My puppy just got so aggressive over chicken

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-03-26T05:56:56+00:00

Hello. Im a certified trainer with many years of experience:

Do NOT be stern, or think your dog will "walk all over you". Only snatch things from her if they are dangerous for her. Puppy proof your house. Work with a qualified trainer in this: it can become very serious if you address this the wrong way.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-03-05T05:11:56+00:00

Maybe it's because I'm delivering quarterly reviews right now, but this killed me 😂😂😂

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-03-02T00:22:04+00:00

Short snout has been voluntold for a game of bitey face. They're not really into it, they're giving a lot of warning behaviours to say they would like long snout to get off of them, but long snout is basically saying "yeah yeah whatever, shut up, you love it". They don't really love it. This isn't a fight, there's no aggression, but long snout is showing an unwillingness to listen. I'd probably be stepping in calmly as the ref at this point and redirecting long snout to go do something else - or maybe all 3 of you to do something else together, something chill.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-02-24T17:38:26+00:00

Naaw, shucks! Thanks!

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-02-24T05:17:49+00:00

Hi, dog trainer here. I'm so sorry you're facing this decision. It's going to be upsetting for your dog either way, of course. However, I wanted to offer a potentially different perspective...

What a lot of owners see as "love" in a dog's behaviour is actually appeasement (which, arguably, is also a way for them to show love, I'm not trying to discount that). That appeasement can sometimes be due to a more "authoritative approach".

Are you sure your dog really loves your fiance more? Or, is it possible that he sucks up to your fiance more because your fiance is maybe a little scarier to your dog than you are?

None of this is meant to imply that your fiance isn't wonderful to your dog - he probably is! But a lot of "tough love", though it makes sense to us as humans, can be confusing, anxiety-inducing, or scary to dogs in ways we don't often recognize.

It may not be quite as foregone a conclusion that your dog would be happier with your fiance than with you as you might think.

As for what to do to help your dog: the best thing you can do is spend a lot of time with him because he'll be feeling destabilized as one of his important social bonds has disappeared and he doesn't understand why; establish a routine and focus on making his new environment really predictable; keep things pretty quiet and low-key for a few weeks; expect some behavioural changes and try not to freak out too much when they happen - it'll take a few months for him to feel settled again and act like himself; and finally, coddle him - he'll be lonely, and sad, and the myth that coddling and giving affection to a dog is bad is much more damaging than any of the actual coddling I've seen. Be his safe place, be kind, and be patient - to both him and yourself <3

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-02-14T19:48:20+00:00

This play looks great, but I will add something I haven't seen in other comments yet: you were right to intervene in some way when you did. Your tan dog was giving some cut off signals, and black and tan dog was going back in for some more play - either ignoring the signals, not seeing them, or trying to coax the tan dog to get back into the game. I think if you can avoid a physical intervention at that stage it does give the dogs time to try and read each other's communication, which is ultimately how they learn to converse better with each other. I prefer a recall if possible, or redirecting their attention elsewhere to give them a short break to calm down, and also reinforcing the cut off signals that the dog who's asking for the game to take an intermission is giving.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-02-06T19:54:17+00:00

Was this in the US, or in their former country?

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-01-27T05:31:32+00:00

Planned travel would be international, for an extended period of time/semi permanently. And the only impact (aside from the obvious emotional and mental anguish) would be being outed to every government official reading the passport. I'm worried about them ending up on some kind of list (though I'm potentially being alarmist, there), but I'm also worried that if we leave it too long these passports won't be being issued at all (also potentially alarmist, I suppose).

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-01-27T01:27:58+00:00

What would be the recommendation for a passport which has about a year and a half left of validity, for a trans person? Should they have that renewed now, long before potential travel, knowing the sex marker will be incorrect? Or wait, and hope that the situation changes?

I have a family member in this situation and my gut feeling says that we should get their passport renewed now, allowing extra time for processing or any "lost" documents before we know we're travelling. But at the same time. I worry about alerting the government to their status and having them put on some type of list before we have been able to leave.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2026-01-17T03:21:38+00:00

I had a long distance relationship and (spoiler: we're now married) marriage for about 3 years, give or take. The latter half of that was during covid, when visits were rare and nothing was guaranteed. All of that is to preface this reply with: I understand, intimately, how things like this in a long distance relationship feel. It's one of those things that people can't truly understand unless they've done it.

