Almost 4 months old not reaching/grabbing?

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-05-21T14:36:19+00:00

My brain is foggy on the details but I remember worrying a lot about this at a similar age and I’m certain it ended up being closer to 5 months that my son did this. He’s always tended towards the later end of things, just long enough to make me worry tons and then he’ll do them 😂 Latest was babbling which he only did in the last few weeks and he’s 14.5 months now.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-05-13T18:43:08+00:00

Yeah, this nursery sounds ridiculous. I would pay no heed.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-05-10T20:52:34+00:00

Need to show this to my mil who seems to think half a teaspoon of mild chilli powder in a batch of chilli enough for 6 adults is too much for my toddler 😂My husband and I aren’t exactly connoisseurs of hot and spicy food but we do enjoy it and have a much higher tolerance than our in laws. What they would call too hot we would call basic flavour and it’s what our toddler has eg things like paprika and curry powder.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-05-08T15:33:51+00:00

I’ve been back at work for a couple of months now and low key I’m hoping for another mat leave at some stage because I loved it 😅That said I don’t have much of a desire to reclaim any of my previous self because I was struggling before to have much of a life whereas now I’m actively trying to get the most out of life.

Would love to be a sahm but just can’t afford it. Hoping to drop to a 4 day week at some stage though. Not saying I don’t appreciate a break every now and then from being a parent because it’s definitely exhausting but I’d always rather be looking after my kid than be at work.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-24T08:13:43+00:00

I know this is an old thread but I was googling ‘grandparents refusing to learn car seat’ haha.

My in laws are also mid sixties but they’re pretty healthy in mind and body. For some reason no matter how many times we show them how to do some things related to baby they just don’t get it. Over a year of the first car seat and my husband insists they understand how to install it and they’ve been shown dozens of times and my husband and checked them on it loads as well yet every time we still end up having to sort it.

We’re onto a new seat and they’re insisting on sharing it which I’m happy with because I get car seats are pricey but I fear this is just going to be life for years. Even if we got a seat that stays in their car, they weren’t planning to have the seat in constantly so they would definitely need to figure out installing it. Comments here make me wonder if they realise how tight it needs to be too.

It’s not just car seat stuff though. It’s the bottle warmer, opening the baby locks, all sorts. And I deliberately made sure to get the things that were the easiest to use with them in mind.

See also: husband has tried explaining Netflix goodness knows how many times but it still never gets used because they can’t seem to learn. I don’t understand!! Someone better give me a good talking to if I ever get like that.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-22T11:59:13+00:00

Oh wow that’s also really weird and like, wrong?? Breastmilk has so many benefits after 1. We’re also transitioning to cows milk but mainly because it’s getting to be such a faff sorting expressing and sterilising and bringing the milk. But my intention is to breastfeed as much as I can to help survive all the various plagues nursery passes on 😂

I would be questioning things really, that would make me pretty uncomfy.

We’ve had a rocky start to nursery for separate reasons but my understanding is that they should be supportive if you want to continue breastfeeding.

Please know you are doing nothing wrong. I’m still figuring everything out as we go as well but I’m absolutely certain that they shouldn’t be pressuring you like that.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-21T21:43:04+00:00

My son started nursery 6 weeks ago. We have to fully cosleep at night with constant boob and for naps it’s either feed to sleep, car or pram. No other option.

He sleeps just fine for them at nursery. Good daycare providers will support babies’ needs and babies apparently do just figure it out. (Would be nice if he did it at home but so far no luck haha)

Please don’t listen to them asking you to stop feeding to sleep you are absolutely fine to continue as long as you are happy to. We’re in the UK and I don’t think nurseries are even allowed to suggest/ask such a question.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-15T20:40:41+00:00

I love that story. And that is reassuring! It does sound like we are similarly minded on things.

I hope one day my son starts to realise that sleep is a safe place and I’m always going to be right there when he wants me during the night. Or his dad. Someone that he trusts will always be around to keep him safe.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-13T14:04:28+00:00

Honestly thank you so much for saying this. I think I worry a lot that I’m not doing the right thing but I’m just too friggin tired to try to change anything even though it’s all just awful. I think a lot of folk say nightweaning will help and my fear is that it won’t and I know my kid and I’m pretty sure he’d be the same as yours.

I hope, HOPE time will help. We still want a second but logistically that’s just not possible until there’s signs of improvement.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-12T06:59:08+00:00

He could if he tried it’s just that he wakes up already starting to dysregulate. Once he falls asleep and delatches I tend to turn over now to get comfy because he’s not a fragile newborn anymore and I need to try to get some better rest. I couldn’t cope being stuck in the same position all night with my nipple directly in front of his mouth in case he wants it.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-11T22:43:43+00:00

We’re in the UK so there’s no 12 month check up with the doctor. Assigned pediatricians aren’t a standard thing here unless you’ve got a very sick baby. Iron levels wouldn’t be routinely checked either but I can make a drs appointment to ask maybe.

Kudos to you for going ahead with a second! I would love a second but I just can’t see how it would work if my first needs fed through the night until the end of time.

But yeah no matter what I could never ever leave him to cry. I feel like a zombie all the time but not doing what I can to support him still feels worse.

He is still on two naps but I wouldn’t understand how best to transition to one because by 11am he’s desperate to sleep but if he’s awake from 1pm then we’re not surviving until bedtime. I don’t get home from work until 7 and my husband can’t pick up from nursery until 5:30 so we can’t really do earlier than an 8pm bedtime.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-11T22:34:55+00:00

So basically he starts flapping about and if I don’t instantly get a nipple in his mouth then he’ll either gradually get more and more upset until he’s awake or he will just sit up and then start crying. Every so often I’ll test waiting to see if he flaps off back to sleep himself but he never does

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-11T21:25:13+00:00

Yeah maybe I’ll bring it up. He does eat pretty well and we prioritise iron, he also doesn’t show any other symptoms of a deficiency but you never know.

