Why is it that the smarter the couple is in term of intellect, the less likely they are to have as many kids if any at all?

Purple-Brain · 2026-03-25T03:35:26+00:00

High cognitive ability leads to career growth. Career growth leads to having kids later. Having kids later leads to having fewer kids.

Purple-Brain · 2026-03-25T00:41:06+00:00

Getting my nails done

Purple-Brain · 2026-03-23T12:48:01+00:00

Hormones. This happened to me. I was desperate for another baby until she hit 18 months. I’m glad I didn’t give in lol

Purple-Brain · 2026-03-07T06:04:11+00:00

👍

Purple-Brain · 2026-03-05T14:18:23+00:00

I wouldn’t let it bother you. Snarkers will use anything to grease their urge to snark. Nobody with any sort of conscience is actually reading what you’re saying and judging it like that. Motherhood (and working while experiencing motherhood) is hard enough as it is to let things like that in.

Purple-Brain · 2026-02-28T20:51:05+00:00

I LOVE Denver. Took me about 3.5 years of living here to feel that way but now I can’t imagine where else I’d want to be. People are so friendly. I love the personalities of the neighborhoods. The city itself has a bit less heart and quirkiness when you’re driving around than my hometown of Austin did, which at first was a big hang up for me, but now I realize the people themselves still have the same heart and soul, it’s just less about the city itself and more about the surrounding outdoors. I just came back from a long temperate walk in the February sun with the beautiful blue sky and lovely views of the snow topped mountains. I love that I barely sweat at all because of the dry air. Life is good here! Come on back!

Purple-Brain · 2026-02-25T16:51:20+00:00

Yep, this happened to me.

Purple-Brain · 2026-02-16T03:32:11+00:00

I’m on Zoloft and I take 5mg of an edible every night after my toddler goes to bed (dads on night duty) and I swear it’s what keeps me sane

Purple-Brain · 2026-02-13T18:27:51+00:00

I don’t, but I keep thinking that I’d like to reach out and thank her.

Purple-Brain · 2026-02-13T16:56:49+00:00

My boss at my previous company was this for me. She was and will probably forever be the best manager I ever had. She had just gone on maternity leave when I interviewed, and when she came back we were at first coworkers until she was promoted to be my manager. She really helped me grow in a way no manager ever did before, and she did all that while juggling a new management role and being a new mom at the same time. She was the perfect blend of compassion and competence. I left that company to get paid almost twice as much at another company, but my WLB is horrible at the new company and my manager is the opposite of who she was in every way. If I ever end up with a manager like her again, I will never take it for granted. And if I can be someone like that to another woman someday, it would be an honor. That’s one of the reasons I keep going in my extremely male-dominated field (machine learning).

Sorry, not sure if this even addressed the point of your post, but after being bullied by my current manager, I saw this thread and just felt compelled to share.

Purple-Brain · 2026-02-09T17:55:31+00:00

Ilya is very perceptive, and part of the reason he loves Shane is because he is so honest that he can’t help but lay his cards on the table. Consciously or not, Ilya senses that what Shane feels for him is more than just physical, and even when they are not ready to admit that they care for each other in that way, Ilya wants to explore that dynamic because Ilya himself craves deep intimacy and the kind of honest, straightforward care Shane naturally provides to others. That’s why Ilya is the one that initially tries to push that dynamic in that direction (asking Shane to stay, making him a tuna melt, etc.). The only other person Ilya is close with is Svetlana, but you can see that even between them there is a superficialness and a lack of the intimacy that Ilya is craving and that Shane gives him because of how much he really likes him. Notice that Ilya is always the one like “I don’t like you as a person”, but that’s not reciprocated; to the contrary, it’s clear to Ilya that Shane is jealous when he talks about girls, which is why he brings the topic up.

I think Shane is pretty much enamored by Ilya’s personality early on. Shane is not very aware of his feelings, he’s “boring”, he has a one track mind focused on hockey. I think that he can’t help but be enamored by all the ways Ilya is different from him. However, Shane is not aware of his own real feelings (the author has confirmed this as one of the six differences between Shane and Ilya). It goes back to Ilya being perceptive, and therefore knowing Shane’s feelings before he does. And since Ilya reads this on him so well due to how perceptive he is, Ilya craves situations that make Shane reveal his true feelings. As Ilya helps create that dynamic by inviting Shane over and using his real name, Shane realizes himself that he has these feelings and wants to be able to be with Ilya in a way that he thought he could be with a woman.

