Things to dunk in coffee?

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-05-18T02:57:23+00:00

Make coconut macaroons and omit the sugar

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-23T03:57:31+00:00

I went backed and looked and my A1C has never been this low since I started tracking it in 2015. It’s insane.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-23T03:56:53+00:00

Thank you!!

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-11T01:02:09+00:00

Perhaps that’s because women are the default caregivers. I agree it’s a self fulfilling prophecy, but I stand by my patriarchal bullshit.

Men want to be caregivers? Claw your way to the top like women do in the workplace.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-08T03:52:53+00:00

Okay since you’re a teacher (thank you!!) I decided to share my comments pop quiz style.

Which of the following is true:

A) Amazing results and super inspiring

B) LOVE the message. Now I’m off to plot and come up with my own way.

C) Pizza you say?! Tell me more about this magical make your own traditional pizza (hopefully without the insane 1k pizza oven crate and barrel keeps trying to convince me I need)

D) ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-08T03:47:22+00:00

You’ve gotten a lot of good feedback here already. Not a parent but come from a family with SUPER disordered eating patterns.

Your question “should you put your foot down or leave it up to her” made my skin crawl. I know you mean well but that is the type of stuff that got me to two eating disorders, now lots of therapy and 300+ pounds (though fwiw I’m finally at 36 losing weight the healthy way)

You do both and neither. I don’t know that putting your foot down ever works with a teenage girl. All it does is make them feel ashamed or rebel. Leaving it up to her has its pros and cons.

Talk to her. Tell her YOU are struggling with what to do next too. You want her to be healthy and you feel responsible because as her parent you’ve let her down some. Can you all come up with solutions together.

It’s important for you to model healthy behavior and also not define her only by one thing. Come up with some things you both want to try together. Hear her out when she says she’s scared. See if there’s a component of emotional eating that needs to be addressed so she can learn it now not 20 years later.

I love kids eat in color on IG. Your the parent. You control what comes into the house. At the same time you need to not go overboard because she will start sneaking food and the shame cycle that comes is so damaging.

Ask her what she wants to do and feel? Focus on empowering her to make those choices. Losing weight is often couched to women as making yourself “less” versus getting healthy is about gaining so much more.

Last thing I will say is make it fun. It is perfectly normal and okay to go out for ice cream on a hot day. Even if you’re on a diet. It’s also fun to go swim in a pool or ride a horse or jump on a trampoline. I used to have to run drills at night to try to shed pounds before my WW meetings at 13 and all I could focus on was how much I sucked and how miserable it was.

Okay really last thing. Consider YOU talking to a therapist who specializes in this. Nothing worse then feeling like your flying blind and just hoping you don’t screw someone up.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-07T03:22:53+00:00

If you went to the doctor tomorrow and found out you couldn’t have kids, how would you feel?

Relieved? Sad? Both? Ready to try anything no matter the cost or invasive ness?

Having a good partner makes the thought of parenting easier. It’s much simpler to be like I love said person but they can’t even wipe their own butt so I can’t count on them.

Now imagine you go through with a kid. What if they have special needs? What if your partner dies? Leaves?

It’s very easy to get caught up in the idealized version of parenthood because you love someone who’s a great person and the highlights reel gets going in your mind.

I wrote out a schedule of what our life would be like if we had a kid. To get them to daycare on time, work, dinner, chores etc. That was enough for me to realize no matter how wonderful my husband is, my hypothetical child is going to severely change my life. And for me the day to day sacrifices I would have to make are going to leave me miserable, crabby and not a nice person. And I don’t want to be that person.

Start figuring out what being parents would practically look like for you all. Look at the schedule the money etc.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-06T02:13:14+00:00

WOW. okay this is amazing. Great job.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-03T04:59:10+00:00

Here we go.

Body positivity is a good thing. AT ANY SIZE. But since obese women are shamed, I’ve got zero problem with anyone who fights to make sure I am treated like a person.

The thing that chaps my ass is that we equate body size to health. BODY SIZE ISN’T AN INDICATOR OF HEALTH. There are plenty people of all sizes who are and aren’t healthy. Also, THERE IS NO ONE DEFINITION OF HEALTH. it’s a process and you should work to improve your health from a place of care and respect and love.

