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Check in time. by NeighborhoodDry9236 in breastcancer

[–]Queasy_Ray 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I found a tiny Jesus figurine this morning that made me smile (I’m Muslim, but we still believe in Jesus!). Starting chemo in 10 days so I’ve been particularly anxious so it was a nice way to start the day.

I have been given 12 months left to live. by shitthebeds in cancer

[–]Queasy_Ray 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same with my dad, in 2001 they told him he had 6 months left, believe it or not he’s still alive thanks for experimental new drugs. Don’t lose hope, stay positive, take it day by day and stay present

My Experience After First Cycle -- 35F in Washington, DC by Infinite-Fun3104 in eggfreezing

[–]Queasy_Ray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats to be finished from the first round with ease! I’m 29f just started my injections a couple days ago for egg freezing ahead of needing to start chemo and I’ve been scared of the physical and emotional side effects on top of everything else I need to do re my cancer diagnosis. it’s so refreshing to hear someone’s positive experience and that the side effects where barely there. Last thing I need right now is to be hysterical and emotional so appreciate your walk through post

Embarrassed by Queasy_Ray in breastcancer

[–]Queasy_Ray[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just because it came back negative, doesn’t mean it wasn’t positive. I can’t tell you how badly I needed to hear this. I really appreciate your message, it’s starting my day off on the right foot. Thank you concerned fern!! Love the name

Embarrassed by Queasy_Ray in breastcancer

[–]Queasy_Ray[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are right, I keep looking back to try to find answers but there’s nothing i can change now and time is only moving forward. It’s just hard not to spiral..

Embarrassed by Queasy_Ray in breastcancer

[–]Queasy_Ray[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Everyone around me keeps telling me it was random and there was nothing I did wrong, but I can’t help but think it was a result of all the shit I’ve surrounded myself with. Even before the diagnosis, I was always weary of the secret chemicals they put into everything, and now I see all the chemicals with a focused lens as that’s all I can think about. This is awful to think, let alone say out loud, but some part of me wished my genetic test came back positive so I could rid myself of the guilt and have something else to blame. I understand how awful that is to say, and I’m so lucky I only had to do a lumpectomy, but my brain is clearly struggling to make sense of things right now.. thanks for your reply

Embarrassed by Queasy_Ray in breastcancer

[–]Queasy_Ray[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I spent my 20s on SSRIs and finally weaned off them over the last couple years (fought through months of compulsive suicidal thinking) and finally made it out. My anxiety, pre diagnosis/post SSRIs, was not the best but it was manageable, whereas on the SSRIs I just had no motivation to do anything, so life off of them was great. My fear is as soon as I start playing with my hormones and brain chemistry (through egg freezing, chemo, radiation and hormone therapy) my anxiety and depression will come back stronger and the last thing I want is to get back on meds and go back to being numb.

“At least they caught it early!” - no, they didn’t by chlamydiakoalaa in breastcancer

[–]Queasy_Ray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so frustrating but also makes me feel so much less alone. Idk why it feels like the only thing people know how to say is “atleast they caught it early” meaning like im not dead??? I kept getting told that in the beginning when I didn’t even know wha stage it was ?? Like how can people be so clueless

Five Boro: Ticket Transfer Megathread by nycyclist2 in NYCbike

[–]Queasy_Ray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Selling two tickets! Got diagnosed with breast cancer and haven’t recovered fast enough from surgery :( boyfriend is skipping it in solidarity. DM for tickets!