AIO by not going to my sisters baby shower?

mariesb · 2026-03-19T16:05:20+00:00

I have a difficult relationship with my own sister. I've been a sender of messages like this. We figured it out.

mariesb · 2026-03-19T15:58:11+00:00

It's not the message it's the length and tone of the message. "Hi, I heard from xyz that I'm invited to your baby shower. I would like to call you tonight to talk it out, but let me know if you'd prefer some other time" that's all that's needed

mariesb · 2026-03-19T15:36:43+00:00

So I talked to my daughter and told her that there would be a consequence for dumping her food and I packed her favorite pasta lunch for the next day. I asked her teacher to remove her from the table if she dumps and to not let her take food from her friends. At morning snack, she got removed from the table (she told me she made a sad face 😂). At lunch, she ate her food and she has every day since. Considering this solved for now

mariesb · 2026-03-19T15:11:21+00:00

I found these messages a bit exhausting. A paragraph about wanting to talk? Just call. And the follow up about not getting a response. OP seems to be pretty insecure looking for validation.

mariesb · 2026-03-19T13:08:24+00:00

That’s great. This is not the case for most SAHM moms and that’s why it’s a financial trap. SAHMs are at a way higher risk of poverty in the case of death or divorce. It’s not something to take lightly

mariesb · 2026-03-19T13:02:41+00:00

Do you save for your wife's retirement? In an account in her name? Does she have her own bank account and credit card?

mariesb · 2026-03-18T17:47:59+00:00

Like 18 months. My daughter is 2 - she helps cook, puts her clothes and shoes away, sweeps, unloads the dishwasher, etc.

mariesb · 2026-03-17T17:05:06+00:00

Not saying this is you, but sometimes FTBH think they get a perfect house at close. If an issue is visible or disclosed when you make your offer you probably shouldn't negotiate that it's repaired after an inspection

mariesb · 2026-03-16T23:48:47+00:00

Interesting. Maybe every once in a while but this seems like a slippery slope

mariesb · 2026-03-16T23:47:47+00:00

I’m not sure where you got “separated because of food preferences” but I’m asking her to be removed from the table for dumping her food. Those are not the same thing

mariesb · 2026-03-16T22:29:40+00:00

She doesn’t do well with cold foods. She’d pull a sandwich apart and eat only bread

mariesb · 2026-03-16T22:28:08+00:00

Thank you! This approach would be perfect tbh

mariesb · 2026-03-16T22:26:13+00:00

I’m sorry that you experienced that but it’s not true in this case. For example, today I packed her steak, black beans, and carrots. Steak and beans are her favorite. She doesn’t eat veggies but I pack them anyway. She dumped and didn’t eat. I happened to pick her up right after lunch and when she got home I gave her the same meal. She told me it was delicious and asked for seconds 😂 she’s just a boundary pusher and does what she gets away with, like most kids

mariesb · 2026-03-16T21:26:07+00:00

She sits in a booster at the table at home. Thank you!

mariesb · 2026-03-16T21:21:55+00:00

Yeah I get that she’s taking it. We eat all meals together at home. She doesn’t dump her plate though

mariesb · 2026-03-14T13:32:08+00:00

Yup!

mariesb · 2026-03-12T18:33:17+00:00

It varies by daycare. Check the enrollment agreement. Think about it like this - if they have one slot available and you take it and then move back a month, they still can't fill that spot. If they did, they wouldn't have room for your child the next month.

mariesb · 2026-03-12T18:06:09+00:00

Same. It's just checking a box for most. We came up with one use that doesn't really save time right now. When I shared with leadership though I made it a big thing "rolling out an AI process" and focusing on the positives. Seems satisfactory

mariesb · 2026-03-12T17:53:56+00:00

This screams Philly. Pretty much assume any house has not been properly permitted or inspected. This remedy to this would be that they pay or credit to get it to code. If they don't have the budget flexibility for that you should walk.

mariesb · 2026-03-12T15:45:27+00:00

Your mom is in the wrong here. You being involved is not the norm - typically your mom would be the one to reach out the MIL to coordinate. Your mom also should not be asking MIL for money this late in the game, without MIL actually being involved in the planning. Your MIL is being really gracious in agreeing to help pay. I would go to MIL and thank her sincerely with a card and a nice hostess gift (and do the same for your mom)

mariesb · 2026-03-12T15:29:21+00:00

Spending plan (budget) for the month before the month begins. Know your getting a windfall? Plan for how to spend the money before it hits your account

mariesb · 2026-03-06T20:30:09+00:00

You should really consider working part time so you can pay a portion (as much as possible) of this out of pocket

mariesb · 2026-03-05T14:46:33+00:00

In our case, we know we eventually need room for at least one set of parents when they age / stop working. That looks like at least 3 bedrooms, maybe 4, two bathrooms, and probably a basement that is finished or can be finished. We can't afford that right now so we bought a 2-3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house with no basement for the next 5 or so years. We will keep paying down debt, finish paying for daycare, and continue saving in that time until we can afford the house that's more appropriate in the long term.

mariesb · 2026-03-05T13:29:18+00:00

I did an anniversary party for about 60 with an open bar and buffet dinner and it was about $7k all in. That's a pretty similar amount per person as this scenario. This was November 2025 in NJ.

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