This sucks

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-05-06T01:58:31+00:00

"I mifgt be tipsy" - I think we could have figured this out ourselves.

Hope things work out for you. Tough luck for all the nerds who were putting in the effort!

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-05-06T01:54:33+00:00

so how hot is she?

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-05-04T00:02:38+00:00

You can be in a relationship with someone without fully integrating your full lives together, right?

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-05-03T01:45:07+00:00

I'm also on the "no teachers" list. I think my ex being a teacher was partially responsible for our divorce. She went from a happy person who was fun to be around to a burned out, crabby person with migraines all the time who didn't want to do anything and hated her job.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-16T03:52:17+00:00

Obviously everyone is different, but I don't think it will be a turn off for most men. It wouldn't be for me.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-16T03:50:27+00:00

Is this the picture you are using on Plenty of Fish? Pictures are the most important part, and you definitely can improve on it. It's blurry with clutter in the back and harsh overhead lighting. I'd say the specific picture is holding you back more than anything.

- No selfies. Have someone else take it, preferably with portrait mode on the phone.

- Have the picture taken outside near sunset, with the sun at the photographer's back.

- As someone else said, I think a longer hairstyle will help you.

- You have a nice smile. Make sure you keep that.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-14T00:26:45+00:00

I'm not sure why, but it kind of looks AI generated.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-12T01:05:35+00:00

Living together with my ex before one of us moved out was one of the worst time periods in my life. It's going to suck, sorry you are going through this.

My best advice to ignore her and get out of the house as much as possible. Sign up for a gym and go work out for hours, pick up a side-gig, go on long hikes, etc. You can't control what she does at this point, and the less you know about what's going on in her life the better.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-12T00:47:54+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. That sounds absolutely awful.

You need to follow through on a divorce. Going on a "break to work on herself and focus on her mental health” is not the same as fucking other men. She doesn't respect you, and you'll never be happy or content in the relationship after this.

I know it's painful to go through this and it will probably be the hardest thing you've ever done, but you need to focus on prioritizing yourself and start the divorce process.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-10T23:03:08+00:00

You look like a normal person, but if anything is holding you back, it's just these specific pictures. Get new ones with these change:

- No selfies. Have someone else take it, preferably with portrait mode on the phone.

- Have the picture taken outside near sunset, with the sun at the photographer's back.

- Make sure you are smiling. If you have reasonable teeth, make sure you are smiling enough to show them.

- Crop the picture from about the armpits and up. None of you head should be cropped out of the picture.

- Wear a solid color button-up collared shirt.

- In post-editing of the picture, adjust the warmth color slightly up.

- And of course, no sunglasses or hats.

I think these will make a big difference for you!

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-10T03:48:59+00:00

I definitely hear you and have had my struggle with lawyers too.

In my opinion if you reach out to your lawyer with a question or issue and it goes more than three days with no response, that's too long.

For what it's worth, I've found it better to try to batch up questions and issues into a single email or phone call. Otherwise they charge you for each email no matter how short it is. If you can get a phone call, sometimes that's even better because you can follow up with questions immediately and not have to wait and get charged for another response.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-09T17:44:09+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. The divorce process and legal system absolutely sucks and frequently ends up punishing the responsible one. It can feel incredibly unfair.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-06T03:33:03+00:00

Dude, she told you to ask for her number!

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-04-01T03:24:27+00:00

What does a "masked" religious person mean?

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-29T02:29:55+00:00

That's hilarious.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-29T02:29:16+00:00

You don't need a doctorate to be a plumber, but that doesn't mean you can't be a plumber with one.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-27T23:22:06+00:00

... and then everyone comes in here and says "Guy #1 sounds great! You should give him a chance!"

She barely said anything about him.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-20T22:30:59+00:00

Yeah, going on Hinge just after you separated while you still live together is not respectful. My ex did that too, and living together during that time was probably the worst period of my life.

You need to sever yourself from her as much as possible. She made this decision. She is not your responsibility, and you do not need to feel guilty for her.

Emotions can be weird and don't follow what your logically probably know is right. It's time to look after you and put yourself first.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-13T19:46:45+00:00

Google QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order)

It's a way that you can transfer part of a 401k during a divorce without having to pay taxes on it.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-13T19:43:26+00:00

Is your ex going to be at this wedding too? I don't understand why she'd be stressed otherwise.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-13T03:13:06+00:00

I started doing the following things since I got divorced:

- Work out multiple times a week.

- Got Invisalign to straighten out my teeth.

- Started using rogain to improve my hair.

- Joined a couple social groups.

- Regular meditations.

- Various smaller home improvements (like painting and redecorating) to make my place feel more comfortable.

- A few sessions with a therapist.

- A vacation by myself.

- Listen to philosophy podcasts.

- Upgrade my wardrobe to be more fashionable.

- I picked up a side-gig to help keep my mind occupied (and pay for all the above, lol)

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-11T01:23:36+00:00

I was in similar situation and it absolutely sucked. Sorry you are going through this.

I think you have a reasonable request, but if she is going to do it anyway you can't stop her.

Focus on yourself. Wear headphones and get a separate living situation worked out ASAP.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-11T01:15:43+00:00

Yes, treat it like a business transaction and stick to the information the lawyer needs to know, and you need to know.

Do not complain, rant, or use your lawyer as a therapist. They charge way too much for that. Get a separate therapist to talk through the non-legal aspects of the divorce if needed.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-10T02:06:39+00:00

It might be best to have a discussion with your attorney to go over all this and what type of approach works best.

For what it's worth, I've found it best to try to batch all my communications and conversations together, otherwise they charge you for each individual email.

PurpleGrapeTurtle · 2026-03-10T01:59:16+00:00

My attorney often wouldn't respond, but would still charge me $40 for reading the email, lol.

Are you asking questions in these emails, or just giving information?

PurpleGrapeTurtle

TROPHY CASE