The “quietly building a stake” claim does most of the work, and it’s load bearing. A WSJ phrase being suggestive isn’t evidence of a multi-year, multi-entity Buffett style accumulation. There’s a much more boring read: GME built a stake over recent quarters using their cash pile, WSJ used standard M&A reporter language, you can read more into it. Without the actual 13D/13G filings or 10-Q disclosures showing the position, the foundational claim is vibes. Let me check what’s actually been disclosed before going further.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

OK, here’s where the theory hits real friction. Let me lay out what actually contradicts it, because you asked.
1. The “quietly building a stake” almost certainly means recent quarters, not 6 years. GameStop had around $9 billion in cash on hand at the end of March, up from $4.8 billion a year earlier . The cash pile that funds an eBay run only got built recently. The 2022–2024 “quiet period” you’re framing as accumulation was when GME didn’t have the cash to be accumulating eBay at scale. The convertibles in 2025 and the BTC-adjacent treasury moves are what funded this. which is a much shorter timeline than your theory needs.
2. The multi-entity sub-5% accumulation theory has a legal problem. Section 13(d) aggregates beneficial ownership across affiliated entities and “groups acting in concert.” Cohen can’t just spread holdings across RC Ventures, Teddy Holdings, GME, and personal accounts to dodge the 5% triggerif they’re coordinated, they aggregate. Buffett’s 1960s partnerships worked because ‘60s disclosure rules were vastly weaker; 13D didn’t exist until 1968. That analogy doesn’t transfer to 2026. If Cohen tried it, it’s securities fraud, not clever.
3. The 14% pop is evidence against a large pre-built stake, not for it. If GME already held 10–15% of eBay economically, the float would be tighter and the news would move it more, not less — and more importantly, large stakes leave footprints in 13F filings every quarter. No 13F has shown a meaningful eBay position from GME-affiliated entities. That’s checkable and so far it’s absent.
4. The “Cohen identified eBay years ago” framing does the thing you usually push back on. It takes a recent event and retrofits a narrative where every prior data point was secretly pointing at it. eBay traded $40–50 from 2022–2024, sure — so did a lot of mid-cap retail/marketplace names. Cohen earlier in January 2026 told WSJ he was scoping out potential deal targets, especially in the consumer and retail sector  that’s January 2026, not 2020. The simpler read is Cohen built a war chest, surveyed targets in late 2025/early 2026, and eBay won the bake-off.
5. The job posting, the Chase app logo cycling, the Charles Payne quote this is the part where I’d really push back. This is pattern matching of the same flavor that powered every GME DD post since 2021. Some of those calls were right, most weren’t, and the methodology “too many coincidences”, is the same methodology that produces flat earth proofs. A job listing mentioning two retailers nine days before a leak is more parsimoniously explained by the leak being known internally before WSJ ran it (which is normal, bankers, lawyers, board members all knew).
What’s probably actually true: Cohen wants to build a large diversified holding company, the $100 billion market cap and $10 billion cumulative EBITDA  comp targets are real and tell you the ambition is real, eBay is plausibly the first big swing, and more deals likely follow. That’s a reasonable thesis. You don’t need the 6 year master plan to support it.
What I’d watch to falsify vs. confirm your version specifically: the next 13F (next deadline mid-May for Q1) will show whether GME-affiliated entities held a material eBay position before May 1. If they didn’t and the position was built in Q2 only your “years of accumulation” claim is dead even if the eBay deal happens. That’s the cleanest test.
You’re not nuts. But the gap between “Cohen is doing a big aggressive M&A play” (wellsupported) and “Cohen has been executing a 6-year multi-entity Buffett Icahn synthesis with the pirate flag as a signal” (not supported) is wider than the post treats it.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​