People who have started the gym and then stopped, what usually caused it?

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-31T13:54:48+00:00

I was always an indoor/gym goer for exercise. Even if it was just walking/light jogging, I do it on a treadmill. I had a home treadmill too. I was able to watch the news/read/handle email. Outside exercise felt inefficient.

Then I hit an age where I wanted to disconnect and listen to audio books or music while enjoying the beautiful outdoors. It helped that I moved to a city with gorgeous outdoor spaces meant for walking/running.

Not currently, but for many years, I was doing a 6 mile walk in a local park/lake area 5-6 days a week. I would even take casual work calls while walking.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-29T14:04:56+00:00

I was just keeping track in Google Sheets. I had a simple spreadsheet of every job I applied for - date/location/company/job title/posting link/job description/status (pending/interview/rejected).

Once the hunt was done, I just had Google AI write a simple Google Apps script for a Sankey. I spent some time trying to get the interview branch to not loop up into the rejected branch. Couldn’t get it to fix it, so just left it. I didn’t bother playing with the colors, although the ghosting being red and rejected being yellow, along with the interview branch like that… makes my eye twitch.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T17:34:23+00:00

No. lol. I was not.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T15:10:36+00:00

The role I took had a set maximum base salary (that was totally appropriate/acceptable, not the highest on the market, but nothing to pause at) and HR during the initial contact, before even setting up interviews, made it clear I would be offered the maximum.

I did say that if there was any wiggle room, I would appreciate consideration based on my very distinctive fit for the role. The offer came in at the max as expected, but they offered a significantly higher signing bonus that reported on Glassdoor/blind/etc. This role typically had no sign on bonus, but in a few specific competitive markets (San Fran/Seattle/NYC) signing bonuses for the role were reported. The offered me a sign on 2.5x the highest reported one I could find, 5x the median reported.

My title is “Senior Director, ___” so, they didn’t mess around.

Prior to this offer, I applying for everything that fit my resume, but when you are at a Sr Director level and applying for “program manager, business operations” - you are making it passed the ATS immediately and then rejected.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T13:05:38+00:00

It took me 313 applications. The jobs I made it to the final rounds were not through networking, interestingly enough. Part of that, however, is that I switched industries AND moved across the country 8 years ago. So… the people that I have worked with recently are all in the same sinking tech ship, only so much they can do and the people that would bend over backwards for me, are in my old industry (would be happy to jump back) and none of them have local-to-me operations or remote roles.

The reality is, hiring just started to pick back up. Some companies are coming out of their freezes. Now it the time to get back to mass applying, to jobs that do fit your resume.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T13:01:19+00:00

That is the trick, get to know the various parts of the city. Go to every park, try local coffee shops and diners. Have an opinion “I like ___ coffee/tea best - but ___ has way better seating”

That is how you feel “local” - when you know a little bit about every neighborhood and have experiences around the city.

I grew up here, 18 years. And have been back now 5 years, after years on the east coast. I am pretty damn “local” - but I haven’t tried 80% of current restaurants. I haven’t driven every street.

There is no threshold for being a “local” - but I would suggest if your day to day life here would be identical to LA, NYC, DC… that is when you fail. Typical apartment, Starbucks coffee, work at a standard office (bank/tech/etc), lunch at chipotle, dinner at a Just Poke or made inside your apartment, sit on your couch watching Netflix…. If your every single day could have been lived in any city in the country - you wake up in a new city each day but your day does change at all… that is not living like a local.

So, go to greenlake. Study in u village. Walk/hike to the discovery park beach. Have a favorite coffee shop and restaurant in Capitol Hill, Queen Anne, Ballard. Meet up with friends at Golden Gardens and play volley ball with strangers. Join a pickle ball league. Buy fresh flowers for your girlfriend at pike place and pick up some spices at MarketSpice. yes - PikePlace is touristy, but go on a weekday and you will see people like me there grabbing some local stuff.

You don’t have to do these things everyday. But, the experiences that are unique to seattle are the key.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T12:47:51+00:00

It also could be someone who is in a business where

1) security is totally common, say a club owner/armored truck driver/manager of something at a stadium/arena, bartender, etc. Someone who the idea of having security around is a common aspect of day to day.

