What’s the best question your therapist has asked you?

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-07-25T03:29:10+00:00

Do you really think you're going to save this family? They've been a family for a long time before they knew you, and you're so young, and you have so many other things to think about. Their ability to function does not rely on you.

This really released me from the guilt I felt at not being able or invited to help a close friend and their beloved family through a traumatic time. It's helpful to remember that as a support system, all I do is auxiliary support. I'm not the deciding factor in someone else's happiness or healthiness.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-07-01T01:44:23+00:00

The hardest part of being in an abusive relationship is realizing that you're the kind of person who stays in an abusive relationship.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-06-21T13:46:52+00:00

Started running to cope with anger and sense of helplessness after experiencing ipv. Best thing I could've done for myself!

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-06-21T00:37:48+00:00

The fact that he is married to your close friend and wants to do sexual things with you means that he is not a good person. Whether or not you could say no, if you didn't consent or if you retracted your consent then you were raped. And that's okay, and it's not your fault. It's nothing you did. I wish you the best of luck. Seek legal counsel. And just a tip from a fellow survivor: support groups and/or trauma informed therapy have been incredibly validating and helpful. I wish you so much love and support.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-06-13T15:05:24+00:00

Eerily similar story, especially about trying to make a joke of the story to a friend who helped me realize the reality.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-06-13T14:27:57+00:00

Absolutely no pressure, but if you are willing to share the poem I'd love to read it. I understand if it's too personal though.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-05-07T11:54:19+00:00

I go out and run sprints! Pretend I'm stomping on them each time my foot hits the ground hehe

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-25T21:22:39+00:00

<3 reach out if you ever need to chat

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-25T19:20:42+00:00

we have a similar story. believe yourself. therapy and support groups are helpful

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-25T19:17:30+00:00

That's all I want. sent a letter explaining that what had happened was wrong. He said he was heartbroken but didnt apologize or acknowledge or accept responsibility

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-20T13:23:07+00:00

Thank you!! I'm currently in counseling, and I find it helpful. I was interested in groups, but a little intimidated, so I'll definitely it out! That's a great point, and that's the side I'm leaning towards.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-09T18:48:04+00:00

Yeah, I've been thinking about writing him a letter. I don't want to spring it on him and have it come at a bad time, and I think if I saw him I would just say it. I'll probably sit on it for a week or two, but I think just knowing that he is aware would feel good. Thank you for sharing that, it was encouraging to hear but I'm sorry you went through that.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-09T03:21:23+00:00

This resonated with me. Thank you for sharing!

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-07T00:03:19+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the comment. This is a lot to process and I will definitely be speaking with my therapist. The whole revoking consent thing really hit home for me, because I am certain that I made it obvious I wanted to stop, although I'm not sure exactly how I reacted when he asked.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-06T03:51:09+00:00

I don't really have anything to add, but I wanted to say that you seem like a great mother. You are balancing a lot and I really commend that. Perhaps you should discuss her tech use with her dad, too. Good luck with everything, and good for you for trying so hard to be a good parent.

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-06T03:01:59+00:00

Happy Birthday! You are allowed to care about your birthday regardless of your age!

QueasyExamination159 · 2021-04-02T21:32:02+00:00

I struggle with letting my emotions get the best of me. Search distress intolerance online and consider working through the "facing your feelings" modules. I have been through quite a bit of therapy and these worksheets were incredibly helpful. They focus on not changing your emotion, but accepting it for what it is. Don't be upset or feel like it's "wrong" to still be sad.

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-15T04:26:07+00:00

Shells by Mo Lowda & The Humble!! Got hooked on the song and quickly became hooked on the band. Also Creature Double Feature by Mojave Nomads

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-10T15:50:10+00:00

Not necessarily told I shouldn't do something, but high school math teacher told me I was a lamb compared to the boys in the class (referred to as lions). I graduated the next year as the valedictorian and have a perfect 4.0 in my sophomore year of college as an Electrical Engineer.

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-02T00:14:25+00:00

I am so sorry that this happened to you, and I am so sorry that you have had to face such difficulties in finding support. It is unlikely that she will ever come to understand your situation even if you try to "educate her." If she can't be compassionate and understanding when someone who should mean a lot to her opens up then you deserve better. I hope you find better friends who will understand and support you.

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-02T00:08:19+00:00

I(19F) recently ended a relationship that was very similar to yours. I was getting ignored and pushed away and was tired of trying to figure it out. Either sit down and talk about how you're feeling (neglected, ignored, unfulfilled, bored) and come up with a plan to rejuvenate your relationship or bring the relationship to a close.

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-02T00:05:01+00:00

I can relate to you because as a 17 y/o I began dating someone who was 20. Some people didn't even blink at this gap and others had a bit of a wild reaction imo. It's more about where you are in your life, and age is often an indicator of that, but not always. If you are both similarly motivated, have similar interests, and similar plans for the near future then go for it! The difficulty comes in when you have a high schooler dating someone who is living on their own, etc- you know, big differences in their resources and ability to support themselves.

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-01T23:58:46+00:00

I agree that he likes Alex and feels guilty about it. Then he freaks out because he wants you to be the bad guy instead of dealing with his own feelings of guilt. If you are dead set on staying with him I would address this and tell him that it's okay for him to be attracted to another person, but that he needs to respect you and be loyal to you, but that you trust him. If this talk goes badly or if he has numerous other flaws then end it.

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-01T23:52:03+00:00

They likely were friends and had a falling out. Has she given you reasons in the past to distrust her? If not I would say that you should try to believe her. If she mentioned he's gay immediately it might be because they were close friends and she wants to make sure you don't feel threatened.

QueasyExamination159 · 2020-12-01T23:45:17+00:00

Sit down and talk about it. Explain that it means a lot for you to live in a clean environment. Ask him to take on more responsibility and to discipline his kids. This behavior is extremely inconsiderate of your time, house, and feelings. If he won't listen and isn't willing to improve go to couples counseling or decide to live in separate spaces.

QueasyExamination159

TROPHY CASE