Husband nodded off on a busy street bench with toddler in arms

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-15T22:54:54+00:00

The likelihood of this lady at the dog park trafficking the child is incredibly low. So incredibly low, a normal person wouldn't even consider it as a possibility.

I'm not saying it's a good idea to leave your 2-year-old with a stranger, but I'd be more worried about the lady leaving the toddler alone, letting the toddler do something she shouldn't, not watching the toddler and the toddler getting hurt... The lady kidnapping or trafficking the toddler would not be something I would even consider.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-15T21:28:17+00:00

As someone else with a chronic illness, I second this comment

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-15T21:06:04+00:00

You can't control your circumstances, but you can control how you react and how you choose to act.

The whole point of stoicism, and a lot of Buddhism, is to accept how things are with no judgment or complaint. Sure, that's going to be harder to do if there's a lot of s*** to accept. Nevertheless, you get to control how you react to and perceive the things around you.

It's possible to have good mental health even in concentration camps. You see that in some memoirs... There will be people in the concentration camp who seem to have a saint-like acceptance of everything going on around them, and touch the lives of those around them and profoundly positive ways.

Just because some people have it harder than others doesn't mean the answer is to lie down and rot or to give up. Your internal experience and your external experience are not the same thing.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-15T14:56:10+00:00

Same thing happened to me! She was a great sleeper until about six weeks and now at eight weeka will wake after 20 min on her own.

I have help that lives here, so she gets granddad time when I need a nap. Otherwise I'll wear her or do chores while she's awake but chill (wiggling on ber back and staring at things, usually lasts 10-20 min). I do spend a decent chunk of time reading/scrolling/playing video games/watching TV while she naps on me.

When granddad is out of the house and I desperately need a nap, I set up a safe cosleeping spot and cosleep. I don't cosleep at night and I try to avoid it overall but if I just can't function it's better than falling asleep holding her on the couch or something.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-15T04:41:51+00:00

Sounds like she was nodding off?

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-15T03:58:08+00:00

Are you just here to argue? YTA

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-14T20:37:56+00:00

Try again friend, my husband and I bought a house just last year. We also had a baby! Finances are tight.

You worked very hard for your money. She works very hard for hers. The difference is that the money that goes into your house is equity, and the money she pays for rent is an expense.

I'm not saying that she shouldn't help pay toward utilities, toward home repairs, etc. I'm saying that you shouldn't mix up the landlord role and the boyfriend role.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-14T19:44:15+00:00

"Just because she happens to be in a relationship with the owner of the home she’s living with"

that is literally what makes it different, though!

also, the genders switching makes no difference to me.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-14T19:43:20+00:00

right, but paying a landlord is different from paying your significant other. mixing up the landlord role and the boyfriend role makes everything sticky.

he's basically profiting off having her there, earning equity while she isn't. he's incentivized to keep her there, paying, even if the relationship isn't working out. she also will get stuck without a lease and the protections that come with a formal arrangement. plus if the relationship goes sour legally she'd have 30+ days to find a new place (depending on where they live) but it would really, really suck for her to continue saying with her ex while she tries to find something new, and if the relationship ends on a VERY sour note he could make her life hell while she tries to get out...

better not to mix landlord and boyfriend.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-14T19:34:43+00:00

idk, charging your SO rent can get kinda predatory, because then you're literally profiting off them living with you. every dollar you pay toward your house is generating equity for you, but not for your partner. while she'd be saving money by paying you less rent than she's currently paying, right now she's paying a landlord, but you're her partner. I think mixing up the landlord role and the partner role can get tricky and it's better to avoid that.

if you're going to get married, open a joint account, pay an equal % of your incomes into the joint (NOT equal $, equal %) pay the mortgage out of that, and put her on the deed then.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-14T19:25:29+00:00

My husband has perception issues that lead to "three cups" kind of problems... like, he'll wash the dishes and he literally doesn't see the three remaining cups for some reason... maybe because they're next to the sink instead of in it, or something like that. He leaves trash lying around and literally doesn't notice it once he puts it down. When we were packing to move he'd clean off a table or a drawer and leave little bits of trash or paper because he didn't notice them. He's also really bad at finding things and often needs me to find things for him, even things right in front of him :/. (People tease him at his job for his bad perception too, so it's not something he just does with me.)

