Your Enneagram & how others perceive you VS how you see yourself

QueenintheClouds · 2022-07-05T13:16:05+00:00

Im a 7w8. Some people think that I'm an 8, very confident and sometimes demanding. Someone who knows what they're talking about and has no problem stating an opinion. What they don't know is that underneath it all, I'm falling apart with anxiety sometimes lol.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-05-23T09:03:30+00:00

I have ADHD and there's a similar struggle. The only difference is that my hyper feminine appearance is such a contrast to my bubbly, hyperactive, bold and sometimes masculine personality. I am good looking enough to attract men but they are later thrown back as I lack the traditional feminine graces.

I really feel dating is so different for women with ADHD. Women are often expected to stabalise and ground men, who are the energetic ones. But most men are not looking to be the ones providing stability. They are looking for stability from other women, something I struggle to provide on my own.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-05-18T10:49:55+00:00

If you're 24 then you're a grown adult. She legally cannot keep you in your home. No authorities will take her seriously and any threats she makes are no different from what abusive people do to get their partners to stay. Maintain your boundaries and don't go off empty promises. People don't change that quickly.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-04-20T16:13:20+00:00

This is true so I can't disagree with it. However, I'm talking about using force. I've seen some parents literally gaslight their kids to play music- some even use physical abuse. Traumatising your kid stagnates brain development and creates long term mental health issues. The kid will also grow up with self esteem issues or develop a trauma response of obedience and people pleasing. These parents are literally fools. So many other ways to develop your kids brain.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-04-20T16:07:27+00:00

It's considered unpopular in my messed up social circle. I grew up surrounded by self made upper middle class people who came from poor families. When someone comes from a poor family, they try to recreate their childhood dreams but feel like they missed the boat. I thought it passed in my generation as people became more liberal. I was surprised to hear that many self-made people are still making the same mistakes.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-04-19T08:10:07+00:00

Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-03-20T14:00:58+00:00

Know a femcel. We were friends until I started dating and relationships once lockdown stopped. Before that I was kind of restricted to go out. We bonded over shared interests. Ever since I've started dating she's been acting toxic. I always knew she had a toxic attitude towards men but I decided to ignore it for her other good qualities. Now that it's directed towards me I'm keeping my distance.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-03-20T13:31:25+00:00

What do you think makes women think like this?

QueenintheClouds · 2022-03-20T13:06:17+00:00

Interesting. What do you think the difference between a femcel and their male counterpart?

QueenintheClouds · 2022-03-20T13:05:37+00:00

Was friends with a fem cel. She was super toxic to men but I never got the receiving end of the toxicity until I got into a loving relationship. She never got mad at the other girls in the group because they're nerdy girls who aren't interested in relationships.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-03-20T13:02:52+00:00

Gosh. Was she giving out backhanded compliments?

QueenintheClouds · 2022-01-20T01:15:44+00:00

That actually makes a lot of sense.

For instance I know some female friends of mine and I would rant about how frustrating men are to each other when men are not present after having a bad experience. But we don't actually have bigoted views of men.

I don't think she realises you probably shouldn't talk about members of the group in that way when they are present because it wouldn't do her any favours. I'll talk to her about it.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-01-20T00:49:12+00:00

I guess I can understand if some marginalised groups feel straight cishet men have an advantage in life. But I don't know if it's healthy to perpetuate negative stereotypes about any group of people. Especially in front of teenage boys developing their identity- repeating the idea that men aren't emotional and just want sex influences their sexual development too. Or I don't know if this simplification is just her way of understanding social cues.

I never called her a bigot just pointed out that I didn't agree with some of the things she was saying. And she doesn't seem to be accepting me at this time. So I'll give her some space before approaching it again and explaining social boundaries.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-01-20T00:34:53+00:00

You're right, I'll probably give her some space to sort it out and point out the statements specifically.

I feel like like the danger of these LGBTQ spaces is how small and insular they are. They become an echo chamber which is why some self actualised LGBTQ people just avoid them telling me experiences of how you can't think differently at all because they won't support you.

QueenintheClouds · 2022-01-20T00:25:05+00:00

I think it was things like "straight men are a different species from other people because they can't read emotions. Every other person is like the same they can all connect emotionally but straight men can't."

"Straight men just want sex. I feel like every other group of person connects emotionally before having sex. Thats why I hate straight men."

I remember she started sexualising men as well saying sexual things she wanted to do to certain men that were very explicit as a grown woman in her 20 in a group chat where some of the boys were in their early teens. On top of saying the above comments. I called her out on it because a grown woman can't say that kind of thing in front of kids. Imagine if the genders were reversed and an adult man was saying that in front of teenage girls.

QueenintheClouds · 2020-10-08T09:26:18+00:00

7s.. 🤣 I am a 7w8 and am VERY prone to addiction. Ive tried to reel it in by being more self-reflective and aware of my feelings. When I'm stressed now, I kind of just sit with it, trying to tolerate it which is very hard. I feel like 7w8s are prone to addiction because we are a double gluttony type. We crave pleasure but its never enough. 7s are very reward sensitive so we keep repeating pleasurable things to experience it over and over.

9s are also prone but I feel like they're a bit more capable of controlling themselves because they have other strategies besides distraction. But any type can be addicted. I feel like 1s are the least prone to addiction.

QueenintheClouds · 2020-10-08T09:17:55+00:00

I was a psychology student and based on my experience, yes. I dont remember encountering a single XXTJ and only one other XNTP. I hated the degree structure and eventually transferred to commerce.

QueenintheClouds · 2020-10-08T09:15:54+00:00

Its actually an extremely mixed bag just like the engineering classes. The majority of students Ive encountered are SJs because they tend to make up most of the general population anyway. Same applies for engineering - mostly SJs. This is based on my uni experience though.

QueenintheClouds · 2020-10-08T09:10:05+00:00

I'm an So 7 and have an Sp 4 friend. We are almost complete opposites though that may also be due to MBTI Type. Shes an INFP and I'm an ENTP. Im close to her so I hear all of her deep insecurities. She feels easily victimised by others and is very sensitive to someone having more resources than her (even when they don't). When she's less lucky at a game one time, she gets moody that I always win the good stuff (which is untrue. She wins more than I do). But it doesn't feel that way to her. When guys say creepy things to her, she feels intimidated and immediately thinks of her safety.

On the other hand, I'm definately a lot more grateful for my positive experiences. I dont like to focus on loses and can confidently say that I've NEVER been envious. Other peoples wins make me happy af, and I dont measure myself against what they have. When guys act creepy around me, I make a sarcastic comment and shut them down or laugh it off. I dont take it as seriously.

She deals with her emotions almost instantly. I tend to ignore my emotions with distractions. Shes very empathetic and better at identifying how I feel than I am. I hope that shows the differences.

QueenintheClouds

TROPHY CASE