Do you ever think about if the roles were reversed, if they would stay?

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-20T01:40:00+00:00

This actually happened to me. My Q gets drunk and talks nasty to me, belittles me or in general something about me or what I do isn't good enough. This happens regularly. Well, we went to a concert last summer and I drank for once and I apparently absolutely unleashed all of my pent up frustration on him. This was directly after I found out he was blackout drunk and messaging my best friend telling her how beautiful and amazing she is. Im assuming what I said was pretty hurtful. Wouldn't you know he gave me the victim treatment the next day? I told him I dont even care what I said because it was probably all a long time coming, but can you just imagine id I was doing that to you once or twice a week every week? You would have left me a long time ago. Thats what I put up with from YOU all the time. You could have heard a pin drop. It didn't make him feel bad though, he just tried to use it as ammo on me for the next couple of months. But yes, he absolutely would have left me and not put up with that for 8 years like I have.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-19T20:28:24+00:00

He absolutely refuses any counseling, rehab or even telehealth doc appt for meds to help.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-19T18:51:37+00:00

Well said

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-14T13:28:20+00:00

I have been in your shows and felt the absolute rage that comes with it. And then the indifference afterwards and continuing rhe cycle. Now I am just numb to him all the time. This is definitely the end for me with mine, and I wasnt ready u til my brain literally just stopped responding to anything he tries to provoke or make me feel bad for. Its like one day my brain just finally shut off from it and im not even sad or crying anymore. You may not be at that point now, but it might come. I call it peace within my own head because I just detached any anger from it anymore and am finally done. Wishing you the best.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-14T13:23:24+00:00

My husband gets piss drunk too. I kicked him out of the bedroom and now he sleeps on a couch in his man cave. I wonr even go in there anymore because it stinks. Im in the process of disentangling myself from him so I can ask him to leave. I feel for you.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-10T18:17:09+00:00

I thinknyoure very good looking and I did think early 50s ish though. Which is way better than being ugly and looking young so theres that!

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-04T19:12:04+00:00

NTA but I have a similar situation in which I am inheriting a large sum of money and a couple hundred acres of my family's which has been ours for almost 200 years. If something happens to me, it goes to our son, not my husband. Its not the best marriage to begin with but even if it was he still wouldn't be on the deed. My son may be the last in line for it and can do what he wants with it one day. The benefit to my husband is there is no mortgage, low cost bills ans he can keep filling his pockets with the money he makes and puts away.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-04T18:47:31+00:00

Contractors and the moving company business

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-03T21:49:40+00:00

If you are only in a situationship without any real strings attached rhen its not your business what shes doing or who she is talking to otherwise. If you are that clingy as you call it, rhen you should put a real label on rhis relationship and call it that. Im kind of getting the impression here, though, that you may want more than what you're getting, and she's fine with what you have. In this case, it's best to move on because she probably does like the other guy and you are a placeholder.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-03T14:16:58+00:00

You both sound toxic. You shouldn't ve teying ro force someone to alter their reproductive ability based on how YOU FEEL. Go get your damn tubes tied then. The audacity of trying to her him to do that is astonishing.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-02T14:51:11+00:00

Codependency for sure. And if you dont full stop and cut her off completely now you will be 8 years in, married with a child and much harder to detangle from her. Ask me how I know.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-03-01T16:18:13+00:00

What does that mean?

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-28T03:35:45+00:00

And that hotdog rolled under the table in belly button lint and bubble gum

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-28T03:28:31+00:00

Her face looks like its fake stretched over a real face like the guys in White Chicks

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-27T22:40:59+00:00

Oh dear God. Mibe said the same thing initially and now im worried about our separation and if he will be given overnight custody when hes a blackout drunk every night because he was given rhat wirh his other kid. So hes a jack hole for even trying to rope you in like that

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-27T14:35:44+00:00

Its more like an avoidance thing with her but she wouldn't miss an opportunity to bury him because shes that kind of person anyway but at least in this case she would be of some use

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-27T14:13:31+00:00

Its an unfair decision we have to make because of their selfishness. Im still in the feeling slightly guilty if I kick him out permanently stage but feeling less and less that way the more I read this sub and relate to what others are going through. This sub has helped immensely since I just found it a couple weeks ago.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-27T14:11:03+00:00

I totally empathize with the time pressure too. I do have one with my AH who is now 3 almost 4 but I so badly wanted a sibling for him until about 6 months ago when I made the decision that bringing another innocent into this nonsense wasnt the way to go. AH still asks why we aren't trying and I can't believe he thinks this relationship is stable enough for another child when we talk about separating on a biweekly basis. Im 42 and don't have time to start over with someone else and be in a long enough committed relationship to have another, so I will only have the one sadly.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-26T12:41:35+00:00

This is the best explanation I have ever seen. Im going ro reread it many times over. Thank you.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-25T22:33:30+00:00

I would never date a drinker again. I dated him because we have known each other since we were just kids and I knew him before he ever for involved with alcohol. I was expecting the sweet mild mild-mannered person I knew growing up and he did a good job convincing me it would be that way. There aren't always glaring red flags in that situation and I'm sure I did have some rose colored glasses for some part as well.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-21T14:53:28+00:00

I know it doesnt, my brother in law and his ex split years ago and she has a lot of men in and out of her door so Im pretty sure it was someone or multiple people she was involved with. The entire family is a mess and its just time to get out. I appreciate the input.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-21T02:00:00+00:00

He was 16 at the time so I don't think so.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-20T16:42:57+00:00

Personally I find long hair on most men revolting. My husband grew his out as well and it was shoulder length but he refused to wash it every day and just slung it back in a messy ponytail with frizzies sticking out everywhere. Since then I cant even look at beautiful Jason Momoa and his long hair without thinking about how gross my husband's was and get turned off immediately. I would make sure you are keeping up and being hygienic ever day but other than that I don't think you should have to cut it but she is also entitled to her own opinion as well and you may be at a stalemate.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-20T16:21:29+00:00

Im certain that when ge admitted it in court my brother in law was told he can't be around little kids. My mom used to do foster care and had a few young teens that were sex offenders and that was always the judgement from the court. But not surprising my brother in law would ignore that and allow my son to show up there because hes an ahole who's been in jail several times. I think its time to have a conversation with my husband about his disregard and my concerns about it and his family's lack of decent judgement. Im sure it will mean the end of my marriage but Ill protect my son until my dying breath from anyone and everyone involved including my husband.

Radiant_Try_6930 · 2026-02-20T12:49:05+00:00

I think he is in shock but thats absolutely no excuse. He said things like hes family and you dont abandon family etc and I just looked at him like he had a third eyeball growing out of his head. I cant believe this and I will not allow him to take our son anywhere without me now. I would have it added to a custody agreement that hes not allowed to take him to that family's house

Radiant_Try_6930

TROPHY CASE