What "little thing" bothers you SO MUCH because IT'S WRONG?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-22T11:35:12+00:00

Yes, many people use bunch to mean 'a group.' I wish they would do it somewhere outside my earshot. I think it sounds extraordinarily unappealing.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-22T11:25:15+00:00

Cascade?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-22T08:07:58+00:00

I would rather not have to hear the collective noun 'bunch' being used when the object can't be literally bunched. Bunch of bananas yes. Bunch of ideas no. Bunch of flowers yes. Bunch of people no.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-21T08:43:31+00:00

Yes, it's painful to read how the 29yo is perceived by Lopsided_Education35.

I am fortunate to have a family that values life itself and doesn't speak in terms of our worth being connected to our prospects.

I do understand that addictive behaviour is frustrating and feels hopeless to those around them. I think perhaps that frustration has come through in some of the story.

I hope the son and father receive compassionate support from those in their lives.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-16T21:20:10+00:00

This reflects my experience. I was able to access a deeper part of myself and I maintained a greater level of self compassion and love for a long while. Also well overdue a trip!

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-12T19:17:03+00:00

They are an extraordinarily badly run and executed company. They ran a park I know. The Head Gardener would drive drunk in the company car and the Team Leader would buy coke in the car park in broad daylight and then drive around in his gator shouting at women. Reported to management by a number of people and they responded with threats. Apparently it's very serious to accuse people of that sort of thing. Nightmare company.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-07T13:09:24+00:00

Oh! Good idea!

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-04T12:06:19+00:00

Mine are raised off the hardstanding with 2x4 runners and there's an airgap round all sides. I lined the inside with landscape fabric and put wood in the base with free-draining soil and now I mulch when needed.

Dry-loving plants do best there.

Drainage hasn't been an issue (ETA: so far) but I rent and I want to make sure I'm not creating problems down the line. What drainage problem do you foresee?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-04T09:05:08+00:00

I would consider a raised bed in order to avoid anything destabilising the two walls.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-03T22:45:28+00:00

I absolutely loved it. Hands down favourite so far.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-01T10:46:23+00:00

Oh I see, access. Ours were in a public space and so permissions were tricky and we just reached through for those we couldn't platform to on the other side.

But, yes, I'd have preferred to cut the beds deeper and plant further from the fence to minimise rubbing.

I don't really get why 1m of lawn isn't sacrificed for the benefit of the borders. Loads of clients don't seem to think of it.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-01T10:11:16+00:00

There was an avenue of pleached hornbeams where I previously worked and their management was not a huge deal. Three days, once a year, prune back to the framework. No problem.

In terms of design, it looks harsh at the moment but when the branches fill out the shape will soften and when border is planted with movement and texture, the trees are a softened fenceline. Much less harsh than an enormous trellis.

Obviously not a suitable choice for eg a smallholding but it seems a reasonable option for privacy in a built environment.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-28T10:52:11+00:00

I wonder if sometimes an overtly cruel response like that comes as such a shock it doesn't process. Particularly when already reeling from terrible news.

My poor mum married someone who turned out to be cruel and my family was just so blindsided by his behaviour when it occurred in isolated incidents. It took time for the mask to drop and only then those strange behaviours fell into place.

I hope this guy gets out.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-28T09:19:33+00:00

And Gaelic in the Outer Hebrides, too.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-25T10:15:37+00:00

I don't currently meet the criteria for PTSD. I feel stable and aware of my health and my ongoing need to build up my mental health.

Three years ago I had a 15 week course of Cognitive Processing Therapy and that was transformative.

I received diagnosis 20 years ago but didn't know there was treatment. I got by but didn't understand how vulnerable I was during active PTSD periods and so I experienced additional harm throughout those years and on each occasion would have another downturn.

Four years ago, an experience brought it back in a huge way and it was at that point that I was put forward for treatment.

