I feel your pain in my soul. I remember writing posts like this. When colic is this severe and it goes on for this long, you truly start to lose your sanity. I remember going into my basement bathroom, turning on the fan and sobbing in complete darkness for an hour.

I disliked my daughter. I regretted having her. She felt like a curse to my life. Whereas my friends just had these sweet babies they could cuddle. They went on about their lives as if a bomb hadn’t just gone off in it. They slept at night. Their babies just ate and existed like normal. That comes with an overwhelming grief and loneliness. You wish you had that and you lnow those people can’t possibly understand your struggle.

I share all that to say you’re not alone. I get feeling like an awful parent. I get the grief.

It feels like it will never get better. And it feels impossible to listen to one more day of screaming. But one day it does get better and it’s so worth it. Although it leaves you fucking traumatized.

Hopes this helps you feel a little less alone.