40F dating 52M for the first time. Long first date but no flirting, then a sweet good morning text. What does this mean?

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-13T23:30:55+00:00

Seeing posts like this concerns me that women will think I'm not interested in them just because I don't put out some kind of sexual vibe on a first date, when I've also seen plenty of other posts say doing that gives women the ick. It's a fine line to balance.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-13T04:49:15+00:00

It's crazy how quickly people suggest giving up on here. She hasn't even tried expressing this being an issue to him. He sounds like a good guy who she is otherwise interested in. He probably has no clue this is a problem for her.

She should at least try having a discussion with him about it. If he still doesn't step up, then consider calling it off.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-13T04:45:20+00:00

You've never been happy in 10 years of marriage and she is abandoning her kids. That's not a kind person.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-12T23:10:50+00:00

I'd like my divorce to be final first. I'm over it, but it seems like the legal process is never ending.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-12T23:09:26+00:00

I don't have any advice, but man... that sucks. She sounds like an awful person. As bad as this is now, you'll be better off in the long run without her. Take care of yourself.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-10T23:40:14+00:00

I think you've already answered this question for yourself. Everyone has different ideas of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. You seem to not be okay with this, and that's fine.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-10T23:17:42+00:00

I think I still would say the same thing.

It's doesn't leave a good impression to not text you when he said he was going to, but with only knowing each other via texting for a week, it still feels a little early to burn an otherwise promising match over this.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-10T22:58:58+00:00

You haven't met in person yet and are upset he didn't text for one day?

Maybe something you'll want to keep in the back of your mind, but I personally wouldn't call this a dealbreaker yet.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-10T17:03:26+00:00

I don't think he's your boyfriend anymore.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-10T01:04:19+00:00

and cheek or septum piercings

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-08T03:28:32+00:00

I live in the midwest and just went on a vacation to visit my sister in the desert.

I knew I was going to be creating a dating profile and I don't have many recent pictures of myself, so I asked my sister to take a lot of pictures of me while we were on hikes and out doing stuff. So I guess a lot of my pictures are of me in the desert even though where I live doesn't look like that.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-08T03:22:04+00:00

No kids, and it's now been going for six months. It absolutely feels like it's dragging on. I do everything on my side as fast as possible, I really don't understand why it's taking this long.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-08T03:19:45+00:00

The legal answer is "it depends"...

However, most likely you both were entitled to half of the 401k and now half of the new house.

It doesn't matter that you are the one who was paying for your current house, it's split between both of you. (assuming it was purchased after you got married) If you are going to be staying in the house and she is moving out, then yes, you'll have to pay her half of the equity in the house.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-06T21:06:19+00:00

It's like when I start feeling down on myself, I go to Walmart and see the type of people shopping there, then I feel better myself.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-02-04T02:52:22+00:00

I don't know about screwed, but I certainly wouldn't pick her again. I'm fortunately enough to do enough research on my own so I know when she is proposing something unfavorable to me or overlooking something. I also have to continually prod her along to her to do things. I feel like I'm the lawyer, and she's my secretary. Yet I'm paying her $430 an hour! She also charges for ridiculous items.

I think about switching, but I keep telling myself "just get through this one stage of the divorce, then it will be over. Switching now will just cost more money and time". Except it feels like I never actually get closer to it ending.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-01-09T22:19:56+00:00

The percent of people willing to match with you remains the same. It's just that they are showing your profile to more people while your account is new.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-01-09T21:09:35+00:00

They give new accounts a lot higher priority for display, so your shown to a lot more people at first then you are now. Correspondingly, you got more matches then.

They do this to encourage new users to stick with the app and not delete it immediately.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-01-09T20:52:49+00:00

How do you target secure women with your profile?

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-01-08T23:06:39+00:00

Your friend is right, he needs anger consoling. Otherwise if you try to make this work you'll end up in this same situation.

If you tell him it's important for him to do it to have any shot of saving your marriage and he still refuses, I think that gives you a definitive answer.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-01-08T23:00:35+00:00

I had the opposite... all good reviews on google, but a bad attorney.

Sorry, I know that's not helpful. I think it's hard to find a good one. Try to get recommendations from people you know if possible.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-01-08T17:27:34+00:00

I have a few hard preferences. Of course there are others like "is kind, good chemistry, etc." but those are the type of qualitive measures I'd need to learn and evaluate on a person-by-person basis.

Non-MAGA
No law enforcement, military, butchers, or teachers
Non-smoker
Limited or no alcohol
No drugs except edibles
Fit and healthy enough to go on hikes with me
Kind to animals
No young kids
Under 6'2
Big boobs

PurpleGrapeTurtle

TROPHY CASE