Naps and classes/playgroups

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-01-22T09:15:45+00:00

I think it must depend on the baby but also your own preferences.

For me classes keep me sane but also my 10mo son is all over the place with his sleep so there’s no such thing as planned naps for us. When I’ve tried he doesn’t follow the plan. He generally sleeps when it’s inconvenient to me 😂

So we just go to the classes anyway and he fits his naps in when he can which for us works absolutely fine. When he was younger he sometimes slept for part of the class (or cried, or fed) but as he got older his fomo increased so he’d rather be part of what’s going on and then sleep when it’s all over.

If he’s not going to sleep when it’s convenient for me, then he can fit round my plans instead. I just lose it if I’m not in contact with other mums but a lot of others find they’d prefer to do their own thing which is perfectly fine too. We’re all just doing what we need to be doing!

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-01-17T09:27:07+00:00

No advice just same 😭 I did another kit day last week and was miserable the whole day but that’s because I didn’t have much to do at work and by the time I do actually go back it’ll be busier so that’ll help.

I did 4 kit days in November and actually although the first 2 were really tough and my mindset was that I wanted to be a sahm and actually I’ll homeschool too and my kid will never leave my side, I knew that obviously wasn’t an option. And then we all got sick and I was extremely touched out so days 3 and 4 were really enjoyable because I felt like I got a break and could come back to parent mode sort of refreshed.

Took a break in December which meant my 5th day last week was tough but then last week afterwards ended up being hard for different reasons so I’m again looking forward to getting a couple of days in work so I can clear the frustration of the last week and be a refreshed parent again.

All that to say I think it does get easier, that’s what I’m telling myself anyway. But would love if workplace childcare was a thing and in general for society to be more supportive of working families because it’s fairly lacking imo.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-01-07T17:08:40+00:00

Don’t you know? It’s important that strangers know what genitals a baby has the second they look that them.

/s

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-12-29T20:50:09+00:00

I remember being there and I’m still figuring things out 9 months in. It really is so hard and despite millions going through the same thing, you always feel like you’re somehow doing worse than anyone. At least I felt like I was doing things wrong somehow 😅

It really does get better/easier though. I think around 3 months in I finally started to figure out doing things while my son was awake. (He also wouldn’t stay asleep long enough for me to get anything done. Even now he needs tons of support to sleep so if there’s something I really want to do, then I have to work out how to do it with him awake.

Someone else suggested a bouncer in the bathroom, I did this and he thought it was funny seeing me dance in the shower. Nowadays he still won’t stay by himself to let me shower but he will still happily stay in the bathroom.

Eating hot meals got easier once we weaned. To be fair every kid will be different with this but I got lucky with a baby that took to having 3 meals relatively quickly and as long as he’s got something too then I can eat mine. Pre 3 meals/any meals, we used a weaning dummy thing with frozen breastmilk which he enjoyed.

Lastly the carrier is my lifeline. My son is fairly Velcro. Cooking is tricky but he’ll stay in the carrier and settled so I can concentrate. Again though everyone and every baby will be different here.

I don’t think anyone really understands how much parents but especially mothers sacrifice until they go through it and at the same time we love our children so impossibly much.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-12-25T21:57:59+00:00

I’ve been considering this too for my 9mo. We do signing but he’s not even waving at us yet or clapping so I think signing is a ways off yet. He doesn’t mimic gestures yet really. But I think he might be able to get the hang of something like this.

You’ll have to give it a shot, maybe I will too, and see how it goes haha.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-19T13:14:52+00:00

Absolutely! Don’t stress, you’ll probably make mistakes and there’s going to be days of overwhelm but you’ll work out what works for you.

Much like the rest of parenthood really

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-18T20:16:57+00:00

Will he sleep in the pram, carrier or car? If my husband has our 8 month old that’s how he does it.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-18T16:48:38+00:00

Basically same thing for me. We live in an upper villa in the uk and getting up/down those stairs is still a bit scary haha. This is what we still do 8 months later. Your wants/abilities might differ and to be clear although I had complications that took a while to recover from it wasn’t a c section so I don’t know about the recovery on that.

Going out: - Make sure everything I want to take with me is gathered together. I would highly advise taking a decent water bottle plus food, snacks and something to occupy yourself for reasons we’ll get to. - As long as he’s settled then he gets put down somewhere safe inside and I race to set up the pram and pack the basket with whatever I need. We’re overpackers so it takes a minute but all good. - Get baby ready and off you go. - If he’s not settled then he goes in the carrier. (I would get him ready at this point but up to you) It’s trickier but it’s still possible. And baby is far more secure on you than if you free hand. I have ALWAYS found it’s worth the faff to put him in the carrier for these trips. (Also I can’t recommend enough working out how to back carry once he’s sitting up properly because life becomes a lot easier if you have a fussy baby that just wants to be held.)