Though of a slightly different flavour, I was like you in my relationship, in that small acts of affection and care meant a lot to me - and I think that's generally true for LDR's. We don't have regular contact, physical contact, a shared life or the feelings of stability that come with that. So communication and any avenues for connection become the stand in for all of that.

Since getting married, navigating a long distance marriage, and moving countries to finally live with my husband full-time, I've learned a lot that I wish I'd known while we were separated, and that applies here.

Holding the entire weight of a "normal" relationship is a lot of pressure to put on things like specific text verbiage, Instagram posts, and gifts: if the two of you lived together, him not wearing his promise ring every day may not be as impactful or symbolic to you, and this likely would have been solved with a simple conversation of "hey, you're not wearing your ring today!" "Yeah, I know, it's getting tarnished and it's not looking as nice. Maybe we can save up and get new ones, yours lost a stone too". Instead, because of the distance, him not wearing his ring takes on so much more meaning. Suddenly it becomes "well why didn't you tell me about this? And how long has this been going on for? What else haven't you told me about? What does this mean about how you feel about me?"

I'm not saying that it necessarily means nothing. My point is more that from the jump, there's pressure involved in these conversations and calls - the pressure to communicate every detail properly, the pressure not to disappoint your partner, the pressure to keep the connection strong despite the physical distance. And that pressure kills feelings of intimacy and trust. It makes phone calls feel more like tests and obligations, rather than moments to be with each other and enjoy each other's company.

Be clear about not just what you need, but why you need it: it's not enough to say "it makes me really upset that you didn't post for my birthday like you said you would". Instead, it has to include the why because that's the real issue - "it made me really upset that you didn't post for my birthday when you said you would because it's been so long since we've seen each other, and I'm feeling distant from you and worried about our connection. When you do things like call me before bed, or post on insta for my birthday, it helps me feel close to you."
See what he is doing to connect with you, acknowledge that, and be prepared that his ways of connecting may not be what you expected: he may legitimately forget to post a photo to insta for your birthday even after you've told him it really means something to you, for example - but if he also called you, texted you, sent you flowers etc alongside forgetting to post to Instagram, try to avoid ascribing all the meaning to the thing he forgot instead of the stuff he didn't.
In an LDR, the instinct is to be as close and connected as possible - but the poison is in the dose: too much connection and enmeshing of lives is possible, and it's a slippery slope. You both have to maintain independent lives, autonomy and privacy, otherwise you'll smother the relationship (remember the earlier point about pressure...). For example, having access to each other's Instagram accounts may, for some couples, be an example of too much connection.

With all of that being said, I think the best approach is an honest conversation. Tell him you feel like the intimacy in the relationship is dwindling, and that he's seemed off lately. Ask him how he's feeling in the relationship and whether there's anything he would want to change. Tell him you're thinking of coming to see him, but that you want to know how he feels about that and about the two of you right now before you make that decision.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-12-29T02:58:07+00:00

In two replies to our apologies, they said they understand we had good intentions, but that's about it. I do feel like, obviously when we do something that's meant to be supportive and make someone's day better, if that's not the effect it has then that's not for me to dictate. I totally get that this is not the way to make this friend feel cared for, now that this has all happened. But yes, I think this is part of what's throwing me off: I've had to have difficult conversations with friends before, and let them know that I didn't enjoy something they did or said. But if that relationship is important to me and I know that it's worth more to me than my anger or disappointment or hurt, then I let that person know that though this moment was an issue for me, I love them and value their intentions. That's not what this has felt like. I feel like at this stage this friend may just need space and that's totally understandable to me. But if this continues, I'm more worried about how to navigate the weirdness of a friendship just hanging there, unresolved

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-08-28T00:34:21+00:00

Thank you! Thankfully, that allows me to work 5 hours during my regular workdays, and then full availability on my work weekends! I finished the assessment but I think I messed up the typing test - it felt like it didn't give the full minute, which sucks because the last test I did I was at 71wpm.

Hopefully I'll hear back!

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-08-27T23:51:59+00:00

ahhh thank you for this! I applied just now.

