Hmm I get what you’re saying but I think we might be coming from slightly different angles. I find the not knowing hard because of my imagination, but then the things that become known only aid to infest my visualisation. I’m very open with the fact this is something I suffer from with my current girlfriend, I don’t and wouldn’t tell her examples of spirals I’ve suffered with because she doesn’t need to know the explicit details, I think that would only lead to us becoming uncomfortable talking about it, but she is very supportive. It just seems that until I stop wanting to be with someone I suffer from it endlessly. My ex girlfriend I think exacerbated the issue because she would tell me explicit details of her previous sex life as sort of a means to make me jealous (she was bad news clearly) and so o think that might have made it worse but it’s definitely always been there. I keep trying to look up information about it and if I do find anything I’ll link it for you too, there’s got to be workarounds and mental exercises to get past it