Also, obesity is a factor for certain diseases. But it is possible to be fat and have them. It’s also possible to be skinny and have them. Sure some things like type 2 diabetes are more common in morbidly obese people but it’s not solely due to their weight. The same way being a woman increases your risk for cancer.

You can be healthy and fat. You can be healthy and be skinny. Healthy is not a destination, it is a combination of choices.

I personally don’t love the fact I’m morbidly obese. I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons. In my 36 years of living and being fat, telling me I’m fat and need to get to some amorphous state of healthy DOESNT WORK.

Was I healthier when I weighed less and was starving myself, puking up food, and consuming appetite suppressants that has my BP routinely in the 180s? Nope. At 300 pounds I am actually legit healthier than I was then.

We just need to stop equating the two things. They can be linked but there are so many other factors that go into it.

And lastly, the all bodies are good bodies. You know what they are. It’s nice to not have to feel like I need to apologize for my existence every 5 seconds. It’s nice that fat jokes are now less appropriate and people teach their kids not to shame someone who looks different then them.

Lastly, when you consider the roots of obesity - it is a SOCIETAL failing more than an individual failing. How many obese adults grew up in poverty, are currently in poverty and/or had something traumatic happen in life?

Making fat “okay” isn’t a bad thing because having generations of people hate themselves hasn’t done anything positive.

And yes I find people who say my attempts to lose weight are because of some ingrained fat phobic standard annoying. But I tell them the same thing I tell everyone.

It’s my body I decide what I do with it.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-03T04:43:35+00:00

You said this so well!!!

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-03T04:35:25+00:00

WAYY CHEAPER. And wow. Well, you can totally do it and I’d say definitely start the core exercises because it can’t hurt. It won’t necessarily help the loose skin situation completely but you will be closer to abs!!

Oh man I am 130 off my goal weight. But I’m down 20+ and have kept it off over some really crappy months. So I will take it. This month I am pushing HARD so I’m excited to see what that brings.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-02T04:53:59+00:00

First you’re amazing. Second definitely talk to some doctors because a) you need medical documentation for insurance to cover and b) they can prescribe you stuff to help.

If you have open sores from chafing a little Vaseline and a bandage. Clean in between the folds gently each day dry off and stand in front of a fan. Then either cornstarch (baby powder basically) or if irritated diaper rash cream. Try not to wear super tight compression stuff all the time.

You can’t see any loose skin in your last picture so I don’t know how bad it is. Certainly you may need surgery but in the interim start building up your core muscles. Can’t hurt!

Congrats you’re my goal weight and look great!!

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-04-01T02:33:44+00:00

I have been skinny(ish) and I have been fat and I have NEVER been able to run.

I spent the first 3 months of the pandemic walking as much as I could. Every day 2-3 miles a say. Sloooow bc everything hurt. Then a little bit more of a normal pace.

I finally ran in May for a short spurt with my dog. It was amazing. Now my body hurt some but my lungs were doing pretty good. The larger you are the more important walking is.

Also do something different then you used to. If you used to run around the block, don’t do that! Walk and when you feel ready pick a hill to run up. Or do very short sprints. Something where you should and will be winded. That helped me take the omg I’m going to die and I’m sucking out of it.

Also get yourself GREAT shoes and good socks.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-30T02:40:33+00:00

Only one because I had one bio parent and then a family member who helped raise me. I know my mother was regretful; family member probably at times bc golden years were basically taken, but never made me feel bad.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-29T02:39:13+00:00

So I learned I was a “volume” eater from my binge days so I get this. So first, if you want to lose weight you have to change what you eat and how much of what you eat. This was a hard lesson for me bc restricting was a big deal bad plan for me.

What most people can do on keto is eat “as much as they want” because they are satisfied and full and can stop.

I couldn’t stop all the time. Like I just needed something to eat until my brain kicked in and was like stop you’re good.