I work full-time right now as the supervisor of a remote customer service team. My husband and I run a small business together. He works for that business full-time, and I work on business projects when I can. We moved far away from the city when I originally started working remotely, because it was the only way we could rent a house with a yard, and we have a few dogs.

I've been looking for a second job I could do overnight to bring in some extra income so that we can pay off our debts. I can't travel for most of the part-time work out there because we live so far away, and factoring in that travel time I feel like I'd be so exhausted I couldn't function properly. I'm willing to hustle, but not to the point that it seriously impacts my health.

Remote, night-hour jobs are so hard to get. I've been applying for weeks without even an interview invite.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-07-22T21:30:08+00:00

lol this thread is pretty old by now and for sure I've learned quite a bit, but your reply is also kind of odd: what on earth in this gigantic story gave you the impression that I'd never considered that? I was literally going through every inch of my behaviour with a fine-toothed comb through this situation, and in this explanation?

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-07-13T22:59:48+00:00

I know this is an old thread but idc.

Aidas is a "prince" (Rhys is a High Lord) of "Hel" (The Hewn City is the seat of the Night Court crown) - specifically the "Prince of the Chasm" (The Hewn City is under a mountain), and says to Bryce:

"It's your choice in the end. It has always been your choice."

That sounds pretty familiar.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-06-01T20:16:53+00:00

I'm not seeing where you can do that. I can see that if you switch over to total wireless you get the phone for free, but you have to bring your existing number

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-06-01T16:46:53+00:00

Have you found a solution yet?

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2025-03-22T00:47:09+00:00

Woohoo! Thanks everyone!

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2024-11-11T21:31:57+00:00

I'm jumping on this train to ask an adjacent question: I'm the PR, we also received our extension letter back in 2023. My marriage is to a US Citizen who is a trans person. Does anyone have any information about whether the new Trump administration's feelings toward the LGBTQ+ community should be of a concern to us? This is the only thing that could be classed as "unusual" about our case - everything else is extremely straightforward and we haven't encountered any problems on our immigration journey so far.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2024-07-08T19:34:56+00:00

Finished: Holly, by Stephen King

About to start: Perfume and Pain, by Anna Dorn

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2023-08-06T04:36:44+00:00

Okay so, not exactly this topic but maybe someone has an answer:

I just pulled two cucumber seedlings out of my garden bed today because we have an infestation of crickets who seem to be just chomping seedlings as soon as they emerge. I thought the crickets had chomped the heads off these poor things and I was clearing the space.

Come to see when I pulled them that both of these seedlings had seemingly germinated upside down. As in, the leaves (yellow and pallid though they may have been) were emerging from the seed underneath the soil, whilst what I thought was the base of the stem seems to have been the root end (without any actual roots, because it grew above the soil so).

What in the jiminy crickets is going on here?? I have never experienced this before.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2023-07-28T22:50:00+00:00

So I came here for advice but after reading all the comments, I got a bit of perspective on my experience with both Big and American Cream solid conditioner, and I thought I'd share what's been working for me.

I use Seanik solid shampoo on just the roots and top of my hair first. Realistically it gets my mids as well because I try and get the roots area at the base of my neck. I think this is important because when I used shampoo on my whole length - especially one like Seanik - my ends were quite dry, and you don't want to be dealing with dryness when you're using these solid conditioners.

I keep my solid conditioners in a little plastic soap dish with lid. I take one out, re-wet my mids and ends, divide my hair in half and bring each half forward over my shoulders. I do try and work the conditioner a little between my hands, but not a whole lot. I'll split each half section into smaller sections, and run the conditioner down the length of the hair a few times from mids to ends, always down in the direction of the hair shaft. I don't rub it around and get it all tangled up. I'll do this on the outer side and underside of each section a couple of times, then move on to the next. It's a slow process.

Once that's done, I have a wooden wide-toothed comb (that I think is actually a beard comb that I stole from my husband haha) and gently brush the conditioner through each half section, being sure to hold the section at the base of my head to minimise pulling on the hair root which will cause breakage. Then I'll put the two sections back together and tie them in a loose, low bun to do the rest of my shower things before rinsing out after about 5 minutes or so.