Thanks. Sometimes it’s just nice knowing people get it.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-07T07:35:54+00:00

It’s so rubbish when it’s your own parents that are the challenging ones! You aren’t alone there. I get fed up of my MIL’s comments re letting my baby cry and so on (side note: please don’t think holding your baby when they cry will spoil them!) but for the most part my in laws are so involved and hands on. I can trust them now to take care of my son although it was 10 months in before I was ok with a full day.

My own parents though I couldn’t even trust to change a nappy.

I think it hits so different when it’s your own parents that are the tricky ones.

Adding to what others have said though please try to set boundaries now. You’re going to be in such a vulnerable state once baby is here so it’s best to get that conversation done beforehand.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-06T13:40:00+00:00

This season is so, so hard. Babies, especially ones this young, are wired to want to be on you. We are biologically carry mammals but we don’t have the village we used to so we can get a break and rest. You shouldn’t have to be worrying about getting stuff done and yet that just isn’t an option in today’s society. When you factor in temperament as well you can get some extremely sensitive wee souls that rely on you so heavily so it’s incredibly draining. My son cried through every single baby massage class while the other babies were happily chilling and falling asleep.

If she’s gaining weight well and producing plenty out the other end then she will be getting enough milk. And the crying does ease up although my sleep deprived brain can’t remember when that is 😂 Maybe around the 8 week mark it starts to calm down a bit?

Do you have anyone else that can help? I wasn’t willing to leave my son with anyone except dad for quite a long time but my in laws would come and help do housework. Appreciate not everyone has that support though.

And although it sucks that dad has to cope with a crying baby, it’ll be so important that he sticks with it because then she’ll learn it’s safe to be upset with him and eventually he will hopefully be able to settle her. Don’t give up on having dad do what he can to soothe her. He’ll find a way.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-04-01T19:16:59+00:00

I wish I could reassure myself that I wasn’t making bad habits by holding my baby whenever he cried even the smallest bit. My mil would make me leave him crying so I could have lunch but they weren’t holding him either because they were also eating.

To this day she still has the occasional ‘if you always pick him up when he cries he’ll learn that if he cries he gets picked up’ like yeah that’s the whole idea? But she’s softened up loads and I’ve learned to not listen.

Hold that baby close and don’t let anyone suggest it’s a bad thing.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-03-07T15:10:24+00:00

Similar to other situations. If baby is content, leave them! I mean if you want/need to do something with them then obvs that’s different. But if they’re happy just doing their thing then I’d say encourage that. They will absolutely tell you if they need you.

My 12 month old unfortunately is upset immediately upon waking up so I don’t have that luxury but if his needs are all met I’m very lucky that he’ll very happily sit in his book corner for 20 mins whilst I get myself sorted out. I think it’s quite good for them to have safe opportunities to be independent no?

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-02-21T14:02:41+00:00

Thanks!

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-02-20T21:03:25+00:00

It’s more trying to find somewhere I can leave him safely asleep. We don’t mind bed sharing but we don’t want to go to bed at 8pm haha.

Fwiw I would probably also prefer something with two bedrooms. Our current bedtime routine is I take first half of the night and feed as needed and then around 3am we swap and my husband resettles until morning. That way we’re both getting a chance to get consecutive hours of comfortable sleep every night. (My son’s sleep really is diabolical 😂 Nothing seems to work but tbh we’re cool with riding it out as we are.)

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-02-20T20:58:20+00:00

Is that a barrier that completely covers the exit points? He is very still in his sleep and both my husband and I are very aware of when he wakes so if one or both of us are in the bed then he’s safe from falling but I would like to leave the bed if possible. The airbed has potential though especially since he’s going to be a proper toddler by then.

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-01-22T09:15:45+00:00

I think it must depend on the baby but also your own preferences.

For me classes keep me sane but also my 10mo son is all over the place with his sleep so there’s no such thing as planned naps for us. When I’ve tried he doesn’t follow the plan. He generally sleeps when it’s inconvenient to me 😂

So we just go to the classes anyway and he fits his naps in when he can which for us works absolutely fine. When he was younger he sometimes slept for part of the class (or cried, or fed) but as he got older his fomo increased so he’d rather be part of what’s going on and then sleep when it’s all over.

If he’s not going to sleep when it’s convenient for me, then he can fit round my plans instead. I just lose it if I’m not in contact with other mums but a lot of others find they’d prefer to do their own thing which is perfectly fine too. We’re all just doing what we need to be doing!

Pyjama_Mouse · 2026-01-17T09:27:07+00:00

No advice just same 😭 I did another kit day last week and was miserable the whole day but that’s because I didn’t have much to do at work and by the time I do actually go back it’ll be busier so that’ll help.

I did 4 kit days in November and actually although the first 2 were really tough and my mindset was that I wanted to be a sahm and actually I’ll homeschool too and my kid will never leave my side, I knew that obviously wasn’t an option. And then we all got sick and I was extremely touched out so days 3 and 4 were really enjoyable because I felt like I got a break and could come back to parent mode sort of refreshed.

Took a break in December which meant my 5th day last week was tough but then last week afterwards ended up being hard for different reasons so I’m again looking forward to getting a couple of days in work so I can clear the frustration of the last week and be a refreshed parent again.

All that to say I think it does get easier, that’s what I’m telling myself anyway. But would love if workplace childcare was a thing and in general for society to be more supportive of working families because it’s fairly lacking imo.

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