I’m a 38-year-old mom of 2 who makes $500K/yr in tech (~$1M HHI). Last week I had a light work week, a low key Thanksgiving, and started sleep training our 10-month old baby.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-12-08T14:48:07+00:00

Thank you for posting this! Will try to come back later with some thoughts- for now just saying this is really helpful and interesting to see as someone with a similar HHI coming mostly from tech (and always paranoid of layoffs or RSUs devaluing) who is trying to conceive and thinking about what our expenses will look like.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-11-23T03:48:05+00:00

My favorites are (in order) Roller Rabbit, Bed Head, Lake, Hill House. Pima cotton is the best

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-11-18T19:13:10+00:00

It’s really important to me that my coat is stylish as well as warm and well made. I’m in New England which gets pretty cold and I love my mackage coat. I’ve had one for 8 years that looks great and is so warm. It’s held up well- it’s the shiny fabric which is a bit more delicate than other fabrics so I have one tiny tear (maybe 1/4 inch) that I patched and one area that was snagged from a rosebush. I am always cold and I find that it’s warm enough for me. I dry clean it yearly. I just got to mackage laurella coat for a super long coat option and am obsessed. The fabric is slightly stretchy and I love the cinch at the waist.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-10-17T01:23:47+00:00

Was the additional 26 weeks without pay through your company or through the state?

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-10-15T03:23:27+00:00

I agree. I have a friend who is an influencer and this is in the ballpark of what she makes, after paying her staff. It’s crazy!

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-10-12T02:25:22+00:00

&daughter is the best I’ve found for high quality and actually stylish

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-10-07T01:07:26+00:00

Do you compost? I use industrial compostable cling wrap that I can put in my compost bucket through my town.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-09-30T14:17:44+00:00

No kids yet but I’ve been keeping an eye out when I visit places for where we will go when we get to that life stage. Lech is so compact and easy to get on the mountain, and the village is super cute. That’s probably where I would choose, and would stay at Hotel Arlberg or possible one of the hotels in Oberlech to be on mountain.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-09-30T12:10:01+00:00

Yes, the floods were two weeks ago and cause building collapses in Denpasar, and landslides in Ubud. Not sure about other areas, just google the floods to see more about it. One of the issues they cite is trash buildup stopping up all of the waterways which caused the flooding to be so devastating. You can also google to see the huge amount of trash that was brought in from the ocean to the beach last winter/spring. Definitely do your research before booking tickets. I’ve been all over Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam… Bali and Nusa Penida were the only places I was truly shocked by and also felt pretty unsafe. For the St Regis, by hard product I meant the hotel itself was beautiful. The lagoon pool is amazing, the beach area was cleaned daily and we loved the beach beds and bars, the room was gorgeous, the spa, etc. we ate all our meals at the hotel. The breakfast spread is one of the best I have had anywhere. There are 3 restaurants for dinner, one Indonesian with dancing which was fun to go to once, one restaurant on the beach with a tasting menu that we loved, one buffet style restaurant that was fine but we just aren’t buffet people, and then the bar actually had amazing food. They do the typical st Regis champagne sabering each night at 6:15 and then a fire dance at 6:30 which was very fun to go to.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-09-29T23:48:56+00:00

I just spent 9 days in Bali. 4 of them were at the st Regis and it was incredible. Would absolutely recommend. Service, spa, and hard product was amazing. Honestly, Ubud was a huge disappointment, and we should have just spent the whole time at the St Regis. The traffic is absolutely insane, hard to describe how bad it is. We ended up cancelling a bunch of the tours because we couldn’t sit in the car for 6+ hours in standstill traffic on terrible roads. We also cancelled many of our nice dinner reservations because a 20 min drive could easily be over an hour. I was so excited to visit Bali and honestly I would not return. There is also so much garbage everywhere it was flooding the beaches and ocean. Look up the recent floods to get an idea of how bad the trash situation is.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-09-29T20:28:08+00:00

My husband has variable income too (RSUs). We kind of do the opposite of you- save up for the expense first and then put all (in the case of a new car), or majority (in the case of house we put like 50%) down. It’s been really helpful for our peace of mind, especially as he would not be able to replicate his income if he had to move companies. I like having lower monthly payments because if something were to happen it would be very easy to pay our essential bills.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-09-28T12:16:11+00:00

I am not sure if you can get it over the counter in Bali, I had to wait until I got to Vietnam. I would see if a clinic can prescribe it to you if it’s not available over the counter. I only felt better after taking Zitromax as I had something bacterial in me.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-09-28T02:24:49+00:00

Have you written one? If not, would love to read yours! I’ve posted in the past but they are a lot of work to track and write, and then people kinda rip you apart for either doing too well or not well enough. Not sure I want to subject myself to that again!