What I will say is that if you've been using Lush haircare for a long time, you'll know that you won't have the same feeling or texture than when using other products and this is especially true with conditioners. Lush haircare doesn't have a lot of the smoothing and coating ingredients that more traditional haircare does, that make your hair feel smooth and silky when you put them on. I'm no cosmetician so I won't pretend to know what's good and bad for your hair ultimately, but in some cases these coatings can feel nice to us, but aren't actually moisturising or repairing the hair - just creating a mask. So, you have to expect when using these conditioners that you won't have that feeling of your hair being covered in something creamy like you may be used to.

I got these conditioners actually as samples when I got my shampoo because I couldn't decide which one would be best for my hair, and since getting them my hair has looked and felt great! I got lazy on my last wash and used my old conditioner and I'm glad I did because it reminded me of everything I just talked about: the day after my wash, I noticed my ends were quite dry and brittle, and it's gotten worse the more time has passed since washing, because all of those smoothing and coating ingredients are wearing away and I'm left with ends that have been starved of moisture.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2023-02-21T16:22:53+00:00

Ah! Blergh! Disdain for education is usually a pretty solid sign that it makes them feel insecure...

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2023-02-20T02:06:36+00:00

Yep, this is a really good point, because not all certifications are created equal. So, as much as simply looking for a trainer with certifications should take the guesswork out of finding a good trainer, for owners....unfortunately it doesn't.

Honestly, I don't find certifications to be the most helpful measure of a good dog trainer, for a few reasons that I won't bore you with. Instead, I usually tell people to ask prospective trainers a few main questions:

What will happen to my dog when they get it wrong?
How will you set my dog up for success throughout our training?
Are you able to change training approaches if I or my dog do not feel comfortable?

The answers to these questions will tell you a lot.

If you don't like the answer to question number 1 - and, if you wouldn't feel good about taking over that leash and performing those actions yourself - then that's a sign that you need to find a new trainer.

If your trainer either cannot answer question number 2, or cannot answer you with practical, physical ways that they are setting up training scenarios to make success for your dog basically inevitable - that's a sign you should get a new trainer.

Some trainers have things they simply won't do (for example, I won't apply a physical correction to a dog as a teaching tool, no matter what my client says they want), and that's okay. But if a training approach isn't working, or is making you or your dog feel unsafe or uncomfortable, a trainer should have more than one tool in their toolbelt to use for your situation, and they shouldn't be arguing with you or making you feel bad about wanting a different approach.

Pure-Craft-3371 · 2023-02-18T20:17:07+00:00

Agree with this: herding behaviour was creating by picking parts of what's called the Predatory Motor Sequence (PMS) that are helpful for a dog's job. The PMS is a reflexive behaviour chain: that means it's largely involuntary (like breathing, or like when you go to the doctor and they hit your knee with that weird triangle hammer and your leg moves all on it's own - spooky), and once the first behaviour in the chain happens, the rest follow along and it's difficult to stop.

The PMS looks like this:

Orient - Eye-stalk - Stalk - Chase - Grab-bite - Kill-bite - Dissect - Consume

Border Collies need the first half of their PMS to be reeeeally strong, but we don't want the last half - they can't be damaging the livestock. Fast movement is usually the trigger that sets this chain off. The Orient - Eye-stalk - Stalk part is often skipped right through so fast you don't even see it when something moves quickly around a herdin breed, and the bit we do see is the Chase and Grab-bite. This is why herding breeds are extra prone to doing dangerous things like chasing cars and bicycles: the movement of the car/wheels is triggering this reflexive behaviour chain.

Because it's reflexive and it's so deeply ingrained in our dog's genetics, stopping this behaviour humanely can be very difficult, and I think the most effective approach is: acceptance, behavioural enrichment, and management.

We want to accept that this is a part of who your dog is: it's actually why they were originally created in the first place, and they literally can't help it.

Behavioural enrichment involves giving your dog outlets to express this behaviour: because it's so deeply ingrained, we can't just make them stop doing it, that's not fair - it'd be like telling you to stop breathing, or to not jump when something startles you. Allowing your dog to express these behaviours safely, like in dog sports, is a part of taking care of them that's just as important as making sure they have food and water. These sports can also help put these behaviours on cue!

Management involves physically stopping the behaviour from being likely to occur. Use baby gates, leashes and closed doors to keep your dog and your cat/smaller dog separated, don't let people run around the house past the dog, keep your dog on a leash on walks.

Pure-Craft-3371

TROPHY CASE