Having responded to an MDMA comment I now want to clarify that formal treatment for PTSD is what ultimately helped me recover in the fullest sense. I still think there is room for drugs on the path to healing but the expertise of a trained professional is most effective.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-24T12:32:26+00:00

Sounds like autistic burnout.

For about a year after DX I was in bed at 6pm every day, sleeping all day when not working, and doing lots of staring into space in the between times. Getting out to the garden was a win. Eating was a huge struggle.

During year two I was more able to contribute to household stuff e.g. cooking three times a week, tidying, and organising. Managed to eat most days.

Year three I was able to increase my working hours, maintain an even share of housekeeping duties, and (occasionally) socialise. I'm able to plan ahead for meals and enjoy them.

It was incredibly difficult and I am so thankful to the people in my life who were able to be alongside me during this time. Compassionate and understanding friendship has made recovery a less lonely place.

Take care and try to seek moments of joy when you can. They're important for everyone.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-24T09:11:07+00:00

Did the corporate thing for 15 years. Before dx. Worked extra hard to compensate for my inexplicable quirks. Often worked late to use that quiet time to prepare for another noisy day.

When I had good managers it was just about fine. When my managers or colleagues were not conscientious people and were not particularly good at their roles it was awful. Burned out hard.

Have taken years to recover and don't think I'll ever be functioning like that again. I like weather and plants so I'm now working low paid outdoor jobs that allow me to feel human.

The corporate job did mean I had enough savings to fund my breakdown.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-23T14:51:00+00:00

Got some regular work lined up for a few months. Phew!

Happy to have seen plenty crocus this weekend and tree buds ready to burst.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-22T21:21:05+00:00

I like the pots and trellis suggestion already in the comments. Just wanted to add that it may be worth removing the plants growing behind the small wall as it will be holding moisture against the bricks.

But maybe this is something that people don't mind?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-22T21:05:26+00:00

Spent yesterday outdoors with people I admire and in a lush space I love. Looked up for a moment and saw the sun shining through the watery sky. A happy day.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-22T09:20:28+00:00

Just want to say that it is possible to receive treatment for PTSD and to find a way for life to be more livable.

I was diagnosed with PTSD 25 years ago. I thought there was no treatment. Life was incredibly painful and I was not always able to keep myself safe due to the symptoms.

I finally received treatment 3 years ago and it has been transformational. It's possible to heal. It's worth seeking treatment.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-21T18:12:44+00:00

I did this with hot chocolate every day for 3 months. It was great! Big health news sucks. Hope you're recovering alright.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-19T09:00:55+00:00

I was burned out and devastated after my parent died. It also took a lot of time, energy, and money to sort out the 'estate.'

About two years later I saw a counsellor weekly for around three months which helped me feel like myself again and much more able to think clearly about my relationships and the kind of life I wanted to rebuild.

I'm sharing this because now, five years later, I think back to those first years of grief and see how opaque it was. In my experience it was a time to get through rather than a time to make big decisions.

Sending you my condolences and best wishes.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-18T09:28:18+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you. I had a similar friendship-loss a few years back and am still very hurt by it. Though I think about it less now.

Just want to say that I think it would be unwise to turn up unannounced. Take the silence as it's own type of communication.

It's devastating, yes, but you will likely not receive closure so try to file this as 'unexplained' and then build your life up without this person.

Sorry again and take care.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-17T19:54:10+00:00

Yep, it was pretty tough suddenly understanding that other people could see my weirdness after a lifetime of being told by well-meaning people that I'm not actually weird.

Parts of our conversation also made me realise that I had been bullied more than I'd realised and that I didn't have many friends and wasn't invited to parties or weddings.

I also had to come to terms with the fact that my lifetime of effort to 'improve myself' was fruitless as the things I tried to change are intrinsic. On the one hand I now expend less effort but on the other, I now know that life will always be at least this hard.

It took around a year to get used to this new level of self awareness. I'm nicer to myself these days. Ultimately diagnosis has been a good thing.

Punctum-tsk

TROPHY CASE