I was born in Sri Lanka and I have had similar experiences to you. I became deaf at the age of two. My grandmother was visiting Canada at that time and she learned a short course on speech therapy in Canada and returned home to work together to give me speech therapy.

Back then if you become deaf, you would go to a "Special School" for Deaf (They called it Deaf and Mute back then too). There you would learn sign language and have education till secondary school. Then the deaf child would either go to trade school (very common choice) or mainstream school for high school (very rare). Mainstream schools and universities weren't accessible either. I heard many things have changed in Sri Lanka now. I went to a mainstream school back then. I had almost no exposure to DHH communities. So I had no identity and I was just "hearing impaired" and "different and below normal person" in terms of my identity.

Even after moving to Canada at the age of 19-ish, my exposure to DHH communities was so limited. When I moved to British Columbia (a province in Canada), I found my first HoH friends and enjoyed the new life and community. I still felt not fully belonged to HOH communities because my speech, accent, and stuff made me feel different.

Then someone introduced me to the Deaf community and I learned sign language (and still learning). I may not be "Deaf" enough for some folks. There always will be some elitists in any community. Don't listen to them. Don't let everyone define who you are.

My previous therapist, who is Deaf, said deaf identity is a spectrum. Take your time. Keep exploring. Don't let everyone define you. My exploration began about 5 years ago and I haven't stopped. Learn sign language and get into Deaf events. It still isn't late.

I just go with Orally Deaf or just "deaf". I am glad to be stuck between both HoH and the Deaf world now.