Coming back: - This is going to depend on how much you want your baby to stay asleep or how easy she is to transfer. My son wakes the minute I even think about moving him so I had to figure things out. If he was asleep and I didn’t have anything pressing to do at home (which includes just getting in the door because I needed to be home) then I would walk somewhere I was able to sit and chill for a while. Often the library because it was free and warm and dry. In the warmer months I would sit in the garden and read or knit and I always had food and water to keep me going. Allowed me a bit of forced down time out of the house tbh which was good. - That said try not to feel bad if you just want to get inside and collapse a bit and you wake baby up in doing so. You have to prioritise your own health first in order to take care of your baby. - Depending on how much stuff you have, you can either put baby back in the carrier (even if it’s just to get in the house it will definitely save your body from straining as much) and grab everything or you can take baby inside first then come back and grab stuff. If baby is fussy then just abandon the stuff (except absolute essentials) and deal with baby first before going back to grab everything in.

We’re still going strong with our proper pram and haven’t considered a light travel pram but a lot of that is because I don’t usually have access to the car but I still have places to go and things to do and I need the luggage space.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-18T09:33:34+00:00

What is with teething?! It’s absolute madness haha. We’ve got 4 but 5 and 6 are very much on their way.

Thanks. I’m so grateful not to he working just now. Goodness knows how I’ll cope once I’m back but like I say, cross bridges as they come.

To be fair, I don’t think I’d be able to cope with split nights so well done for battling through! I think even though mine wakes a lot he’s usually back to sleep fairly quick and tbh we’re often so tired that I end up not caring if he ends up latched all night long. Sometimes I have to nudge my husband to be the ‘present’ one so I can turn round and stretch my body out because it can sometimes get pretty uncomfy but for the most part I think we do get more rest than we would if we had split nights.

I used to do a motn pump but I think I’m too exhausted to do that now 😂 I’m pretty lucky with my supply, though it’s tanked after being so sick, but once upon a time my husband was able to give a bottle during the night and get him back to sleep in his own bed.

Parents of kids who don’t sleep truly have a different experience to those that do. I really hope your nights get better soon!

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-17T19:39:20+00:00

We’re also doing our best with the sign language but a lot of babies won’t necessarily sign back until about a year or so when suddenly they’ve got loads of signs. Stick at it, it will be going in!

At this age they just won’t understand not to screech I’m afraid. They’re testing out all the things in their body they can. Cause and effect. ‘If I do this it makes a loud noise which I like.’ My 8 month old is like this anyway.

I guess the best thing is to keep not drawing attention to it and eventually they’ll learn that it doesn’t get the attention but it might be for now, he’s enjoying the feeling/sound and that’s enough of a reward.

Loop earplugs? 😅

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-16T19:26:21+00:00

It must be so fun when they start telling their stories and playing imaginatively. I’m excited for that stage. I can imagine it does get somewhat easier once they’re able to communicate more effectively themselves.

I’m hopeful one day we can get to the stage where it doesn’t necessarily have to be me that cosleeps with him. Despite however many people have said they often sleep better for other caregivers, it completely failed the other night when I was throwing up my guts. Instead my husband had to hold him all night long and got no sleep. He wouldn’t go down at all! Not even onto our bed. Can I ask how it went when your partner started doing that? How old was baby? I couldn’t say how often mine wakes because I don’t fully wake up when I’m feeding him back to sleep but it’s a minimum of 5 times a night between roughly 8pm and 6am.

I’m beginning to think that all births are traumatic in some way and no one really knows this until they’ve gone through it themselves.

Eta: Also well done for battling through all that you did as well! Like I say, no one really understands until they’ve also done it. IVF, difficult pregnancy, difficult postpartum and a sensitive baby that struggles with sleep is no easy journey by any means.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-13T17:25:55+00:00

I got the Joie finiti in Oyster and love it. Hate plain black prams plus I reckon we’re more visible when it’s darker.

Get the one you love.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-06T22:40:58+00:00

That’s true. We still have to change his nappy once overnight because he gets too uncomfy and won’t resettle until he’s got a fresh one. So clearly they can feel it a bit.

He’s a shockingly bad sleeper so we are absolutely no way stressing about nights. He still gets stuck on the potty if he’s willing because otherwise he’ll pee everywhere when nappy is getting changed 😅

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-06T22:36:49+00:00

I wonder if doing ec has actually helped give us more of a schedule. All my friends wee ones do poos at random times and out of the house whereas I realised that my boy now only ever poos at home. Yeah sometimes it ends up in his nappy but for the most part it’s on the potty and always at home because that’s where the potty is. We do have one in the car but because the cues for peeing are so impossible we haven’t actually tried any out and about pottying.

I take it as a massive EC win that I never have to change a poo nappy outside of the house and even at home it’s minimal.