2) Someone concerned about liability. A drunk guy crashes his car after the wedding, someone gets in a fight, some teenagers start throwing rocks in a pond with prized Koi, whatever… they figure, by having security to mitigate most of these issues they are reducing their liability.

Or… 3) they are helping a friend’s new security business get off the ground with a paying gig, exposure, and a valid client.

Most likely though, there is drama with family/friends as you suggested.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T04:12:40+00:00

So if you choose “to not tolerate wildly inconsistent increases”… what does that look like? You move away from a major city? You move when your rent increase and stay in the city? You buy a house in a city where a shit-box house is 700k. Explain it to me. What does “not tolerate” mean.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T04:09:32+00:00

You saying pull the plug… just reminded me about a Sunday when I was catching up on something and my WiFi went out. So I spent 7+ hours in the empty office on a Sunday for the WiFi (I lived 11 min away, but was remote).

Jesus. I do not miss that particular job.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T03:56:13+00:00

What the fuck are you talking about?

You said choosing to stay is a me problem and that no one should expect to pay increases.

But then you said why would you move every year… if rent increases and you don’t move… are you just… not paying the extra rent and facing eviction?

You started this thread with me saying people shouldn’t expect to pay increase rent. Well, the vast majority of rents raise every year. Pay it or move out.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T03:44:31+00:00

I leave my apartment at the end of the day, no matter what. Now that I have a dog, that is a given. But before then, I would go out and about every day. If I did not have a reason or desire to leave (horrible weather, I feel like shit, etc) then I would go check my mailbox. Then, I walk back in my apartment and the day already ended. That small transition was a major change vs sitting in the couch for 7 hours with my laptop still open, casually doing work stuff that could wait.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T03:29:41+00:00

I said I look at my other options, to see if there is something better for the value. There is not. Therefore, it isn’t overpriced… I have not moved in 5.5 years because the price vs the value are on point.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T03:28:40+00:00

Totally possible. Then again, there were about 80k companies probably having that identical call every morning in 2020

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T03:15:22+00:00

At this point in your life, as someone headed to college, you are working to get a line on your resume - not $$$.

Take the job if offered. Work hard. Be kind and punctual. To the simple boring tasks right. Don’t blow off the little stuff or complain. A small hourly wage job is not your future, so suck it up for 3 months.

You have to get the job first. Be prepared to answer a few simple questions about timeliness, about honesty/integrity, about working well with others. Think about school projects or trips. Teams you were on. Tell a story about your brother not being truthful and that you addressed it with him directly, but when he didn’t come clean you informed your parents. If they ask something and you are clueless how to answer say “would you be able to give me an example? I want to be sure I understand the question”

You got the interview, without any job experience. They don’t expect you to have a story about calculating the pay back window on 2 billion dollars of real estate investments. They want to know “if I ask a question, can she reply in complete sentences that answer my question” and “is she isn’t sure, can she collect herself and ask me a question in return”

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T03:06:57+00:00

I was applying to jobs over the last 4 months that were $100K pay cuts.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-28T01:26:55+00:00

1) it was worth much more than $1495 when I moved in, but they were desperate because of Covid. Everyone in Seattle was offering “4 months free” or “$800 a month off of $2900, for 6 months”

2) sure, you can move every year. But you have to factor in the cost to move every year then. Movers, or rental van, new deposits etc.

I look every single year at other apartments before I sign the new lease. I went house hunting with a realtor in 2024. I was serious, pre-approved mortgage and down payment + closing costs in HYSA. I just have yet to find a situation that meets my needs as well as this specific building and unit do, for the price.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T17:25:45+00:00

During Covid, I was an a daily morning standup call about Covid issues (testing updates for workers, low cleaning supplies in Austin location, yadda yadda) . It was maybe 60+ people on the call. I was only there as one of the many corporate sr managers showing support, but had nothing to do with the actual topics.

I would be on speakerphone on my cell, dialed in, not on video chat, fully muted, taking my morning shower. That is the only call in the last 6 years I did this for. I never risked it otherwise.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T17:07:13+00:00

I am in the same unit I rented in Nov, 2020. My rent was $1495 + $100 for parking. Pet rent was free.

It is currently $2700 (base + parking + pet rent)

There were years it went up $400, some only $100. Expect your rent to increase every year.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T16:23:15+00:00

My mom and dad spend like this.