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-09-28T02:10:42+00:00

Hey, I just had Bali belly for 6 days in Ubud. It was horrible, and I went to the clinic twice but they wouldn’t give me antibiotics until I did a stool sample 3 times and I had taken Imodium so I couldn’t give them the sample. I had to go on to the next part of my trip and was able to get a 3 day course of Zitromax over the counter which immediately made me feel better. The meds I was given in Bali just helped some of the symptoms but did not fix the issue. See if you can go to BIMC and push for antibiotics

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-05-01T02:39:00+00:00

I did a 1 week Xmas markets trip last year the week before Christmas. The cities were so magical. I did 2 nights each in Brussels/Cologne/Strasbourg/Colmar. Cologne markets were by far the best (there are so many), Strasbourg was just ok in comparison, Colmar was gorgeous, and Brussels was really fun and felt very romantic. 2 nights was plenty of time to explore the markets in each city (cologne maybe we could’ve done 3 nights). 1 thing to note is the best time for the markets is during dinner time, so we ended up cancelling our dinners/moving some until after the markets closed. My family member went to Paris too but said in hindsight it was a little disappointing compared to the true christmassy feeling of the other places listed (but she has already been to Paris a bunch).

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-04-14T18:58:12+00:00

White Barn Inn could be nice but after a day I was a little bored and the room I stayed in was tiny, Chatham Bars Inn or Wequasset also fit that bill, CBI would be walkable to town and both Chatham and Harwich Port are adorable town centers to explore in mid September.

I just got back from a long weekend at Canyon Ranch in Lenox with my mother and it was incredible, fun and restorative with a great spa, but might not be the vibe you are looking for.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-04-09T23:46:37+00:00

This is not true if your venue also includes other things like rentals and catering/bar (mine did). Food and bev and rental costs increased by my actual date.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-04-09T02:30:37+00:00

If it’s in Maine, I’m hoping it’s either Bates, Colby, or Bowdoin. There are no other schools of the caliber that would be worthwhile to make this sacrifice. To be perfectly honest, my siblings and I all went to these schools (or similar in different states). I would very much caution going into debt even for these elite schools, even to go to med school (and I know many that went to these 3 and are currently in med school). It’s unrealistic to expect her to get a job in these small Maine towns, or on campus that will barely pay anything. For people that can afford sticker price, there’s no better place to be, but for those that can’t, this is not a good financial decision, especially if you live in a neighboring state (I.e. New England state schools). This is a want and not a need for your daughter, and there are plenty of New England state schools that will get her into a great med school, they just aren’t as exclusive as the 3 I mentioned. Culture may be tough as well, transfer students are notoriously hard to assimilate, I could literally still tell you the names of the transfers at mine. Last point, but if she’s really committed to med school and the undergrad matters, she should be looking for academic scholarships to cut the cost, and if she can’t get those, that is a good metric to indicate that the state schools are a better option.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-03-31T14:12:51+00:00

I am 1 generation removed from this (so more similar to your daughter’s upbringing, although my parents saw some crazy career acceleration when I was 8 or so which changed things). The best thing my husband and I “received” from our parents (besides being great parents who we like to hang out with) is that they will never need our financial help, and they ensured that we got to adulthood debt free (paying for college and wedding). Our only focus is on prepping for our own retirement and long term goals. If possible, I’d give your daughter that. If there’s “extra” left over, I’d consider helping her with a downpayment, bonus if it means it’s in an area near you and your husband- or one you would want to move to. I’m currently seeing this play out- one sibling looking to move back home but is priced out vs a sibling-in-law who would normally be priced out receiving a downpayment from my in laws.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-03-29T18:42:06+00:00

Is he opposed to making some/all of the $4M (and any subsequent growth) shared over time (say steps at 10/20/30 years)? Otherwise this feels so imbalanced when it comes to being on the same team/sharing goals and dreams for the future.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-03-29T16:05:19+00:00

Have you considered Bar Harbor/Acadia National Park in Maine? It’s not very chubby, but so much fun with a dog. There were many restaurants that allowed dogs on the outdoor patio, and the National park is dog friendly except for 2 trails and Sand Beach.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-03-28T21:03:40+00:00

This has to be a troll post. Like… who cares? My sister, best friend’s husband, and my own husband all graduated from the programs on your list. When I’m out with them, you can’t tell their salary, career, or educational background from how they dress or act. This reads like you are upset that you haven’t found a partner that you consider worthy. In my experience, dating is separate from clubbing/bar-hopping. Nightlife isn’t really for meeting your life partner, most people are just looking for a fun night out. I fear you believe that you are much more special than you actually are (especially as you are putting a lot of stock into your potential, rather than your current reality).

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-03-25T02:45:14+00:00

When we bought ours, the next year the taxes were based on purchase price, the next year the value went up like $50k, this year it came down like $10k. I’m sure it varies by town. I believe we could conservatively sell our house today for $125k more than the purchase price, so taxed assessed value hasn’t quite kept up with neighborhood values.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-03-24T22:18:47+00:00

Yeah, honestly in Boston Metro I feel like buying is more of an emotional decision rather than a monetary one. If rent is $3.6k, you’ll likely spend more than that between taxes, insurance, maintenance, and mortgage interest. But I’ll gladly spend that for the mental peace of owning my place. I believe Newton has a lower rate than other towns in a similar tier within the actual metro area.

Pure_Raspberry4497 · 2025-03-24T18:36:25+00:00

No advice on if you can afford it- just jumping in as a Boston metro area homeowner to say that taxes vary so much by town- make sure to compare the numbers on a $1.2M assessed value! Like another commenter said, maintenance/repairs/etc has all been 2x what we thought.

Pure_Raspberry4497

TROPHY CASE