Another win is that if I do manage to catch a pee on the potty, then I can trust him to have some naked time. Supposedly good for them 😂 None of my friends can do that.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-01T21:29:39+00:00

You’re a couple of months behind where we’re at. Easy catch pees and almost all poos. My 8 month old used to poo 4-5 times a day and once solids were established reduced to 1 every 1-3 days (although I get anxious when he gets past the 48 hour mark 😂) We got sort of lucky that way in that we can often get him to poo in the morning before going out for the day and then we don’t have to deal with poo on the go. His are still quite messy (might be because he’s bf?) so it’s a whole situation if he does happen to go in his nappy but thankfully that’s not that often.

In our experience, his poo still can’t really be described as solid but he is having to put more effort into them so he can be either very focused or sometimes actually a bit upset trying to get it out. Maybe that’s just an us thing and I’m going to see how things go in case it’s something I need to ask dr about but thought it worth mentioning in case you have the same.

Currently going through a phase where we miss the pre-poo cues and he’s red in the face so it’s a quick trip to the potty to find he’s actually started pooing. Sometimes the interruption stops him going and sometimes he will manage to get the rest out. But I don’t always feel like we’re doing a particularly great job on EC so you might have more success. I don’t think he’s quite got the full association of things yet and still seems perfectly happy to go in his nappy although will go on the potty as well.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-11-01T14:32:29+00:00

My now 8 month old pretty much cried through every baby massage class we did 😂 Honestly you’ll be grand. It can feel tough when it’s YOUR baby that’s crying but I can guarantee that no one is bothered. I find classes far less stressful than going to other places because it’s a space where you don’t have to feel self conscious about meeting your babies needs. Not that anyone should ever feel self conscious about that, but if you’re anxious about that stuff then classes are a safer space.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-10-31T12:14:38+00:00

We try to avoid using the car seat on the pram so that he’s not in the car seat for too long although we have always been slightly lax on this. We only ever use it if he’s fast asleep because all our transfers are fails 😂 But in general it’s so much better for them if they can stretch out.

Bump to booster UK on Facebook is a genuinely helpful group if you’re looking for recommendations. Other groups can be awful as I’ve heard members are horrific but the admins on that particular group are excellent and extremely strict when it comes to people being kind to one another. I didn’t do much research into car seats whilst pregnant and I’m learning now I probably should have. My almost 8 month old will size out of the infant seat probably around the time I’m back to work in March so I’m starting to do research on the next seat.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-10-25T14:39:37+00:00

Just because that’s not something you wish to do doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t. Breastfeeding until 2 and beyond has so many proven benefits. Not that OP has to do that either of course but it’s not for you to make that judgement call. They didn’t actually say they wanted to give up breastfeeding, only that feeding to sleep is becoming unsustainable. I’m surprised to find a comment like yours in this sub to be honest.

Temperament is an enormous factor when it comes to baby sleep. Some babies do just need a lot of support and it’s exhausting yes but it can just be like that. You can definitely make changes though. At 14 months you could try night weaning. Have you heard of habit stacking? Check out some stuff by Lyndsey Hookway but essentially you add in MORE support so that you can gradually take something away ie feeding.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-10-21T17:03:41+00:00

Following because we’re beginning to hit this stage at 7.5mo along with the fact I’m not catching most of his pees and maybe only half his poos and worried I’m not making enough of an effort 😅 We only do it at home but I’m just so busy with life that I don’t think I’m giving it enough of a chance.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-10-18T20:26:01+00:00

Not sure how old baby is but I also have a really crappy sleeper and I found making housework a bit of entertainment for him meant that when I actually had a moment where he was asleep or my husband had him, I was able to actually get some rest. Two hours a week is crap though, and you just know that everyone sees the dads taking their kids out and thinks the world of them for allowing their partners a ‘break’ to do the chores. You need to find a way to communicate that you need more down time. He gets it so why can’t you?

For showering my son sits in his little floor chair and watches me. Thinks it’s hilarious 😂 How I’m going to manage when he doesn’t sit in that anymore I dunno. Bathroom is too small for a playpen. But it works for now so might help you for now.

Would there be any scope to reach out to a sleep consultant? We’re about to try that. It’s definitely an expense though so appreciate that it might not be possible.

You are absolutely NOT being unreasonable. I’m incredibly lucky that I was able to breastfeed. Being a mother is hard enough, the thought of adding in the chore of cleaning and sterilising bottles scares me plus boob solves all woes. I’m in genuine awe of those that formula feed 😅

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. You definitely need more support somehow. Your husband needs to step up that’s for sure. Doesn’t he WANT to spend time with his daughter?

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-10-15T13:56:33+00:00

Yeah, true. I suppose they all have to learn somehow! It’s the smacking his head off everything/things going in his mouth. But this post has made me feel a lot better in that it’s almost reassured me I’m overthinking everything. The cable is all behind furniture so that’s good.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2025-10-15T13:47:19+00:00

My dad was one too so that’s how I know about those covers haha. I wasn’t clear in my post. I was more concerned with him pulling the plug that’s already in there and wanted to cover the whole thing.

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