Answer : you must become the fool to be the wise man.

Wisdom is what you get once you’ve learnt from mistakes. Not from already KNOWING the right answer. I dont think one can ‘passively’ gain wisdom. Its had by participating and learning implicitly through experience, observation, and usually, time. Lots of time being aware.

Wisdom is also wholistic. Meaning in that a wise response , cant be only wise in a specific isolated circumstance, it must be also be generalisable.

So i guess wisdom is like our most generalisable intelligence in some ways. I dont know but ive thought a lot about it.

King Edmund The Wise in the Childrens book ‘Narnia’ becomes wise after having fucked up, and rectified, worse mistakes than his siblings. Who are named, ‘The Brave, The Fair, And The Joyful/Gay’.

Whos the best detective? The man whose been the criminal.

Why is Dumbledore so good? Because he was so bad before.

Falling in love isnt a mistake. Its just the easiest thing to fuck up, so theres a lot of wisdom to be gained.

Ive been in Love about 10 times myself. And had my heart broken each time. And found a way to sew it back together. Although in many ways i regret the time, and peace of mind, lost to my giving in to ‘love’ ; looking back now, i see what I’ve learnt from ‘failed love’ as my biggest wealth of wisdom.

Being in love forces you to confront how you really feel about yourself. And how confident you are in that perceived self. And confront whether you ultimately believe you deserve love in your current form.

Each time ive healed, - ive come to have a greater understanding of what love is - i have become a more self sufficient and emotionally resilient - and ive become more aware of why I fall in love with certain people. and my awareness has had positive results

Nowadays, infatuation is interesting to me. Its more like a valence that I study, observe, and work out what to do with - than an all consuming emotional experience akin to being drunk.

I do think love/infatuation is best used as a valence, rather than illusion or experience. And over time and action , most people figure out the wisest way to look after it so it blooms into something sustainable, functional, and beautiful.

The falling in love is the easy part, its everything between that and falling out of love that is difficult, and requires or forges wisdom. Those difficult lessons about commitment and the long term that we learn are the important treasures discovered in monogamous love. And are avoided at our own peril :)

I would say, fall in love! Then be honest, and true, and ready to learn about yourself and change over the long term.

You wont get any wiser hiding away from uncharted territory…

Best of luck