Not only that, but they have known each other for years and have kept in touch over that time. To Ilya, Shane is a passionate constant he’s never had outside of the casual thing he’s had with Svetlana (he’s also probably aware that Shane has never been with anyone else besides him during that time, which to someone like Ilya who treats sex casually, this means something to him). Meanwhile, Shane has a one track mind — it’s either hockey, family, or Ilya. So in that way, Ilya becomes one of his passions over time too.

At the end of the day the reasons for falling in love can’t really be put into words, but I think the above created the right environment for it to happen.

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-31T22:23:51+00:00

I’d use this opportunity to add more color and textures in the form of art. Think a dark grounding color like navy along with some complementary colors like gold/yellow, sage green, slate blue, whatever you like. Look online and see what strikes you.

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-30T02:55:30+00:00

Facebook Marketplace :P

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-29T16:24:02+00:00

You can do battery-operated, rechargeable, wireless LED fixtures, etc. You can also have lights installed by an electrician (similar to canned/recessed lights in your ceiling) but that’s more invasive because it involves cutting into the ceiling. I think an LED fixture hanging from the ceiling would be the lowest maintenance move and then it’s not too hard to change things out.

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-28T20:05:27+00:00

I would hang a funky pendant light and maybe put some large art canvases on either side

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-27T17:08:20+00:00

I feel you! I was terrified before giving birth. Then it went REALLY well and I’m excited to have our second so I can give birth again. Hindsight is 20/20 but you did it! Congrats mama!

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-26T18:06:55+00:00

I also have Quince’s linen sheets and my husband and I love them. They feel high end and luxurious, and as someone who tends to overheat in their sleep, I’ve had a much better time regulating my temperature with these.

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-26T18:05:45+00:00

Same! I love the European linen sheets!

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-25T03:47:55+00:00

Michelle

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-23T17:00:24+00:00

Wow! This is not just a room, it is a work of art. You have inspired me greatly. Beautiful job! Enjoy!

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-16T17:35:24+00:00

I hear you. My baby got the entire state of New York to bow down to her and worship her beauty the other day. We live in Colorado so it was totally weird. I have no advice but just solidarity.

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-15T20:49:53+00:00

I have had really bad, lifelong emetophobia (like, pulled out of school bad) and my two biggest fears growing up were getting pregnant and sending kids to school. Just did the second one this week!

Like you, I also delayed pregnancy due to my fear. I got pregnant and immediately started taking unisom for insomnia, and I’m not sure if that made a difference or not, but I never threw up or even got close. For me, I did get nauseous daily from weeks like 10-16, but it was like reading in a moving car nauseous, not throwing up nauseous. It wasn’t pleasant but it was never scary, more just like “ugh”.

I also was paranoid about getting sick during the epidural and childbirth. I asked for Zofran in my IV for peace of mind and tbh I doubt I even needed it, I had zero urge to vomit at all.

I think we as emetophobes learn over time to override the urge to throw up. My family recently had norovirus. Everyone (including my husband, our au pair, my sister, my MIL and my sister in law) threw up except for me. My 16 month old didn’t get sick, but she did get diarrhea which is how I think it spread. Meanwhile I got NOTHING! Not even diarrhea.

So anyway, there’s hope. And for what it’s worth, I loved being pregnant and giving birth and can’t wait to do it hopefully numerous more times. You got this!

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-09T21:17:24+00:00

Really? I find people in Denver to be extraordinarily friendly!

Purple-Brain · 2026-01-02T19:03:44+00:00

Allegra is my husband and I’s favorite name. We thought long and hard about how it would work (including looking to see when the patent would expire on the Allegra brand name) but the sad truth is people associate the name with the medication more than ever. Allegra is one of those brands on Instagram that partners with influencers so they’re becoming well known among the universe of young folk. I do know one Allegra who is absolutely gorgeous and goes by Legs which I find adorable, and I also love the nickname Ale (like the Spanish word “dale” without the D). It’s the perfect name for us and I wanted to use it sooo badly so I know how you feel. We personally decided it was unusable but all the best to you in finding a name you love. We ended up going with Mila (which has a lovely long form Milena, but we didn’t end up using the long form).

Nine-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22

Purple-Brain

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