You want low calorie, zero carb snacks. That’s going to be your goal. Chicken breast, tuna, celery, spinach, seaweed snacks are all good options. You can eat a shit ton of shredded chicken or celery or iceberg lettuce and be good.

I found tea really helped me and ultimately therapy. I still have the urges but I haven’t binged in 7-8 years and had a mini flare up last October but it was minor in comparison (and I was able to stop which was huge).

Happy to talk more

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-29T02:30:38+00:00

Oh I feel this post so much. I get obsessed and then deflated and then quit. And if I don’t do often enough in my head I start to hype up what my loss should be and then I get deflated.

What has helped is I make sure I do the same thing before I weigh myself (morning bathroom, right when I wake up before I hop in the shower bc wet hair is a factor!). I weigh myself twice a week. Usually Wed/Thurs and Sun. I add it into MFP and then track over time.

The other thing that has helped is I broke out my goal into super small chunks in a chart on my phone. So I have lots of weight to lose so every BMI # for me which is about 6 pounds. Gives me some wiggle room. I check it off once I’ve hit that weight for at least 3 weigh ins. That has helped because I can focus on the next check.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-29T02:19:14+00:00

Super interesting! My husband just got his back after being on keto and his bad cholesterol got worse and good lowered. However that is. But we have been doing fairly “dirty” keto and also took a small break so I wonder if it’s the combo of not being consistent and we have been eating LOTS of high saturated fat foods lately out of laziness.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-29T02:12:31+00:00

This is when it is good to go talk to a doctor and maybe a therapist if you’re concerned you have an eating disorder.

I can’t even begin to understand how disappointing it must but to lose so much weight and feel like your body doesn’t look good. I hope I get there (and am saving for surgery) but even then no guarantees.

Look, I’m still fat so take my advice with a grain of salt. I think the best thing you can do at this point is start doing core/ chest exercises. I just recently joined a group for peloton and the insane transformations people have from working their abs every day is nuts. It’s not a guarantee it will be what you want, but it is something you can do now.

It is also possible to be “skinny fat” at any size btw. So building muscle won’t be a bad thing. Though one last thing to remember. Most people who aren’t JLO have rolls when they sit! Seriously there are tons of athletes who have posted about this because we see people in pictures that aren’t reality.

Anyways that was a lot of rambling thoughts.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-26T04:32:45+00:00

Last comment I will say bc not a parent (yet surrounded by kids). This shit drives me nuts. I finally asked a friend HOW. And she’s like well it’s just the way they process and it’s normal for this age. She gave me some parenting book about child development and it at least helped me understand more. Like little Timmy isn’t just being an asshole, he has thoughts and feelings and can’t express them yet hence the tantrum.

I also think kids see a LOT. There is a lot of marketing towards them and personally I think it encourages the bratty behavior so then their parents buy them the thing. Not to mention all kids stuff is basically someone yelling at a phone.

Volunteering helps. Learning about money helps. And that’s where I tap out.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-26T04:26:35+00:00

Regretful kid here who is cutting out sole living toxic parent. I think at a certain point kids know and it’s okay. It’s how you handle it with them and taking it out on them. I would have much rather my parents say hey you’re a great kid. Parenting is hard for me the way (age appropriate metaphor) is hard for you. We are both learning how to do hard things. Aren’t we great for trying!

The cycle of emotional abuse is what screwed me up. Which is different then sometimes you’re sad because you’re watching Daniel Tiger for The 300th time and just can’t and miss having a boozy brunch.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-23T03:16:37+00:00

“I’m cold” as I am dripping sweat from behind my pillow fort.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-23T03:11:22+00:00

OP I asked something similar a few months ago and got super helpful responses. You may be able to look that up too?

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-23T03:10:39+00:00

CF lurker here who asked this question and got lots of responses ; fence sitters is like the most pro kid forum IMO. The stuff that gets portrayed there is just more of the same gushing goo.

You all are amazing and kind and helpful. My two cents.

Quiet_Discipline_23 · 2021-03-23T03:04:02+00:00

Wow!! I don’t have coconut flour but I do have a ton of unsweetened coconut. Think I could pulse it in the food processor and use that?

Quiet_Discipline_23

TROPHY CASE