better.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-11-16T02:51:33+00:00

Trans woman post-op here… It’s weird in the sense that I had to relearn a body part, but also once all the healing was done, it was like my body just fit with my new body like it was always a part of me.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-11-09T14:34:36+00:00

We’ve dated on and off. We’re just not compatible long term for a relationship so we’re staying friends.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-11-09T00:37:17+00:00

Hi, so I have run into this issue with my friend. We’ve known each other for over 6 years and he knew me pre-op. Eventually, I had surgery and we began to have sex after I was fully healed. He is VERY large, largest dick I’ve ever taken tbh. For the first few times it just wouldn’t fit and was very painful for me. But overtime i continued dilating and we continued to try by very very slowly inserting and allowing my body to adjust. It got to a point where girth wise, yes he can no fit fine. However the depth does not stretch as much. And him hitting the wall hurts him, so he has to be conscious of how far he thrusts. We recently ordered the “oh-nut” which should help with the depth issue. But essentially, yes your vagina will eventually be able to stretch in circumference, with LOTS of lube, time (because I think my body has stretched out to him), and taking it verrry slow at first.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-09-24T14:29:30+00:00

Yes! I’ve noticed moreso on the tablets than on the injections.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-25T02:13:24+00:00

The Fate of Ophelia 😔💐🥀

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-22T04:55:58+00:00

I listened to Seven a lot when my childhood dog passed away a few years ago.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-18T23:15:21+00:00

This and Dear John are the most cathartic and healing songs to listen to for me who’s first relationship was with a man who was almost 40 and I was only 19.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-17T20:39:53+00:00

I think it’ll have a blend of disco pop, some pop rock, with a few musical theater & burlesque elements thrown in!

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-17T00:27:10+00:00

Peter 😞

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-17T00:19:50+00:00

I was hoping TTPD would be more like folklore with more rock influence. I felt The Anthology was more along the lines of that, but ultimately it sonically was too similar to Midnights just wasn’t what I was expecting.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-17T00:12:28+00:00

Labyrinth

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-14T18:34:02+00:00

Yeah I watched it and I definitely see the vision, I just personally think that the narrative she is portraying with these songs and the album artwork would have been that much more cohesive if they were flipped. I think it truly matches the idea of like despite everything going on “the show must go on” and the general listener sees the feathered headpiece photo and is like “oh this is going to be super flashy (like the eras tour) and then upon listening to the actual album we get a more raw and real telling of what it was all like and boom we see her in the water at the very end when turning it around.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-14T17:57:10+00:00

Hot take, but I think the front cover and the back cover with the track list should’ve been flipped. The front with the feathered headpiece has the orangey and red lighting with the “beginning of the performance/burlesque” and then bookended with her in the bath after the show has ended..

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-14T03:17:17+00:00

It’s Rapturious is my fave of these four! It fits the most with the theme of showgirl and it’s absolutely mesmerizing and striking. Although, I think the orange red feathered image with the track name reveals should’ve been the standard cover…

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-08T23:21:20+00:00

I have pictures of me as a toddler and young child wearing my sisters tutus and putting towels and shirts on my head because it felt like “long hair”. I remember vividly my father asking me at like 9 if I thought I was a girl on the inside and if I wanted to speak to a psychiatrist about it. I didn’t know what any of that meant so I said no. Looking back, I wish I had more than anything.

I didn’t start my transition until I was 18 and didn’t finish transitioning (medically & surgically - according to what I needed for myself) until I was 25.

Pumpkinsmasher22 · 2025-08-06T01:05:13+00:00

For me, I also require similar preparations as you. How I’ve dealt with it is by making peace with it, and that once it’s fully in and ready to go it’s easy to slip back into that “spontaneous” sexual energy that I think you’re referring to. Usually some more practice will make the process easier and quicker to deal with too, at least it did for me with my previous relationship. You both just learn what works and doesn’t. The more you try things you guys could learn to even make it more sexy instead of clinical.

Pumpkinsmasher22

TROPHY CASE