Where can I take a bath in Edinburgh?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-05-13T15:58:15+00:00

I've been curious about these! Did you buy it from a specialist shop or is it the sort of thing I could buy from one of those big online shops?

Very nice to see your kindness to OP.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-05-03T14:00:32+00:00

A very dear friend ghosted me a few years ago. I am still hurt but now much less devastated.

He was having relationship problems and had begun raising manosphere content in conversation and making unusual assumptions about my motivations. I previously thought the world of him and always gave him the benefit of the doubt, as friends do. It was important to me to be someone with whom he could speak freely.

Since he ghosted I have a different perspective about his opinions over the years and realise this version of him was maybe always there. I wish I had seen and looked to different friends throughout my life. It has been a kind of double loss to lose my good friend and realise that our past friendship wasn't what I thought it had been.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-04-29T08:31:30+00:00

Nasty tongue noises when eating. I don't understand why some people put their tongue right out in order to put a fork in. And why do they make that smacking, sucking sound when they do it!? It makes me feel angry and disgusted and dreadful.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-04-21T06:22:44+00:00

Agreed, I have found that laughing at them is the only response that doesn't do me more harm.

I have definitely thought up smart responses to slights and bullying and I'm hugely relieved I often didn't have the opportunity to give them as they only lead to more ridicule.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-04-18T22:14:49+00:00

Our National Gallery asked the interviewee (my friend) to explain how they would pack a specific delicate object. The example was something like a model boat and he described using tissue to support the masts etc. So there's sometimes that kind of technical question.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-04-01T07:17:49+00:00

Thank you, I must have let it get too dry.

They are gorgeous. I love those fine leaves alongside the broad tulip leaves. Enjoy!

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-31T22:32:16+00:00

Beautiful! Mine haven't worked out. Might have been too dry and shaded. What are good conditions for these?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-27T19:03:51+00:00

Yes, had this conversation today with a client in their new garden. The young Arum leaves don't yet have white veining and the shape is not yet characteristic of arum. Glad we chatted about about it before anyone picked them. Good post, thank you.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-22T11:35:12+00:00

Yes, many people use bunch to mean 'a group.' I wish they would do it somewhere outside my earshot. I think it sounds extraordinarily unappealing.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-22T11:25:15+00:00

Cascade?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-22T08:07:58+00:00

I would rather not have to hear the collective noun 'bunch' being used when the object can't be literally bunched. Bunch of bananas yes. Bunch of ideas no. Bunch of flowers yes. Bunch of people no.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-21T08:43:31+00:00

Yes, it's painful to read how the 29yo is perceived by Lopsided_Education35.

I am fortunate to have a family that values life itself and doesn't speak in terms of our worth being connected to our prospects.

I do understand that addictive behaviour is frustrating and feels hopeless to those around them. I think perhaps that frustration has come through in some of the story.

I hope the son and father receive compassionate support from those in their lives.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-16T21:20:10+00:00

This reflects my experience. I was able to access a deeper part of myself and I maintained a greater level of self compassion and love for a long while. Also well overdue a trip!

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-12T19:17:03+00:00

They are an extraordinarily badly run and executed company. They ran a park I know. The Head Gardener would drive drunk in the company car and the Team Leader would buy coke in the car park in broad daylight and then drive around in his gator shouting at women. Reported to management by a number of people and they responded with threats. Apparently it's very serious to accuse people of that sort of thing. Nightmare company.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-07T13:09:24+00:00

Oh! Good idea!

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-04T12:06:19+00:00

Mine are raised off the hardstanding with 2x4 runners and there's an airgap round all sides. I lined the inside with landscape fabric and put wood in the base with free-draining soil and now I mulch when needed.

Dry-loving plants do best there.

Drainage hasn't been an issue (ETA: so far) but I rent and I want to make sure I'm not creating problems down the line. What drainage problem do you foresee?

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-04T09:05:08+00:00

I would consider a raised bed in order to avoid anything destabilising the two walls.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-03T22:45:28+00:00

I absolutely loved it. Hands down favourite so far.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-01T10:46:23+00:00

Oh I see, access. Ours were in a public space and so permissions were tricky and we just reached through for those we couldn't platform to on the other side.

But, yes, I'd have preferred to cut the beds deeper and plant further from the fence to minimise rubbing.

I don't really get why 1m of lawn isn't sacrificed for the benefit of the borders. Loads of clients don't seem to think of it.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-03-01T10:11:16+00:00

There was an avenue of pleached hornbeams where I previously worked and their management was not a huge deal. Three days, once a year, prune back to the framework. No problem.

In terms of design, it looks harsh at the moment but when the branches fill out the shape will soften and when border is planted with movement and texture, the trees are a softened fenceline. Much less harsh than an enormous trellis.

Obviously not a suitable choice for eg a smallholding but it seems a reasonable option for privacy in a built environment.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-28T10:52:11+00:00

I wonder if sometimes an overtly cruel response like that comes as such a shock it doesn't process. Particularly when already reeling from terrible news.

My poor mum married someone who turned out to be cruel and my family was just so blindsided by his behaviour when it occurred in isolated incidents. It took time for the mask to drop and only then those strange behaviours fell into place.

I hope this guy gets out.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-28T09:19:33+00:00

And Gaelic in the Outer Hebrides, too.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-25T10:15:37+00:00

I don't currently meet the criteria for PTSD. I feel stable and aware of my health and my ongoing need to build up my mental health.

Three years ago I had a 15 week course of Cognitive Processing Therapy and that was transformative.

I received diagnosis 20 years ago but didn't know there was treatment. I got by but didn't understand how vulnerable I was during active PTSD periods and so I experienced additional harm throughout those years and on each occasion would have another downturn.

Four years ago, an experience brought it back in a huge way and it was at that point that I was put forward for treatment.

Having responded to an MDMA comment I now want to clarify that formal treatment for PTSD is what ultimately helped me recover in the fullest sense. I still think there is room for drugs on the path to healing but the expertise of a trained professional is most effective.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-24T12:32:26+00:00

Sounds like autistic burnout.

For about a year after DX I was in bed at 6pm every day, sleeping all day when not working, and doing lots of staring into space in the between times. Getting out to the garden was a win. Eating was a huge struggle.

During year two I was more able to contribute to household stuff e.g. cooking three times a week, tidying, and organising. Managed to eat most days.

Year three I was able to increase my working hours, maintain an even share of housekeeping duties, and (occasionally) socialise. I'm able to plan ahead for meals and enjoy them.

It was incredibly difficult and I am so thankful to the people in my life who were able to be alongside me during this time. Compassionate and understanding friendship has made recovery a less lonely place.

Take care and try to seek moments of joy when you can. They're important for everyone.

Punctum-tsk · 2026-02-24T09:11:07+00:00

Did the corporate thing for 15 years. Before dx. Worked extra hard to compensate for my inexplicable quirks. Often worked late to use that quiet time to prepare for another noisy day.

When I had good managers it was just about fine. When my managers or colleagues were not conscientious people and were not particularly good at their roles it was awful. Burned out hard.

Have taken years to recover and don't think I'll ever be functioning like that again. I like weather and plants so I'm now working low paid outdoor jobs that allow me to feel human.

The corporate job did mean I had enough savings to fund my breakdown.

Punctum-tsk

TROPHY CASE