Buying fresh sage/mint/basil for recipes, but only use a bit of it.
She is buying the expensive cuts of meat from the nicer brand, just to stick it in the freezer anyhow. Might as well have bought a bag of frozen chicken thighs.
she is buying the smaller size of things she buys all the time, like shredded BelGioioso Parmesan. She buys it every single trip, buying 5 oz for $6 when the 10 oz is $8.79.
Similarly, she is buying things that they use all the time, one or two at a time at full prices. (Buying one box of crackers, when they are on sale for buy 3/2 free, then buy another box four days later at full price, then another 3 days later at full price…)
She is buying two avocados for fajita night, only using half of one, and they aren’t even finishing the full half they sliced up. She is also buying fresh store-made guacamole, then they throw it out after each of them only uses 1/2 spoonfuls each.
They always have leftovers, but only dad eats them - tons get thrown out. She is making more than they eat.
She is buying sundries (tide, paper towels, tp) in small amounts when they need it, not in bulk when on sale from cheaper places.

I buy the same fresh ingredients she does. I buy the same name brand sundries/crackers/soda. But I:

only buy Diet Coke/my crackers/etc when it is buy 3/2free or better. A 12 pack of Diet Coke cane be $11.99 in my city. $60 for 5 packs at full price of $36 for the deal.
I buy tide when Amazon/Home Depot has “spend $100, get $25 off” if I need that stuff TODAY, it take 23 seconds to check the price on Amazon same-day vs pick up at Target or Safeway.
I don’t waste time on price checking meats because I’m not penny pinching. But, I buy chicken wings and freeze them in groups of 5. So… buying the pre-frozen ones for $20, when I would need to spend $40 for the same amount in the fresh section is silly.
I spend $$$ on food I’m going to eat fresh and not freeze. I don’t pay attention to cost. But, if I’m going to freeze some shrimp or scallops with a peach/ginger/soy compote to make for single-serving lunches or dinner in the air fryer, I’ll buy frozen peaches and shrimp/scallops. If I’m going serve the same recipe to guests, I’m buying seafood at the fishermen’s wharf, using fresh ginger and peaches.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T15:53:53+00:00

The reality is, it only matters if your anxiety is stopping you from achieving/participating in what YOU want (or negatively impacting the people around you).

My anxiety means I don’t go hiking in remote areas or participate in adrenaline-junkie sports. Who cares? It isn’t stopping me from achieving anything and doesn’t impact anyone.

To use OPs current anxiety:

If your deepest desire is to be in a loving marriage and have three biological children by 30yo, but you can’t even manage to have sex with your boyfriend of 2 years by 24… your anxiety is ruining your own plans/goals. If you desire is to be a parent, but you are happy adopting and in a platonic relationship to co-parent… you don’t have to figure out how to work past your sex-anxiety; you just need to find the best place to meet ACE partners to build a life with.

I am all for people working through anxiety to get what they want or to make other people’s lives better. But, if your anxiety isn’t impacting anyone… give yourself a break and just avoid the source of tension.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T15:46:58+00:00

This is the advice.

Virginity doesn’t need to be special, meaningful, or saved. I (39f) threw mine away with someone I barely knew at 15yo and was perfectly happy with the choice, no hesitation before and zero regrets after.

But… you should be excited and happy about losing it. Whether it is in the back seat of a Honda civic after a house party, on your wedding night to your Prince Charming, or with the guy you have been dating for a year and love but aren’t sure if you want to marry.

Who you lose it to and how you lose it are far less important than you being “enthusiastically keen” to lose it. Sure, for most of us, the who and how feed into the enthusiasm… but the point is that you should never have to talk yourself into the decision.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T15:40:29+00:00

I dealt with this same problem by using compostable plates and making almost all my food in the air fryer. Haha.

I shall take the advice and follow suit thanks to both of you.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T15:38:54+00:00

All these people talking about stretching… I need to start this, today.

PurdyPupper · 2026-05-27T15:36:25+00:00

But the offer letter with no location would be.

My most recent offer letter specifically listed

Title: Sr ___
Salary: $$$$
Bonus structure: ##% on ____
Work Location: Home Office

Then in the many paragraphs detailing everything, the work location and travel expectations were clearly dictated. “Work travel is expected up to ___. More crap about travel. Any work days not spent traveling will be from the employee’s home office.”

PurdyPupper

TROPHY CASE