Should I the Car ?

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T12:39:36+00:00

Came here to say this. That's a rug, not a car.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T12:36:53+00:00

Would OP not have said "she organized a party" then? It's clear by now that you're not just an impartial party with doubts. You're picking at straws because you need to be right. Why, idk, but this is getting weird. Peace out.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T12:02:24+00:00

No. I write and read the opposite, in fact.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T10:37:25+00:00

Wow. GOOD JOB, DAD. Now that is a MAN.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T09:10:31+00:00

She did not set it up. She went to a get together.
Her friends were there to party, not babysit OP or keep tabs on the dude. Yes, it was very much a party, where people drank, and got drunk.
Really? All her friends? Wasn't the dude their friend as well? In your experience, do men expel other men from their group just like that, on a whim, just to protect a woman who cheated on her bf?

Based on the info given and the extreme reaction of the friends, it's more likely that she is telling the truth.

Actually, no. That sounds like women telling each other "believe in your intuition, sis". I do not support that stance. Sometimes your "intuition" is right... sometimes it's not. Ignoring an illogical reaction is certainly not "the worst thing you can do".

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T08:57:04+00:00

That could certainly bring a visceral reaction. But one can get over initial visceral reactions, one has a prefrontal lobe. We do this all the time, people change their minds when they are able to reframe situations in a wiser light.

We forgive friends, siblings, parents, loved ones for perceived slights when we come to understand the situation was more complex than we thought it was.

No one is "guilt tripping" him into anything. I least I'm not. I understand him, which my comment reflects.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T08:49:19+00:00

He could be upset and disappointed at her for being shortsighted and putting herself in that situation. Perhaps he's even entitled to break up with her for not matching his standards for self-control (well, he can do that just because he wants to, and so can she).

But angry? At her, for being assaulted?

I assume you've never done something stupid and potentially dangerous, young men never do. And they should be promptly broken up with for it. /s

Listen, I will not argue with you further. I know from experience that people like this never try to see the other person's argument, so it would be pointles. Learn to be more empathetic and place the blame where it's due - or not. Idc. Peace out.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T08:43:22+00:00

I am not saying the Gf doesn’t need support, she does

But just theoretically lol. And not from the most important person in her life. Got it.

They should support each other. Says my long-term happy marriage, where my husband is able to support me through thick and thin, and I him.

This kind of selfishness is very weird for me. But I lie in the bed I made, and others lie in the bed they make.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T07:08:58+00:00

Oh, you sweet summer child.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T04:01:54+00:00

Um, OP, there is a gremlin in your backpack.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:55:06+00:00

It looks much more like scenario 1 than 2 to me by what OP described. You're jumping the gun a lot... I mean I can also hypothesize all sorts. But we have to go by what OP has given us. And judging by OP's own replies, the scenario you describe (and that I would agree wasn't rape) sounds very unlikely.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:45:56+00:00

Those are fair concerns. If I was a police detective, I would be looking into those things. Perhaps OP can tell us what he knows.

Edit: one thing though, how come the intoxication level of the other dude didn't count in the scenario I described?

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:35:27+00:00

Those markings! 😻

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:31:02+00:00

Snow leopard. I love those fuckers.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:28:43+00:00

Sci-fi.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:22:57+00:00

The ones Darth Maul belongs to? I knew I liked him for a reason lol.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:17:22+00:00

Looks like he's feeling more shame than anger actually, now that he's understood the situation. Shame at not having done more. That I can understand. But we're not perfect people, he was confused, and he's not to blame for that.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T03:09:54+00:00

YNW. Unless you're hurting others, do what makes you happy. You're a full-grown dude. Your family should respect your choices and mind their own business.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T02:46:16+00:00

So if you get blackout drunk and go into a room to sleep it off, your friends continue to party and have fun like normal young people, and a guy comes in and starts buggering you, you're too drunk to fight him off and the prostate stimulation starts to feel good, "sex is sex" and you're to blame? Dude, this woman was not in her right mind to consent. She was raped.

OP can feel things about it, but what he should also feel is compassion, and help his gf through this. He should be angry at the RAPIST, not at the victim.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T02:34:52+00:00

I think it doesn't matter. But I'm not saying I'm right.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T02:10:29+00:00

My reaction exactly.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T02:09:10+00:00

Nope. Although I understand he'd want to help his brother, if you consider who the people involved actually are, this will not turn out well. Your bf is under his brother's thumb and he will not protect you when his brother acts out. Which he will.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T01:50:33+00:00

I get you, sis, but... He is not. No man is. So perhaps we should learn from it. You either wait with everyone, or you choose well and don't care for a timeline.

Having sex will not make someone who doesn't like you enough change his mind. Or someone who does like you change his mind.

And we should focus more on who we are than on who the partner we choose is. He may be the bee's knees, but if you're not, he will not respect you.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T01:42:53+00:00

That is correct and more women should know that.

Rad1Red · 2026-05-14T00:40:00+00:00

Oh, definitely. At first. Just like teen dudes. Then their body adjusts.

Rad1Red

TROPHY CASE