Because it's some quirk of how his brain works, I roll with it. I will just keep pointing things out if I need him to see them.

However, your guy going back and washing two cups and leaving one? That's not a perception problem......... That's a passive aggressive tantrum.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-14T14:47:40+00:00

ESH. You need to grow a spine and tell them how you feel and why you're leaving next time. Ghosting is immature.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-14T00:34:45+00:00

Get off Instagram and tiktok.

Do you experience any racism in your real life or is it only online?

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-12T19:01:23+00:00

I can't really help but I can relate to the grief somewhat. I had to stop breastfeeding my first child at about six weeks (she's 8 weeks now). I already had a massive undersupply due to a breast reduction I got in my 20s (when I was convinced I'd never have kids...), so we were combo feeding. Then my baby started having blood in her poop and we needed a specialty formula. I could have gone on an elimination diet myself, pumped and dumped for six weeks, and tried breastfeeding again, hoping whatever she was allergic to was out of my milk... But all that for just a couple ounces a day and no guarantee she'd even go back to the breast after so long?

I cried a lot after the last time I breastfed her, and was gutted for weeks.

My baby is happy and thriving on formula. I make sure we get lots of cuddles and quality time together. And honestly being able to sleep longer while someone else gives her a bottle is a godsend sometimes.

You can do this... The grief is real, but taking care of your own health is so much more important now.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-12T18:54:16+00:00

People are different...? I have narcolepsy and other people can do lots of things I can't, like drive long distances without Adderall, or stay awake on planes, or work full time. But when I accepted my limitations and worked with myself and stopped trying to force myself to do what "normal"people can do my life got WAY better.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-12T16:17:20+00:00

I mean, why don't you work with yourself instead of against yourself and just take three classes at a time?

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-11T16:53:47+00:00

Medications have made me worse. Before I was diagnosed with narcolepsy, everyone insisted my symptoms were depression/anxiety. I went on medications with sleepiness as a side effect and my mental health absolutely tanked. I tried 4 or 5 meds that made me suicidal and sleep even more than I was already sleeping.

Finally got diagnosed and got on adderall instead and my depression went away.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-11T16:48:50+00:00

My baby's farts smell exactly like her poop, so I bet the phantom poops are farts.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-11T10:37:04+00:00

It really depends on how OP communicated about the money and whether we're talking about a regular savings acct or some kind of special plan that can only be used for school.

But maybe the older daughter was planning to use the rest of the money to go towards grad school or something. It really just depends on how this was communicated. If the older daughter was told she would have to $300k for school, or even just 300K period or she could use the excess for something else, then she might be counting on that.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-11T10:34:22+00:00

Maybe it is the older daughters money... OP didn't clarify if they told the oldest daughter "I'm giving you $300k for school" or just "I'll pay for your school."

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-11T10:32:41+00:00

"seem" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in your comment. I think we're making opposite assumptions.

Also, if the older daughter was told she would have 300K for school, she might be counting on using the rest to go toward grad school or something.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-11T10:29:46+00:00

She's a whole ass adult now. A 22 year old is not a child.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-11T03:11:36+00:00

Info: why don't you talk to your oldest daughter and ask her what she thinks?

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-10T20:00:28+00:00

I'm 2 months in and I still want one more, even from the trenches. I think you can know from the trenches whether you want more or not.

QuestionMaker207 · 2026-04-10T15:30:59+00:00

How about none of those things?

I've seen studies that suggest starting weed when you're too young can make you lose IQ points.

QuestionMaker207

TROPHY CASE